Spike: And I promise you won’t hurt my feelings. I just need to know which one is better!

Lyra: [Gulp] Seriously, Spike? You tried to beat sweet potatoes with cauliflower?

Spike: Well, that was part of the contest…

Lyra: I mean, yeah, [Chew Smack] Twilight’s sweet potato muffins are a little doughy, but it’s sweet potato! [Gulp] You can’t beat sweet potato with-
Bon-Bon: The cauliflower bites are the superior dish.

Spike: [Gasp] Thanks Bon-Bon! Yeahoo!

[Pause]

Lyra: You just lied to a child.

Bon-Bon: Which of us has the chef’s palette? Besides, if somepony didn’t tell him he won I think he was going to get sick eating all those muffins.

Lyra: You just admitted your decision wasn’t impartial.

Bon-Bon: You’re just jealous I got a hug.

Lyra: You don’t even like hugs…

Bon-Bon: What?

Lyra: What?

Bon-Bon: You can’t be serious.

Lyra: Hey, I’m not saying I don’t like Vanilla Strawberry Cream. I’m just saying it’s not always the best.

Bon-Bon: That doesn’t make any sense. You love Vanilla Strawberry. It’s your favorite ice cream, it’s your favorite cake. It’s your favorite ice cream cake. It’s your favorite cookie, it’s your favorite candy. If I knew how to bake it into a bagel, it’d be your favorite bagel. And you don’t even like bagels!

Lyra: Shows how much you know. I love strawberry bagels!

Bon-Bon: This is exactly what I’m talking about!

Lyra: I’m talking about Vanilla Strawberry Cream! They put it on everything!

Bon-Bon: Of course they do! We make what sells! And your conveniently deniable obsession with Vanilla Strawberry drives the entire market! It can’t possibly be overused!

Lyra: [Scoff] Well I think Vanilla Strawberry Cream is overused!

Bon-Bon: Hmph!

Spike: Yes! Fighting! [Pause] Uh… I mean, what seems to be the problem?

Lyra: Hey, Spike.

Spike?: What do you want?

Lyra: Oh Spike, you didn’t forget did you?

Spike?: Forget w-?
Lyra: I mean, that would be so out-of-character and suspicious if you didn’t remember. You look forward to it every week.

Spike?: Uh… No. I’ve just been really busy. Twilight’s been running me all around town.
Lyra: Oh mare. What a slave driver.
Spike?: I know, right? I’m kind of in a hurry so-
Lyra: Fortunately this never takes very long. You’ll be in and out without her ever knowing. Got some good ones for you this week.

Spike?: G-Good ones?

Lyra: Hmm? Oh yeah! Some great memes! Bon-Bon even made us some cupcakes!

Spike?: Oh boy. I look forward to those things.

Lyra: You sure do little buddy. You sure do.

Lyra: Yeah. That’s definitely turned on.

Spike: The portal to the human world was like this when we got back from Canterlot. You really don’t know anything about it?

Lyra: No. I don’t have a reason to go back to that world again. I got everything I needed the first time.

Spike: This is really bad… If Twilight finds out-

Twilight: Finds out what?

Spike: Twilight! I-I-

Twilight: I already know everything, Spike.

Spike: You… do?

Twilight: Even with the map, I still consider this portal the most valuable and dangerous object in the castle. You think I don’t check on it several times a day?

Spike: But… why didn’t you say anything?

Twilight: You were solving a problem, so I let you take care of it. And you did a good job, Spike. At least until this happened. Speaking of which… Lyra, did this little lie lead to a greater truth too?

Lyra: Hey, I don’t know anything about this!

Twilight: I’d like to believe that, but you already tried going behind my back once. Regardless, this is a major security risk. There’s no telling who went in there, what they’re doing, or what they might bring back.

Lyra: So close the portal. Risk gone.

Twilight: I can’t! If whoever passed through the portal is still in there, they’ll be trapped! And if they become desperate… Ooh… I wish I’d dismantled that machine the moment I got back!

Spike: What do we do now?

Lyra: Go in after them?

Twilight: No… If something bad happens, Sunset Shimmer will contact me. I can’t let whoever went in there know that we know. We’re going to have to wait this one out, Spike. Lyra, I want to trust you. Whoever is doing this could be coming and going daily. If you find out anything, please let me know.

Lyra: Yeah, sure.

Lyra: Well hey there, Spike!

Spike: Lyra? Uh… Is Bon-Bon here?

Lyra: Yeah, you need her?

Spike: N-no, I… Is Tootsie Flute here?

Lyra: Yes, Spike. The gang is all here. What’s up?

Spike: Um… Can you come with me? I think I need to show you something.

Lyra: You think you need to show me something?

“Alright! You did it!“ Spike cheers! “Owlowiscious, the book!“
The owl gives a soft, “Who?“ Then flies up to the top of the large machine and picks up the book with its talons. Lyra backs away from the machine and its quiet hum and lights slowly fade. The bird drops the book into Spike’s waiting claws, then flies over to the cover on the ground and starts to fumble with it.

Lyra drops to all four legs and approaches the little purple dragon, “Spike, I-“
Spike puts the book under his arm and holds his other claw up to stop Lyra, “You can explain later. For now-” Spike jumps and points to the door, “Everypony needs to get out! Twilight’ll be back any second now! Rear stairwell and out the window! Go go go!“

Everypony breaks into a run and, lead by Blossomforth, snakes their way to and down the stairs. Once there they each jump out the nearest window, one at a time. Lyra leads the group outside, hugging the wall as they head toward the front of the castle. She then gives a signal to go, “Twilight just went inside! Move!“

Then the group makes their final sprint back toward town.

