Bon-Bon: Still no word on Lyra…

Bon-Bon: As unlikely as I thought it’d be, I looked anyway. Nothing.

Bon-Bon: What kind of emergency would have made her do that? And to leave without telling me? No. That can’t be it…

Bon-Bon: I’m going to look back through her blog. Maybe she mentioned something.

Bon-Bon: Okay. So, Lyra never came home yesterday. And originally I was really angry because I figured she went drinking. But I-I went to work and came home. And then I searched all over town and I can’t find her anywhere. Nopony’s seen her. If anypony knows anything, please let me know. I’m very worried.

2) Tape leg two!

[Whir-r-r-r-r] [Kaboom!]

Incidentally, I dressed up as a mummy for Nightmare Night once. So whether intended or not, there is a logical connection.

3) B: Has the existence of marijuana ever been established in this world?

Lyra: As far as I can remember the only narcotic that’s ever been confirmed by name was arid.

4) Bon-Bon: … No. Why would you have a cutie mark for candy and dream of being a model? There’s no logical progression there. Also, only one of us can sing. And it isn’t her.

5) …

Bon-Bon: Where are you going? Was that the last question?

Lyra: Oh nothing. I’ll be back later. I just gotta …go do something. 

Bon-Bon: No! You know what? Not done!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean-

Bon-Bon: You see these curls? Ponies love these curls! Ponies adore these curls! Ponies will lose their train of thought and just stare at these curls!

Lyra: They’re very nice and I-

Bon-Bon: You see these baby blues? Ponies get lost in these baby blues! When I bat these eyelashes, ponies melt to the floor!

Lyra: Yes, I’ve always liked your eyes and-

Bon-Bon: You see these hips?

Lyra: Um.

Bon-Bon: Ponies love these hips! These are strong, sturdy hips! You think I got these hips from sitting on my flank all day eating candy? I don’t think so! I sway these hips from left to right and I could bust a door down! Doorbusters! That’s what they call these hips!

Lyra: I um-

Bon-Bon: You see these legs? Do they look wimpy and flabby to you? These legs come from standing all day. Running around. Bending over. Lifting, pulling- working! These are tone, shaped legs! These are the kind of legs mares wish they had!

Lyra: I-

Bon-Bon: So don’t you dare, Lyra! Don’t you dare think I’m not attractive! I am drop-dead gorgeous and don’t you forget it!

[Slam!]

Twilight: Oh! Lyra! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!

Lyra: Yeah… I just wanted to come by to thank you again for your help. You know, personally.

Twilight: I was happy to help, of course. But to be honest I’m still a little uneasy about lying. I don’t feel that was the best decision.

Lyra: Bon-Bon’s been talking for years about expanding and hiring some help, but she’d never go through with it. She always thinks she’s looking so far ahead, but really she’s just afraid of the risks. Risks I can take for her. She wants to do it, but she’d never agree to me helping her unless she thought she could pay me back.

Twilight: And you’re sure this was the only way to make that happen?

Lyra: You’ve got your elements of harmony to guide you. But growing up I had a different set of rules to go by. A little lie here can lead to a greater truth down the road.

Twilight: But this isn’t some little white lie. She’s going to eventually find out that there is no government grant. Approximately a year from now, in fact.

Lyra: Hopefully by then it won’t matter…

Twilight: According to this you work some… sixty hours a week!

Bon-Bon: No, I’m in the shop sixty hours a week. I work much more than that once I’m home. Especially during the busier half of the year.

Lyra: It’s not like you’re really working that entire time.

Bon-Bon: Oh, you mean like you’re not really working when you’re sitting in your little stall doing nothing most of the time? And for half the hours?

Lyra: I am-!

Keep reading

Lyra: I don’t believe this…

Bon-Bon: Thank you so much for seeing us, your highness!

Princess Twilight Sparkle: It’s my pleasure! I’m delighted by this opportunity!

Lyra: I don’t belieeeeeeeeve this…

Keep reading

?: I’m glad you could both make it. As this concerns both of you I feel it is a necessity.

Bon-Bon: Of course!

Lyra: Sure thing, Doc. Nopony else I’d rather be trapped in a room with against my will than you.

?: Thank you. Once again, I am Doctor Reification. We are here today to continue the discussion our friend Lyra and her style of alcohol consumption-

Keep reading

[Click]

Bon-Bon: Welcome home, Lyra. Enjoy your shift?

Lyra: Ugh… Don’t you have work in the morning?

Bon-Bon: I’ll manage. I hope you didn’t think this was over.

Keep reading

1) Why does it go on for three minutes?

2) That’s quite the position! Congratulations, sturmtruppen!

3) …

Bon-Bon: It’s gonna be alright, Lyra.

Lyra: … [Sniff] I already miss him… I hadn’t seen him in forever and I already miss him…

[Door open]

Ribbon: Oh.

Lyra: Nice to see you too.

