You disagree about the plan, but you really don’t want to be around these two.

After taking a few steps back and sizing up the window, you burst into a sprint and kick yourself up the wall. You manage to land your body on the sill and pull yourself in the rest of the way. Not as graceful as you’d imagined, but task complete.

You hear Diamond Tiara from outside, “Nice job! Assuming nopony heard you, of course. Now pull us up.”

Pausing to check your surroundings, you notice the room is empty and undecorated. This part of the castle must not be in use yet. There’s no door and the hallway beyond is L shaped; going to the right.

Outside, you hear Silver Spoon speak, “What is she doing up there?”
“Probably checking to see if the coast is clear. That’s what I’d do.” Diamond Tiara replies.
“What if she just left us?”
“This is for your birthday; she wouldn’t do that. Relax.”

That’s right. This was for her birthday. They both gave you presents last year. And you were invited to Silver Spoon’s birthday party last year too, before you punched her. They’re mean, hateful ponies. But would leaving them behind, after they helped you find the safest way inside, make you any better? This could even be your way of making amends to Silver Spoon for hitting her.

“Besides,” Diamond Tiara continues, “If she does, we’ll make her life completely miserable.”

Well, that’s always a strong motivator too.

Either way, this is your last chance to suffer through Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon coming along, or ditching them, and whatever retribution comes with that.

By the time you catch up, the two fillies are already mid-conversation below one of the windows.

“Well,” Diamond Tiara rolls the map back up again, “According to this, that’s the best way in. It offers the most cover.”
“So we don’t even need it anymore? Wasn’t this a waste of time?” Silver Spoon, completely aware that you’re there, points at you without looking. “It’s not like we had to wait for her.”
“It pays to be prepared.” Diamond Tiara tosses the map into the bushes. “Now help me up.”
“Excuse me? It’s my birthday-” Silver Spoon pauses to judge the position of the moon, “Technically today! You give me a boost!”
Diamond Tiara scoffs, “Well that’s not going to happen.” She points to you. “Give us a boost, and we’ll pull you in from inside.”

Can they really not make that jump? You’re positive you can. This could prove an ideal opportunity to leave those two behind. But, if they can make it inside, or even if they can’t, they’ll likely find a way to sabotage you. Or at least try.

Aunt Bon-Bon says kids are always very melodramatic. Lyra says that most adults forget how dramatic it is being a kid.

Double-cross sounds a little harsh. You just want to get away from them.

A simple enough question. You ask.

Berry Pinch forces through a yawn before answering. “Black mail; why else would anypony be here?”
“I was invited!” Zipporwhill excitedly replies.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon return, looking annoyed.
“Aren’t you two done yet?” Diamond Tiara looks square at Berry Pinch, “I thought you said this wasn’t going to take very long.”
Berry Pinch walks towards Diamond Tiara, shoves the clipboard into her chest, and starts walking away, “I’m going home.”
“What?!” Silver Spoon exclaims, “If you leave now we’ll-!”
“You’ll what?” Berry Pinch replies over her shoulder, “Map is in your writing-style. I was never here.”
Silver Spoon rushes over to Diamond Tiara and gasps at the map. Diamond Tiara waves Berry Pinch away, “Let her go. She knows this isn’t over.”
Zipporwhill flies over, looking worried, “Where is she going?”
“Don’t care,” Diamond Tiara replies coldly, rolling up the map, “Just like I don’t care where you go. But it won’t be with us.”
Her wings stop beating and Zipporwhill lands slowly, “But… But you said we were having a sleepover!”
“Tsk. I don’t remember ever saying that.” Diamond Tiara puts a hoof to her mouth and turns to Silver Spoon, “Do you remember me ever saying that?”
Silver Spoon taps her chin, “Something about coming over for the night. Nothing about sleeping. Nothing about staying.”
Zipporwhill’s lowerlip quivers and you can see tears forming in her eyes.
“Too bad,” Diamond Tiara brushes past her, “But don’t worry. We’re sure you won’t get in too much trouble when you get home.”
“Come on, Zipporwhill,” You hear Berry Pinch call back. Evidently she turned around and came back. “You can spend the night at my house.”
Zipporwhill quickly flies over to Berry Pinch, her voice still shaken, “But-but won’t your mom be super-angry?”
“Trust me, she won’t care,” Berry Pinch replies and the two disappear into the night.

After watching this scene, you turn around to berate the two bullies for their horrible behavior, but they’ve already walked away toward one of the castle windows.

You’re just a kid! You can’t incapacitate an adult guard! You do tell her everything else, though.