You feel like you’re falling, and can see bright lights pass before your closed eyes. You try your best to brace for impact, but you don’t know which way is up! You start to feel sick when suddenly the lights disappear and fresh air impacts your face. Then, something soft catches you and you open your eyes.

“Gotcha.” You find yourself on Blossomforth’s back, who has just landed. You roll off and stumble for a dizzy moment. Once you get steady, you take a look at your hand, which has turned back into a hoof. Looks like you made it!

You look around the room. Blossomforth is next to you, looking like she’s ready to dive and catch you if you lose your balance. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are beside one another. Bon-Bon is off to one side; there’s an owl perched on a box near her. And Spike is in the middle.

Spike claps, “Alright! That just leaves Lyra left, right? She’s still coming, isn’t she?“

The portal starts to flash and Blossomforth pulls you out of the way with one of her wings. Then she steps in front of you and bends her knees, ready to fly into action. Literally. The mirror glows and Lyra slowly walks out, standing on her hindlegs.

As you closed your eyes, you heard Spike say something, “I hope Lyra is alright.“

Why? Why is it always Lyra? Doesn’t anypony care about Bon-Bon? Lyra is nice enough, most of the time. But you’ve also heard her say some very mean things. And she’s admitted to doing bad things like stealing. Like hurting others. Bon-Bon would never do that. Bon-Bon would never hurt anypony.

So, why? What is it about Lyra that draws everypony to her?

Down a few halls and up one flight of stairs, Spike only stops once to check inside a room, but quickly exits and continues on. He eventually leads you and the group into an empty room and rushes over to a gray tarp covering a massive form. Without any flair, he pulls the tarp off to reveal a giant machine! It’s got tubes! And cylinders! And beams! And-and little… stick thingies with circles! It’s all bursting with purple/pink magic! And at the center of it all is… A portal?! This must be it!

Spike is beside himself, “I can’t believe this! It’s been running this whole time! There’s the book up there!“ He points to a stand at the top holding a brown book with a picture of a sun on it- Princess Celestia’s cutie mark! Spike spins around to face you, “You said she’s been gone three days?!“ He grabs hold of his face and drags his cheeks down, “Oh, man! If Twilight found out about this she’d be furious!“ Spike closes his eyes and begins pacing back and forth doing a mock impersonation of Twilight’s voice, “Don’t you understand the repercussions of blah blah blah?! Alternate dimensions are not a playground for yakkity yak yak! The very idea of-“ He stops abruptly and opens his eyes to the group of ponies staring at him.

Spike exhales slowly, seeming to have calmed down, “Look. Twilight’s been under a lot of stress lately, and there’s no doubt this would be the straw that breaks the mare’s back. You’ve got to get in there, find the two ponies, and get them home! I’ll try to cover for you as long as I can, but eventually Twilight is going to figure this out! She’s already been freaking over the book being missing!” You and the others nod slowly in understanding, but Spike jumps with impatience and points to the portal, “Don’t just stand there! Go!“

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon break into a sprint and vanish into the portal first, with Blossomforth right behind them. You hesitate for just a moment, then run toward the machine. The closer you get, the more blinding the swirling, pink light becomes. Eventually you’re forced to close your eyes. You take two gallops more and jump.

But your feet never touch the ground.

Blossomforth leads you, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon to the upstairs foyer. She says to wait in the hallway and goes on ahead. Once she’s gone, Diamond Tiara begins voicing her disapproval.

She throws her forehooves up, “What did I say about telling as few ponies as possible? I was almost impressed with how you handled getting caught. Now an adult knows, and she’s going to tell Princess Twilight’s sidekick! You think he’s going to keep this a secret from her? If this whole thing comes back to us, we’re saying you forced us to go with you!“
Silver Spoon nods, “And it’ll be two against one. Who do you think they’ll believe?“

You try to explain that she wasn’t going to keep it secret anyway, but they won’t listen. Either way, you hear Blossomforth and Spike heading toward you.

“But the tour didn’t come this way. Twilight’s given the same tour all day and she’d never deviate from it.“
“Would you please just come on. I’m trying to show you something.“

Blossomforth rounds the corner and points to you. Spike looks at her funny, then glances over at where she’s pointing.

“Uh… Hello there?” He gives a weak wave and turns back to Bloosomforth, “Did I miss something?“
“They need some help and I’m calling in that favor you owe me.“
Spike’s face turns flush and he trips up on his words, “Uh… Well, I… Um…“
She puts a hoof on Spike’s shoulder, “We don’t have to discuss what it was, but what I’m requesting is very important. Two pony’s lives might be in danger.“
Spike nods and Blossomforth continues, “We need to know what you know about a portal to another dimension in this castle.“
Spike looks away toward the ground, “I’m… not supposed to talk about that. Twilight says it’s a breech of security.” Spike looks up to Blossomforth, who points to you, “Two pony’s lives are in danger?“
Your explanation gets as far as mentioning Lyra and Spike jumps with a start, “Lyra? I know her! She’s missing?“
You nod and he pounds his fist into his palm, “Then there’s no time to lose. Come on!“

Spike breaks into his strange, two-legged run, and the four of you follow.

Oh my gosh! I saw! I know it was before my time, but I love Homestar Runner! And my favorite character is Homestar Runner too! It was a real treat to see him dancing around on screen again! I used to love seeing how he would always best Strongbad, without even trying! Because the good guys always win! What did you think, Gilda?

I think you need to chill out, dweeb. I don’t even know why you wasted my time showing me that lame cartoon. Except for the blood. That was sort of cool. And the bold eagle thing was sort of funny, I guess. Laughing at speech impediments never gets old. Though it does take out some of the fun when they’re laughing at themselves.

Spike: I know how this is going to end. Not even sweatin’ it.

Hey Spike! I heard you were… Uh… Nevermind. I’ll ask Applebloom tomorrow.