Ask Lyra

1) I’ve had to wait considerable amounts of time too, but never consistently.

Eh. I’ve heard worse.

2) I love lasagna! You’re pretty cool too, though.

3) Haha-! You’ll pay for your own drink or use a water fountain.

I know. But I guess I should look more into it. I mean, I can’t look like but so much of a dork playing Warframe. I’m pretty good at that one (mostly because it’s not hard).

4) I don’t like horror games, but it seems… like something. Like the kind of thing that you can’t take seriously, but would still probably scare the pee out of you.

We don’t have animatronics, so…

5) Lyra: Strawberry, do you come over to see me or the help?

Bon-Bon: Hey!

Tootsie: Hey! … I don’t get it.

1) Ouch… That’s a long time to have to wait consistently. And if I ever need to carry a bunch of stuff, we have a wagon.

I had the first one for over a year, the second one for close to a year, and then the patch for only a month or two. Oh! Did you know asksirlintalot messaged me after I switched to the patch he drew and asked if I wanted a custom one on a larger resolution? I was so taken back! I wanted to say yes, but I already had planned to switch to the fourth one (I had already seen the sketch), so I declined.

2) Yeah, I know I’m not supposed to [omitted] swear. We had a Celestia [omitted] swear jar briefly, but I threw that mother [omitted] piece of [omitted] out the Celestia [omitted] window after the first five [omitted] minutes. Because [omitted] that [omitted] in the [omitted] [omitted]. [Omitted] it up and down and on its face!

Oh, and this just makes me think of this.

3) Tootsie: She’s so cool! She’s smart! And a princess! And she fired a huge laser! It was all Bzz-Oooom! She saved everypony with her friends! And that’s why she lives in a castle now!

4) Uh… If you say so buddy.

I have a new avatar done by The Great and Benevolent Fuselight to go along with the new header he also made me!

Also, here’s a gif of Bon-Bon’s hair color inverting, my hair growing longer, and the couch turning into Tootsie.

1) Ponies just hoping against hope, I guess.

Congratulations, though! I never got that far.

2) Tootsie: I like playing! And talking! And running! And jumping! And I probably ask too many questions, but I just want to know!

3) Since I have no intention of watching it, I watched a review. The guy didn’t care for it much (Caution: Strong language).

4) I sort of miss the old ponization that localization companies used to blindly enforce over here. I so wanted to headbutt that giant rat in the face with my horn.

Yes, but generally the added damage that the help provides will far outweigh the boss’s extra health.

Lyra: Well, we talked it over with her mother-

Bon-Bon: And with careful supervision-

Lyra: I’d like welcome the newest question answerer to AskLyra: Tootsie!

[Pause]

Lyra: I mean Liza!

Liza: Thank you! It’s an honor to officially join in!

Lyra: Looking at the screen though, you don’t think maybe I could just call you Tootsie on the computer, do you? Liza and Lyra look an awful-lot alike.

Tootsie?: Hmm… I’ll think about it.

1) Lyra: Well?

Bon-Bon: Eh.

Tootsie: PaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2) Me neither…

[Door open]

Ribbon: Oh.

Lyra: Nice to see you too.

Ribbon: Bon-Bon isn’t here?

Lyra: Not right now.

Ribbon: Well, I’m here for Tootsie.

Lyra: I figured. She’s cleaning up some toys.

Ribbon: I see.

[Lengthy pause]

Ribbon: So… How much time have you spent with my daughter?

Lyra: Little to none.

Ribbon: … Really?

Lyra: Ask her yourself.

Ribbon: I’m… Just a little surprised, is all.

Lyra: Believe it or not, I do try to adhere to your wishes regarding Tootsie. She’s your daughter; not mine. I’m not going to disobey you just for petty revenge.

Ribbon: That’s… very admirable of you.

Lyra: I still have a sense of honor. I still try to respect the opinions of others.

Ribbon: Valuable virtues to instill in future generations… I suppose my husband was right again.

Lyra: Listen. We’ve both said some things to each other that could probably have been worded better. If you’re willing to let all of this go, so am I.

Ribbon: … I’m… sorry.

Lyra: I’m sorry too. Hug?

Ribbon: Let’s just stick to cordial conversation and go from there.

Lyra: Fair enough.

Liza: I’m ready!

Ribbon: Oh, Tootsie! It’s good to see you again. Let us be off.

Liza: Bye, Lyra!

Lyra: Have a good one, Liza!

Champagne: Tootsie, have a seat.

Liza: Yes sir.

Champagne: Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Your mother and I will not support you financially forever. We couldn’t if we wanted to. And we don’t. We have meticulously plotted out your course, from education to business owner; president of a major floral production corporation. You have a very bright future ahead of you. Your mother and I have assured that.

Liza: Yes sir…

Champagne: But… None of that amounts to anything if it’s not what you want.

Liza: S-sir?

Champagne: You will not abandon the path we have set for you. Not yet. There are opportunities available now that cannot be wasted by indecision. You will continue your studies, as we have assigned, until you graduate from high school. After that, the future is yours to decide. The only thing I require is that you stand on your own four hooves. I will not have my only daughter scraping to make ends meet. Do you understand… Liza?

