Bon-Bon: Okay, so adequately explaining the mood we were walking into during the wedding requires some context. So-

Tootsie: Is this the pirate story?!

Bon-Bon: Yes, this is the pirate story.

Tootsie: I love the pirate story!

Bon-Bon: I know. I know. Okay, so. Well over a thousand years ago there lived two orphan siblings- a brother and a sister.

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If dare ye to question,
Then an answer I’ll yield.
Our destination be westward,
To a place long concealed.

‘Neath the frigid isle of Midday,
Where the sun too long shines.
Lies a cove left unseen,
By all her shorelines.

But were an educated diver
To descend through the deep.
Then the booty does lie,
In that flooded old keep.

Now to the engines you knave,
You salty, swollen mass.
If somepony gets that treasure first…
I’ll Keelhaul your [omitted]!