No. No. You can still make this work. You climb on top of the chair and sit on the back, feet planted on the seat with space in between for the smear of spider goo. It is incredibly painful on your rear. Pain amplified by your unstable headspace - and balance!
The chair falls backward and your back meets the, thankfully grassy, ground with force enough to stun you briefly. You lie there for a moment, tears welling up in your eyes, before hearing your wife say…
“Should I even ask?”
1 - “No, please” 2 - “I’d rather you didn’t.” 3 - “I’m fine. Thanks for asking!” 4 - Some inappropriately nihilist or fatalist gobbledygook.
SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Failure] - It takes a few swipes of your rag, but you manage to “gently” relocate the spider from off the chair. Leaving behind a “gentle” smear. Smashing it outright would have been a kinder fate. Well done, slick.
1 - Wait! No! I’m sorry! 2 - Well now I can’t sit here. I don’t want bug guts on my butt. 3 - Well now I have to sit here, or their tragic death will be in vain! 4 - Some forth option that exists between sitting and not sitting.
Bon-Bon: You got up in a hurry to run out and buy a candle just to recreate this joke.
Lyra: Yes.
Bon-Bon: You are a silly pony.
Lyra: Yes.
Answer + tag people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with! tagging: (to be determined)
Hello! Yes, this is pon! Coming to you live from scenic… our house. But we recently put up a detached garage! Thank you @nejamin for summoning me from the depths of obscurity- and hopefully making some people cringe at the reminder they used to follow a pony blog (don’t you be ashamed of me)!
▪︎◇▪︎ favorite color(s) -> Orange! I also like pink.
▪︎◇▪︎ last song I listened to -> Ha ha ha. Couldn’t have been timed better. Waking Up by Julian-K from the Shadow the Hedgehog video game. This is what it’s like to be free!
▪︎◇▪︎ last film I watched -> Never really been big on movies. Uh… It’s been long enough that I struggle to even begin to recall. Literally years.
▪︎◇▪︎ currently reading -> Proofreading this post multiple times because I am compelled to!
And that’s it! If anyone wants to message me I still check the ol’ tumblr daily (usually even multiple times a day), so know that I am watching you…
…
… Anyway! I tag @soundofseclusion (if they wanna), who has been posting reviews of video games for a while now. Always fun to read!
isolating the vocals on the last verse of Once In A Lifetime reveal many dark secrets
fyi that rough cut right in the middle of a “same as it ever was” isn’t my doing, that’s in the actual mix, somebody apparently needed to stitch that last bit together right in the middle of a word
Me alone in my house at 2:37 AM
It’s true!
Lyra, can u lick over Bon Bob's body?
Anonymous
Bon-Bob! Liza’s after me secret formula!
Bon-Bob! Where are ya, me boy?!
Bon-Boy me bob! I teched that throw!
Terminator is back
Anonymous
Had to look this one up.
On the one hoof, yeah he made the first 2 and that’s quite a pedigree to have returning to your franchise.
On the other, he made a worse FernGully, and that’s… well, a different kind of pedigree.
Lyra and Bon Bon, do u have any evil version of u?
Anonymous
“You see, Bon-Bon!” Lyra shouted over the noise of the workshop, “These magical automations can do all the work for you! It’ll free up so much time! No more growing food or manually controlling the weather. It’ll all be automated!”
“What about ponies that want to work?” Bon-Bon’s curiosity was genuine, but Lyra quickly dismissed her with a wave of her hoof.
“Pfft, well they can try. But once the algorithms are perfected, there’ll be no keeping up with a machine. Besides, the world will be better off this way. Can’t you see?! A world where leisure time is all the time!”
Bon-Bon drew back from Lyra’s deranged grin, “Okay… Leisure. Like sports and games?”
Lyra turned her back on Bon-Bon in a fit of laughter, “Hahaha~! Of course not! These machines will far outperform any living creature. And their ability to communicate instantaneously with one another would result in a far more entertaining spectacle!”
Bon-Bon moved in closer and placed a hoof on Lyra’s shoulder, “Cooking then? I love cooking.”
But Lyra only rolled her eyes and walked back towards her workbench, leaving Bon-Bon’s leg to droop weakly, “Don’t be ridiculous. With endless endurance and knowledge, machines will be able to test every possible combination in every quantity to determine the absolute best possible meals imaginable. That one over there has already succeeded in making a couple of things that were edible.”
Lyra’s leg extended without even looking toward a lifeless animatronic, rhythmically pounding on some kind of sickly green-colored dough. The noise its metal hooves made banging against the counter only added to the cacophony of noise from the other machines.
“And in only a week’s time! You’d be doing yourself a disservice to even try to compete. The same goes for crafts, music, theater, reviews- not to mention cleaning, designing, building, sewing-”
“Wait wait.” At Bon-Bon’s interruption Lyra turned around, only to find a grave look of concern on Bon-Bon’s face. Lyra had seen that look recently. “If these machines are supposed to do everything for us, what are we supposed to do.”
A meek shrug was all Lyra could manage, “Whatever you want.” Then the words she feared followed.
“But what’s left?”
Head down, staring into despair itself, Lyra turned back to her station. “I see…” Then further, in a voice coated thick in malice, “So Twilight has gotten to you too, then…”
I don’t know. Nothing? Like, consider it a crisis and use it as an excuse to loaf around and not do anything? Complain about having breasts? Be forced to wear clothes all the time because I’d lack a coat? Although, maybe in the summer that last bit wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Lyra and Bon Bon, if u met Sombra, what will u do?
Anonymous
Lyra: Probably pee a little. From what Spike’s told me, that guy was scary.
Bon-Bon: Not somepony you’d want to meet for an afternoon lunch, that’s for sure.
Lyra: I’ve seen a lot of “evil” in my life, and the scariest to me isn’t the evil that doesn’t know its evil. Or the evil that revels in being evil. It’s the evil that doesn’t care its evil. It can’t be pleaded with, it can’t be reasoned with or redirected- because it doesn’t matter to them. The things they do isn’t even with any real endpoint in mind, and that makes them the most unhinged and dangerous.
Bon Bon, are u 100% fell in love with Lyra?
Anonymous
I don’t know… 100% is an awful lot. Maybe between 80% and a 70% depending on the day. Low as the 60s if she’s being an especially large ponce. Always a passing grade, but I swear she scrapes it sometimes.
Lyra is the light of my life, the sparkle in the dew, and the ray through the clouds. I was a filly when we met and I waited over 20 years for her to say “I love you”.
Frankly, 100% doesn’t quite seem to cut it.
Lyra and Bon Bon, if u saw a human is here, what will u do?
Anonymous
Hey dude! If you want a grilled carrot, grab a bun!
Anonymous