Liza: Yes sir! Thank you, daddy!

Champagne: I love you. Now run along and play.

Bon-Bon: … Picking out the asks for today?

Lyra: Well, I was gonna, but somepony sent me a video. I should probably watch it first. It’s a video game, so…

Bon-Bon: Right. I’ll go get a snack or something.

Lyra: Hmm… Unarmed. Must be using that ring…

Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia, he’s here!

Lyra: What? Who’s-?

Bon-Bon: Tootsie’s father!

Lyra: What?! What do we-?

Bon-Bon: Hello! Champagne! Ribbon! It’s good to see you! Welcome! Ah…

Liza: D-dad?

Champagne: Bon-Bon, I would like to speak with my daughter alone.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Lyra, come on.

Lyra: But, he can’t- This is our-

Bon-Bon: And-he-could-buy-it. Move-your-hooves.

Champagne: Dear, that includes you.

Ribbon: W-What?

Champagne: I believe you’ve already had time to speak with Tootsie.

Ribbon: I-… Alright.

[Door closes]

Lyra: … By your own husband.

Bon-Bon: Lyra!

Ribbon: You are filth.

Lyra: Get out of the way.

Ribbon: What are you-? Are you eavesdropping with your phone?

Lyra: Voice recognition program. You don’t want to see what they’re saying?

Ribbon: … Scoot over.

Lyra: You lying, two-faced, disillusioned, irresponsible, ungrateful, overpriced piece of undisposable rubbish!

Ribbon: How dare you speak to me that way?! You’re-You’re nothing more than an utter waste upon civilized company!

Lyra: The most civilized company you’ve ever “embraced” was some dirty pony behind a Hoof and Hock!

Ribbon: Did you just-?!

Lyra: You bet I did!

Bon-Bon: Girls!

Ribbon: You rancid, disease-ridden vermin!

Bon-Bon: That’s enough! Ribbon, this is about you not appreciating the lengths I go through for you! And Lyra! What the heck?! I thought you were supposed to help!

Lyra: Sorry. I got carried away.

Ribbon: In a perfect world, you’d be carried away!

Lyra: What was that, you-?!

Bon-Bon: Stop it! Stop it! [Sigh] Ribbon, I’ve spent most of my life helping you. It wasn’t so long ago that you owed more money than you could afford to pay back. I know you haven’t forgotten what those days were like.

Ribbon: Of course not, Bonnie. You know I am forever grateful for your generosity. And I know it’s not just about the money, but the timing. That’s why I’ve been paying you to look after Tootsie.

Lyra: Instead of what? Expecting it to be done for free?

Ribbon: Instead of hiring a professional to work out of our home. Does she really need to be here for this?

Bon-Bon: Yes. And you shouldn’t need to hire anypony to help raise your own foal. At least not full time. She’s your responsibility. Lyra was right, you didn’t even know her age. That is not excusable.

Ribbon: I work. I study. And when I’m done I want some time to unwind. Champagne and I give Tootsie everything she could ever want. We’ve meticulously planned out every financial hurdle for her future. She will grow up to be twice as successful as I or you will ever be. I give her my all! Why should she need anything more?

Bon-Bon: Because your all is just money! She needs your time!

Ribbon: I don’t have time for time!

Lyra: Too busy sending innocent ponies to prison.

Ribbon: For your information, you uncouth peon, I am a Public Defender. I’m the one trying to keep poor ponies out of prison.

Lyra: So you’re defending criminals.

Ribbon: Insufferable! Depraved-!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon! Lyra, I swear to Celestia-!

Lyra: Alright! I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: If you really feel that somepony should look after your child, then you need to be more appreciative. Not just throw money in my face.

Ribbon: I cared enough to go out of my way and search for somepony for you to spend your days with!

Lyra: That wasn’t for her! That was for you! You treat your own sister like an object to accessorize and boost your social standing!

Ribbon: That’s absurd!

Bon-Bon: But that’s exactly how I feel, Ribbon. You’re not helping me.

Ribbon: I’m trying to elevate you away from that… thing. She’s toxic! Even she knows it!

Bon-Bon: She’s my friend! She’s helped me more than you ever have! And she actually shows me she’s grateful!

Ribbon: I see. I’m sorry you feel that way, sister. However, this whole ordeal has proved to me just how toxic this environment is. I’m afraid Tootsie won’t be returning.

Lyra: Her name is Liza!

Ribbon: She is my daughter! I birthed her! I planned her future! And I will not hear of her referred to by such a… common name! Go fetch- Ugh, I’ll do it myself! Tootsie! Get your things we are leaving!

Liza: No!

Ribbon: Tootsie! H-how long have you-?

Liza: I listened to the whole thing! You’re not taking me away from my role model!

Ribbon: Role model? It’s you isn’t it?! You corrupted her with your ignorance! I told you to stay away from my-!

Liza: It’s Miss Cheerilee!

Ribbon: Who… Who is?

Bon-Bon: Her teacher.

