Lyra: I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.
Twilight: I just… never quite put two and two together, I guess.
Lyra: More than that, I can’t believe you didn’t get me! You came back to Ponyville for Pinkie Pie but you didn’t get me?!
Twilight: Well, I couldn’t carry Pinkie Pie and you at once.
Lyra: Alright, fine.
Twilight: I’m really sorry for how I treated you, Lyra.
Lyra: Yeah, well it’s not alright. I was never as smart, or as quick, or as clever, so I couldn’t even keep up with you and Moondancer. Quite clearly, I might as well have not even existed to you.
Twilight: I know! And I’m sorry! If I can just-
Lyra: But you know what really gets to me? All the help you’ve given me. I figured it was because we went way back. But not even knowing who I was? How could anypony have really changed that much? How could a pony that only had friends by association become this selfless… thing? … But I guess that’s why you became the princess. And me…?
Twilight: Lyra… I-
Lyra: I don’t really want to talk right now, Twilight. I just want to think to myself.
Lyra: Yeah. That’s definitely turned on.
Spike: The portal to the human world was like this when we got back from Canterlot. You really don’t know anything about it?
Lyra: No. I don’t have a reason to go back to that world again. I got everything I needed the first time.
Spike: This is really bad… If Twilight finds out-
Twilight: Finds out what?
Spike: Twilight! I-I-
Twilight: I already know everything, Spike.
Spike: You… do?
Twilight: Even with the map, I still consider this portal the most valuable and dangerous object in the castle. You think I don’t check on it several times a day?
Spike: But… why didn’t you say anything?
Twilight: You were solving a problem, so I let you take care of it. And you did a good job, Spike. At least until this happened. Speaking of which… Lyra, did this little lie lead to a greater truth too?
Lyra: Hey, I don’t know anything about this!
Twilight: I’d like to believe that, but you already tried going behind my back once. Regardless, this is a major security risk. There’s no telling who went in there, what they’re doing, or what they might bring back.
Lyra: So close the portal. Risk gone.
Twilight: I can’t! If whoever passed through the portal is still in there, they’ll be trapped! And if they become desperate… Ooh… I wish I’d dismantled that machine the moment I got back!
Spike: What do we do now?
Lyra: Go in after them?
Twilight: No… If something bad happens, Sunset Shimmer will contact me. I can’t let whoever went in there know that we know. We’re going to have to wait this one out, Spike. Lyra, I want to trust you. Whoever is doing this could be coming and going daily. If you find out anything, please let me know.
Lyra: Yeah, sure.
Oh Discord! What a wonderful guest you’ve brought with you to this gala I’m overseeing- ah haha! I will literally scalp you!
Well, seeing as I have no more questions, I guess I gotta end early again. Had a lot of ponies scheduled that never got to do anything. I’ll just address this one message.
Lyra: My speech recognition program has two settings. It either detects who is talking or it just writes down everything that’s said. Now first of all, I have to go in and manually program it to detect each new pony, which is a long, painful task. Doing that for every single pony is a chore and runs into time constraint issues, as most guests only have so long to be here. We already have to pick out the question, throw some ideas around about what would be a good set-up or-
Rarity: Be so ridiculous that… it’s just silly.
Lyra: Rehearse it, record it, usually several times. It would just be one more step we don’t have time for. Especially when some of these guests might not come back. The other reason is that some of the supposed “answerers” aren’t really here. Obviously I couldn’t really get Chrysalis from last year. And Sombra-
Rainbow Dash: Evaporated.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Vaporized would be more accurate.
Lyra: I couldn’t get Trixie last year, but she did come this year. A. K. Yearling formally declined. Scooby Doo and Shaggy are completely out of the question, seeing as they’re cartoon characters-
Discord: [pirate accent] You’d best start believin’ in cartoon characters…
Lyra: … Right… Anyway… Actually I think I’m done. Thank you to everypony that participated, with special thanks to our princesses! Happy April Fools and regular updates will resume whenever I get a message!
Uh… Hmm… This must be one of those smart questions, right? Where the answer is, like, something to do with how the question is worded? Alright. I got this.
Rainbow Dash.
Don’t tell me! I got this!
Rainbow Dash.
I said hold on! I just need a minute! I read books! I’m smart now!
Rainbow Dash! I don’t think it’s a smart question. I think it’s supposed to be a joke. A corrupted amalgamation of two phrases.
… Amalgamation. Right. I was gonna say that.
Oh hoho, I think it’s been a while since I’ve been there!
We’ve regrettably been without such a blessing. Upon our return there were many a lesson to be learned. And there is no rubric to the knowledge of a millennia’s passing.
I for one consider everyday to be a fantastic opportunity to learn!
Well, I have been tutored recently on how to properly receive a foreign dignitary.