Ribbon: Bon-Bon isn’t here?

Lyra: Not right now.

Ribbon: Well, I’m here for Tootsie.

Lyra: I figured. She’s cleaning up some toys.

Ribbon: I see.

[Lengthy pause]

Ribbon: So… How much time have you spent with my daughter?

Lyra: Little to none.

Ribbon: … Really?

Lyra: Ask her yourself.

Ribbon: I’m… Just a little surprised, is all.

Lyra: Believe it or not, I do try to adhere to your wishes regarding Tootsie. She’s your daughter; not mine. I’m not going to disobey you just for petty revenge.

Ribbon: That’s… very admirable of you.

Lyra: I still have a sense of honor. I still try to respect the opinions of others.

Ribbon: Valuable virtues to instill in future generations… I suppose my husband was right again.

Lyra: Listen. We’ve both said some things to each other that could probably have been worded better. If you’re willing to let all of this go, so am I.

Ribbon: … I’m… sorry.

Lyra: I’m sorry too. Hug?

Ribbon: Let’s just stick to cordial conversation and go from there.

Lyra: Fair enough.

Liza: I’m ready!

Ribbon: Oh, Tootsie! It’s good to see you again. Let us be off.

Liza: Bye, Lyra!

Lyra: Have a good one, Liza!

Ribbon: You can’t be serious! You’re going to risk Tootsie winding up like… like that?!

Lyra: For the record, this is why I hate you.

Champagne: Ribbon, you love me, don’t you?

Ribbon: Ugh. Yes, but-

Champagne: Would you love me as much if our marriage had been prearranged?

Ribbon: … Uh-

Champagne: If we force Tootsie into this, she will hate it and resent us for the rest of her life. I’m confident that she will make the right decision. And that decision will be whatever she chooses. It is our place to guide her to a better future; not drag her kicking and screaming.

Ribbon: I… suppose so.

Lyra: How adult of you.

Ribbon: You are still to stay away from my daughter!

Champagne: Ah yes. Lyra. How is that bear friend of yours?

Lyra: We… actually haven’t spoken in a while…

Bon-Bon: You never told me that…

Champagne: Sorry to hear. When last we spoke I believe you were working in early education. I found that somewhat strange, considering how… crass your language can become. You must have considerable control over your lexicon.

Lyra: Well, yes. Of course.

Champagne: Be sure to exercise that control when in my daughter’s presence.

Ribbon: No!

Lyra: Sir, yessir!

Ribbon: I will not allow that wretched thing near my daughter!

Champagne: Bon-Bon, my apologies for the brevity of this visit. We should gather again soon. Perhaps during the holidays?

Bon-Bon: Certainly!

Ribbon: Are you listening to me?!

Champagne: We will take our leave for now. Well wishes.

Lyra: Have a good one!

Bon-Bon: Take care!

Ribbon: Are you ignoring me?!

Champagne: Of course not, my dear. Shall we talk about it on the way home?

[Door close]

Lyra: … Wait a minute. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Ribbon treating you better?

Bon-Bon: Let it go.

Champagne: Tootsie, have a seat.

Liza: Yes sir.

Champagne: Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Your mother and I will not support you financially forever. We couldn’t if we wanted to. And we don’t. We have meticulously plotted out your course, from education to business owner; president of a major floral production corporation. You have a very bright future ahead of you. Your mother and I have assured that.

Liza: Yes sir…

Champagne: But… None of that amounts to anything if it’s not what you want.

Liza: S-sir?

Champagne: You will not abandon the path we have set for you. Not yet. There are opportunities available now that cannot be wasted by indecision. You will continue your studies, as we have assigned, until you graduate from high school. After that, the future is yours to decide. The only thing I require is that you stand on your own four hooves. I will not have my only daughter scraping to make ends meet. Do you understand… Liza?

Liza: Yes sir! Thank you, daddy!

Champagne: I love you. Now run along and play.

Bon-Bon: … Picking out the asks for today?

Lyra: Well, I was gonna, but somepony sent me a video. I should probably watch it first. It’s a video game, so…

Bon-Bon: Right. I’ll go get a snack or something.

Lyra: Hmm… Unarmed. Must be using that ring…

Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia, he’s here!

Lyra: What? Who’s-?

Bon-Bon: Tootsie’s father!

Lyra: What?! What do we-?

Bon-Bon: Hello! Champagne! Ribbon! It’s good to see you! Welcome! Ah…

Liza: D-dad?

Champagne: Bon-Bon, I would like to speak with my daughter alone.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Lyra, come on.

Lyra: But, he can’t- This is our-

Bon-Bon: And-he-could-buy-it. Move-your-hooves.

Champagne: Dear, that includes you.

Ribbon: W-What?

Champagne: I believe you’ve already had time to speak with Tootsie.

Ribbon: I-… Alright.

[Door closes]

Lyra: … By your own husband.

Bon-Bon: Lyra!