Lyra: You’d know that if you were ever around.

Ribbon: Tootsie, my dear, don’t be ridiculous. What about your uncle?

Liza: I don’t want to grow flowers!

Ribbon: Bu-But your cutie mark! The flower farm! Your uncle is giving it to you when he retires! You’ll have your own flower named after you! You’ll be rich! A household name!

Liza: Miss Cheerilee says that cutie marks are open to interpretation. And that your job doesn’t have to match your cutie mark.

Ribbon: That’s preposterous!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon, your cutie mark is a bow! You’re an attorney!

Ribbon: Ah-… I… [Pause] We will discuss this at length with your father, when he has the time. For now I need you to-… [Pause] Very well. You may remain here for the moment. But don’t be surprised when your father comes around and drags you back home once he finds out. Tootsie, please behave. Bon-Bon, a good evening to you.

[Door close]

Lyra: That took a lot of guts, to stand up to your own mother.

Liza: [Sniff]

Bon-Bon: Oh, Liza. Come here. Shhh. She’ll come around.

???: Bonnie! Sister! Good afternoon! Good to see you!

Bon-Bon: Hello, Ribbon. Why the fanfare? Liza! Your mom’s here!

Ribbon: What? Can a mare not be pleased to see her sister well?

Bon-Bon: Not usually, no.

Ribbon: I’m sorry. Is this not a good time? I thought we might speak for a bit since…

Bon-Bon: Since Lyra went to Canterlot for the weekend. But you already knew that, didn’t you.

Ribbon: Guilty as charged! Ah haha! Hello Tootsie! MmmMM! Go wait in the carriage please. Such a good filly! Ah ha… [Clearing throat] Yes, well. Since I knew you’d be alone this weekend, I thought “What an excellent time this would be for my dear, dear sister to make a new friend!”

Bon-Bon: You didn’t.

Ribbon: They’re waiting behind the carriage!

Bon-Bon: Rebecca! You brought some stranger to my house?! Get rid of him!

Ribbon: Her! It’s a her! I know you like mares so it’s a filly this time!

Bon-Bon: Get rid of them!

Ribbon: Bonnie, if you’d just-

Bon-Bon: NOW!

Ribbon: [Sigh] Very well, Bonnie. As you wish.

Bon-Bon: [Incomprehensible muttering] Don’t believe this…

Ribbon: There. I hope you’re pleased with yourself. She wasn’t exactly easy to find. Somepony, a single mare your age no less, willing to come all this way for somepony she’s never met.

Bon-Bon: That’s because it’s ludicrous! What’s wrong with you?!

Ribbon: Wrong with me? I have a ten-year old daughter and my big sister has yet to be in a serious relationship! A mare of your stature living with a-a roommate! All that I can do to dance around the subject in conversation!

Bon-Bon: Excuse me?! I work forty-plus hours a week and still spend more time with your daughter than you do!

Ribbon: Exactly! You could be the name in confections for all of Equestria! Instead you waste away in this-this three bedroom/two bath outhouse with that-that vagabond, gypsy… Drifter!

Bon-Bon: … What did you say?

Ribbon: She won’t stay here, Bonnie. It doesn’t matter how you feel about her! She won’t stay here forever! It’s not in her nature. Not in her lower-class upbringing! She’s a-

Bon-Bon: I swear to Celestia-if you call her a street urchin one more time.

Ribbon: You’re better than this! Better than her!

Bon-Bon: Get out of my house!

Ribbon: Does she even love you back-?

Bon-Bon: I SAID GET OUT!

[BLAM!] [Locking mechanism]

Bon-Bon: … [Sniff] … [Sob] … [Sniff]…

1) I… hadn’t heard anything about the Ninja Turtles being aliens. If true I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to acknowledge its existence.

My favorite will always be Ninja Turtles 3. Of course, 4 had a certain charm too.

2) Lyra: Okay, now go ahead.

Liza: Thank you very much, Mr. Coffeeseer.

3) Evidently I have to go. It’s not in Lower Canterlot. It was right outside a storefront on a busy street, out in the open. It’s hard for me to understand how nopony could have seen anything…

But yeah. I guess let me know when and I’ll give you a tour.

Lyra: Exactly! I have no idea if it’s still happening or not! I have no asks! But do I have no asks because no pony has anything to send me or are none of the messages getting through?! It’s maddening and-!

Tootsie: Excuse me! I have an announcement to make.

Lyra: Oh…?

Bon-Bon: Of course, dear. What is it?

Tootsie: From now on I will be going by the name, Liza Doolots. I will not be answering to Toosie Flute. So if you could please refer to me as Liza Doolots I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Lyra: … Wha-?

Bon-Bon: Of course, Liza! I think that sounds splendid!

Lyra: Uh… Yeah, Too-… Liza! That’s, uh, ballin’! Crackerjack. Cool…

Liza: Thank you!

Bon-Bon: … I blame you for this.

Lyra: What?! I didn’t even do anything!

Bon-Bon: Can’t wait to have this conversation with my sister.

Lyra: It’s not my fault this time!