Ah yes… The dreaded foreign dignitary. Advisory in a conflict with stakes too great to lose, but impossible to win.
I had no idea.
And I thought I was the only one stressing out over their visit!
Far be it, Cadance. There can be no “friendly visit” when it comes to foreign affairs. One must receive them warmly, and make every effort not to offend. But also demonstrate your might and inspire awe. Affirm your solidarity to allies, and establish your dominance to the ambitious. And all in tandem. For today’s comrade is tomorrow’s political rival. And if you’re lucky then… Are you transcribing our conversation?
Me? Oh, I’m taking notes! This is incredible information! A first-hoof account, no less!
Twilight: Oh! Lyra! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!
Lyra: Yeah… I just wanted to come by to thank you again for your help. You know, personally.
Twilight: I was happy to help, of course. But to be honest I’m still a little uneasy about lying. I don’t feel that was the best decision.
Lyra: Bon-Bon’s been talking for years about expanding and hiring some help, but she’d never go through with it. She always thinks she’s looking so far ahead, but really she’s just afraid of the risks. Risks I can take for her. She wants to do it, but she’d never agree to me helping her unless she thought she could pay me back.
Twilight: And you’re sure this was the only way to make that happen?
Lyra: You’ve got your elements of harmony to guide you. But growing up I had a different set of rules to go by. A little lie here can lead to a greater truth down the road.
Twilight: But this isn’t some little white lie. She’s going to eventually find out that there is no government grant. Approximately a year from now, in fact.
Lyra: Hopefully by then it won’t matter…
Twilight: According to this you work some… sixty hours a week!
Bon-Bon: No, I’m in the shop sixty hours a week. I work much more than that once I’m home. Especially during the busier half of the year.
Lyra: It’s not like you’re really working that entire time.
Bon-Bon: Oh, you mean like you’re not really working when you’re sitting in your little stall doing nothing most of the time? And for half the hours?
Lyra: I am-!
Lyra: I don’t believe this…
Bon-Bon: Thank you so much for seeing us, your highness!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: It’s my pleasure! I’m delighted by this opportunity!
Lyra: I don’t belieeeeeeeeve this…
Dear Mike Dawson,
It can sometimes be difficult to stand apart from the crowd and resist falling for the latest trend. A lesson my friend Rarity has learned more than once, but I had yet to discover myself. In an effort to stay ‘hip’, I was willing to try just about anything to keep everypony on my side! But I’ve found that if you truly believe in yourself, you have no need to jump aboard every bandwagon you come across. In time, your true friends will rally behind you for your unique and individual style.
Your faithful Princess,
Twilight Sparkle
I see no reason to believe anything will change, especially not immediately.
I’ve yet to see any indication that she’s become anymore powerful than she already was. Not that flight is any small feat, but she could already self-levitate. Everypony in Ponyville already knew she was Princess Celestia’s student. If ever she called out, everypony in town already listened and was ready to act when necessary. It might seem different, but ask yourself what’s really changed.
The biggest adjustment for anypony to make will be for Twilight herself. Her personal identity has been altered. We’ve always known who Twilight was, even if only subconsciously. She’s the one that’ll need to come to terms with who and what she really is.
If you’d told me two years ago that Twilight Sparkle was going to become an alicorn, and somehow convinced me you were telling the truth, I’d have been irate. The notion that somepony born into a well-off family, with all the opportunity in the world and little hardship, would be rewarded with such a prestigious gift would have left me frothing at the mouth like a rabid animal.
I’ve watched Twilight for quite some time, wishing I had her life. That I could have been born with such potential. That surely I wouldn’t squander it with pointless study in mundane arts like turning an apple into an orange or growing facial hair.
But after all that I’ve witnessed, I’ve begun to understand that I’m not meant to hold such power. For all the magic at her disposal, Twilight has a level of restraint that can only be matched by an alicorn. Were it me, I would have used it to right every wrong I’d ever witnessed. And I don’t think that would have ended too well.
Information on alicorns are a secret even I’ve never had access to. Maybe nothing’s really changed. Maybe Twilight always had the characteristics of an alicorn, just not the appearance. Maybe the spell she completed was the very spell that transformed her, and required a very specific series of circumstances and relationships. Maybe this isn’t the first time it’s happened, just the first time it’s happened this way.
I’ve digressed a bit, but what I’m trying to get to is that I’m happy for her. I still wish it were me; that I could have been given such a reward for the ordeals I overcame. I can’t help that. But she lived the majority of her life in near isolation and learned more about the magic of friendship in a very brief period of time, than anypony else has in their entire life. And that’s a trial I wouldn’t want to undertake.
So here’s to you, Princess Twilight! You deserve everything you’ve achieved and I can only look forward to what you’ll accomplish next!
Just don’t expect me to call you Princess very often.