Ribbon: You are filth.

Lyra: Get out of the way.

Ribbon: What are you-? Are you eavesdropping with your phone?

Lyra: Voice recognition program. You don’t want to see what they’re saying?

Ribbon: … Scoot over.

Lyra: You lying, two-faced, disillusioned, irresponsible, ungrateful, overpriced piece of undisposable rubbish!

Ribbon: How dare you speak to me that way?! You’re-You’re nothing more than an utter waste upon civilized company!

Lyra: The most civilized company you’ve ever “embraced” was some dirty pony behind a Hoof and Hock!

Ribbon: Did you just-?!

Lyra: You bet I did!

Bon-Bon: Girls!

Ribbon: You rancid, disease-ridden vermin!

Bon-Bon: That’s enough! Ribbon, this is about you not appreciating the lengths I go through for you! And Lyra! What the heck?! I thought you were supposed to help!

Lyra: Sorry. I got carried away.

Ribbon: In a perfect world, you’d be carried away!

Lyra: What was that, you-?!

Bon-Bon: Stop it! Stop it! [Sigh] Ribbon, I’ve spent most of my life helping you. It wasn’t so long ago that you owed more money than you could afford to pay back. I know you haven’t forgotten what those days were like.

Ribbon: Of course not, Bonnie. You know I am forever grateful for your generosity. And I know it’s not just about the money, but the timing. That’s why I’ve been paying you to look after Tootsie.

Lyra: Instead of what? Expecting it to be done for free?

Ribbon: Instead of hiring a professional to work out of our home. Does she really need to be here for this?

Bon-Bon: Yes. And you shouldn’t need to hire anypony to help raise your own foal. At least not full time. She’s your responsibility. Lyra was right, you didn’t even know her age. That is not excusable.

Ribbon: I work. I study. And when I’m done I want some time to unwind. Champagne and I give Tootsie everything she could ever want. We’ve meticulously planned out every financial hurdle for her future. She will grow up to be twice as successful as I or you will ever be. I give her my all! Why should she need anything more?

Bon-Bon: Because your all is just money! She needs your time!

Ribbon: I don’t have time for time!

Lyra: Too busy sending innocent ponies to prison.

Ribbon: For your information, you uncouth peon, I am a Public Defender. I’m the one trying to keep poor ponies out of prison.

Lyra: So you’re defending criminals.

Ribbon: Insufferable! Depraved-!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon! Lyra, I swear to Celestia-!

Lyra: Alright! I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: If you really feel that somepony should look after your child, then you need to be more appreciative. Not just throw money in my face.

Ribbon: I cared enough to go out of my way and search for somepony for you to spend your days with!

Lyra: That wasn’t for her! That was for you! You treat your own sister like an object to accessorize and boost your social standing!

Ribbon: That’s absurd!

Bon-Bon: But that’s exactly how I feel, Ribbon. You’re not helping me.

Ribbon: I’m trying to elevate you away from that… thing. She’s toxic! Even she knows it!

Bon-Bon: She’s my friend! She’s helped me more than you ever have! And she actually shows me she’s grateful!

Ribbon: I see. I’m sorry you feel that way, sister. However, this whole ordeal has proved to me just how toxic this environment is. I’m afraid Tootsie won’t be returning.

Lyra: Her name is Liza!

Ribbon: She is my daughter! I birthed her! I planned her future! And I will not hear of her referred to by such a… common name! Go fetch- Ugh, I’ll do it myself! Tootsie! Get your things we are leaving!

Liza: No!

Ribbon: Tootsie! H-how long have you-?

Liza: I listened to the whole thing! You’re not taking me away from my role model!

Ribbon: Role model? It’s you isn’t it?! You corrupted her with your ignorance! I told you to stay away from my-!

Liza: It’s Miss Cheerilee!

Ribbon: Who… Who is?

Bon-Bon: Her teacher.

Lyra: You’d know that if you were ever around.

Ribbon: Tootsie, my dear, don’t be ridiculous. What about your uncle?

Liza: I don’t want to grow flowers!

Ribbon: Bu-But your cutie mark! The flower farm! Your uncle is giving it to you when he retires! You’ll have your own flower named after you! You’ll be rich! A household name!

Liza: Miss Cheerilee says that cutie marks are open to interpretation. And that your job doesn’t have to match your cutie mark.

Ribbon: That’s preposterous!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon, your cutie mark is a bow! You’re an attorney!

Ribbon: Ah-… I… [Pause] We will discuss this at length with your father, when he has the time. For now I need you to-… [Pause] Very well. You may remain here for the moment. But don’t be surprised when your father comes around and drags you back home once he finds out. Tootsie, please behave. Bon-Bon, a good evening to you.

[Door close]

Lyra: That took a lot of guts, to stand up to your own mother.

Liza: [Sniff]

Bon-Bon: Oh, Liza. Come here. Shhh. She’ll come around.