“Don’t worry your little head over it, Little Liza,” Diamond Tiara waves a hoof in dismissal.
“Yeah,” Silver Spoon chimes in. “Secrets never remain secret to us for very long.”
“No kidding…” Berry Pinch says with a dejected yawn.
“And it’s not like we’ll be splitting up,” Diamond Tiara puts a hoof around Silver Spoon. “If we leave you alone, you might blow our cover.”
You see Zipporwhill zip over to comment, “I am so very excited for our upcoming adventure!”
“Yeah,” Diamond Tiara rolls her eyes.
“Whatever,” Silver Spoon does the same.

Zipporwhill gives a wide smile and returns to looking into the windows while Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon take a few steps away, seemingly to talk in private. Berry Pinch glances over at you and stares for a long moment before going back to her drafting.

“Dancing with the devil tonight, aren’t you?”

Diamond Tiara seems to be waiting for you to ask, so you do.

“Oh, it’s really quite brilliant.” She rubs a hoof on her chest and glances down to admire it, “A true testament to my intellect.”
“Except it was my idea…” Berry Pinch mutters under her breath.
“And I picked you to think of something, so that makes it my idea. Daddy says that’s delegation.”
Berry Pinch can only roll her eyes in response.
“As I was saying,” Diamond Tiara turns back to you, “The help is mapping out the back of the castle and guessing at how the rooms connect. It won’t be perfect, but together with our knowledge it should be enough to get us around.” Diamond Tiara leans in close, “FYI, they don’t know what we’ll be looking for. If it is true, the fewer ponies that know, the better.”

You can’t argue with that. Getting caught in another dimension isn’t like getting caught sneaking a cookie. You’d get in at least twice as much trouble!

You have room enough to pack some water. Good thing Lyra buys bottled water. She doesn’t like the taste of tap. You can’t tell the difference.

Another dimension is no place for a dog, so you put out some extra dog food and leave Simple behind. Hopefully you won’t be gone too long. Or somepony comes to investigate.

With nothing more to do, you head out early toward Princess Twilight’s Palace. The sun has completely set by now, but the moonlight is just bright enough to find your way along the empty roads. When you reach the outskirts it appears you’re alone at first, but you see a light shine in the darkness on one side of the castle. As you approach, you realize it was Silver Spoon’s glasses; she was using them to reflect the moonlight as a signal.

“About time you got here,” Silver Spoon puts her glasses back on and adjusts them, “We were starting to think you weren’t going to show!” She turns away and walks along the side of the castle, under the well lit windows. You start to mention that you’re fifteen minutes early, but you’re too exhausted from dealing with these two to argue.

You and Silver Spoon reach the backside of the castle to find Diamond Tiara and, oddly enough, Berry Pinch and Zipporwhill. Zipporwhill is buzzing about looking in the windows and talking to Berry Pinch, who seems to be writing something. Once you get close enough, you can tell Zipporwhill seems to be having the time of her life, but Berry Pinch looks tired and miserable. There are clear bags under her eyes and she yawns two or three times every minute.

Diamond Tiara walks over to “greet” you, “So hard to find good help, and on such short notice. Here’s hoping this little vacay of yours is worth the trouble, for your sake.”

Unfortunately not an option, as that’s implied. The pair have set up a kind of mandatory silence when it comes to their actions. Anypony that dares break the chain will have their secrets and embarrassing moments revealed one after another until they cave. Then they’re forced to share secrets to them about others, furthering their control. It’s incredibly cruel, but not something any one pony can fight against. Maybe one day everypony can stand against them both at once and end the cycle, but that’s obviously not today.

Diamond Tiara approaches you and lifts up your head, “Poor, poor Liza. You must think us awful for bringing you to such a lowly state.”
Silver Spoon snickers, “Yeah.”
You’re surprised to find Diamond Tiara’s hoof extend to help you up, “You should come with me. Just the two of us. We’ll hang out. Play some games. I’ll show you I’m not such a bad pony.”
“Yeah…! Wait, what?!” Silver Spoon’s face is awash with confusion. Admittedly, yours probably is as well.

Diamond Tiara puts her foreleg around your neck and turns to Silver Spoon, “We’ve hung out together since school. I don’t have to foalsit you all day, do I?”
Silver Spoon is completely speechless. If not for the terrible feeling that this is somehow going to get much worse for you, you’d almost be enjoying yourself.
Diamond Tiara rolls her eyes, “Oh stop. It’s not like I won’t see you tomorrow at your birthday party. I just need to spend a little time with Little Liza here. You understand, of course.” She turns around, taking you with her, and you both walk away without so much as a goodbye. But under her breath, you hear Diamond Tiara whisper to you, “That’s right. Keep walking. Don’t look back and don’t say a word.”

There’s that sense of dread again.

Even knowing they won’t take it, you offer them free candy. They don’t surprise you.

Diamond Tiara scoffs, “Candy? You think you can buy our silence with candy?”
“If that’s the best you’ve got, I think revenge would taste a lot sweeter…” Silver Spoon seems to be relishing this opportunity.

At least this proves they aren’t above forms of bribery. In fact, that’s probably what they were after all along. But they’re rich. You’d have to offer something with a different kind of value. Something you can’t just buy or find.

You unceremoniously (another big word) turn around and start to walk away. But you don’t get far before you hear them both behind you.

“Uh, hellooo?!” Diamond Tiara calls after you. “Aren’t we forgetting something?”
“Yeah!” Silver Spoon joins in. “Did you suddenly think we weren’t going to tell?”

Oops. You forgot why you even stomached talking to them for that long. You still need to convince them to not tattle on you.

You’ve never met anypony by that name, at school or otherwise. You’re also eight and have never seen The Brady Bunch. Why even ask this right now?

You decide to just tell the truth, or at least some of it. The pair seem less interested in this than before. Less because they don’t believe you, and more because they don’t care.

Diamond Tiara rolls her eyes when you finish, “If some smudged-up, old mirror is so important to you, why don’t you just knock?”
“Yeah, they’re giving tours of the castle today,” Silver Spoon adds. “Of course, we were on the first tour.”
“And would you look at the time? They might have finished for the day.”
“Wouldn’t that be a shame if Little Liza had to wait until next Tuesday?”

They both grin at each other. They’re right though! Princess Twilight was supposed to start giving tours of the castle every Tuesday! But with it being this late, they’re probably done for the day. You can’t wait a week! If they’ve been on a tour of the castle, they could probably help you navigate. This would make their help even more valuable if you sneak in. That is, if you can figure out how to convince them.

On the other hoof, you could just try knocking. Or maybe somepony on good terms with Princess Twilight could help you get in. Do you even know anypony like that?

You begin to explain the potential value in place as a criminal, using your own family’s heritage as an example. You discuss the Bohun family’s ancestry as successful pirates and how they practically built half of Canterlot! You’re interrupted pretty early on.

“Oh my gosh,” Silver Spoon turns to Diamond Tiara. “She’s really serious.”
Diamond Tiara shakes her head, “Wow, Liza. You really are a psychopath.”

The two are clearly unimpressed. In fact, they almost look worried. Not what you were going for. Maybe a different approach would work better?

You pick a direction at random and run with Simple like there’s an axe-swinging killer chasing you! Not the most level-headed thing to do, but if anypony planned to catch you, they’d have to catch you first!

Perhaps being led subconsciously, you finally slow around the schoolhouse. It’s after hours and there’s nopony here. Or at least, so you thought. Two unfortunately familiar voices spring up around you.

“Did you hear that?”
“Did I ever!”
“Breaking into a princess’s castle?”
“Haven’t you heard, Di? It’s always the quiet ones.”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon step out from behind bushes on either side of you. They begin to encircle.

“I must say,” Diamond Tiara starts, “I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Me neither,” Silver Spoon snidely adds on.
Diamond Tiara lifts a hoof to her mouth, as though she’s thinking, “Why, breaking into a castle? That’s just so utterly-”
“Criminal?” A sly smile creeps across Silver Spoon’s face.
Stifling a chuckle, Diamond Tiara continues, “Now now, we wouldn’t want Little Liza to lose her cool again. I mean, with nopony around, she might get hurt this time.”
“Oh but Di, we can’t just keep this to ourselves. This is treason!”
“You are so right! It’s our civic duty to inform Princess Twilight of a possible attempt… on her very life!”
“Poor Little Liza.” Silver Spoon turns to Diamond Tiara, “How long do you think she’ll get?”
“Why, they’ll probably lock her up and throw away the key.”
“I meant the guard, Di. Not her parents!”

They both laugh hard and you feel tears coming on. You punched Silver Spoon once and ever since they’ve been calling you a criminal. Everypony knows how much trouble you got in for that too. They know, and rightly so, that you’d never do that again. No threat or insult would hold any weight here. If they tell on you, your plans are completely shot. You’re totally at their mercy. And they have little of that to give.

On the other hoof, when you first changed your name to Liza, they were the first to start using it. They’ve never excluded you from anything they didn’t exclude everypony else from. And of all the kids in Ponyville, they are by far the most resourceful. And if you’re going to break into a castle, you’ll definitely need some help.

What do you do? What do you say?

Princess Twilight Sparkle? She’s from where?

This is dumb. It’s probably not even a real show.

Why do they always ask that? I’m just a pony!

Bon-Bon? I don’t know about that, but I bet Scootaloo’s mother is.
Hey!

I know the answer to that. But I bet you three don’t!

… Ser'ously? I live on a farm.

How am I thuppothed to know what thong that ith?

It-sounds-like-a-radial-awesome-episode-and-I-absolutely-cannot-wait-until-this-friday!