don’t say “but sexuality is fluid” when a girl tells you she has no interest in men
If someone says this to you:
“Yeah but fluids solidify at low temperatures and you’re not that hot”
I know I reblogged this mere hours ago, but it’s so good I wanna do it again.
I am genuinely upset that I will never get the chance to use this one.
Because
Holy
1) But that’s the whole point! Silly, upbeat- that’s why they’re good icebreakers! These other ones you’ve been sending are just shock humor at best, and downright hateful at worst.
2) Nope, they’re all anon.
3) See! This one is super clever! And it’s a little bit personalized, indicating you probably already know a thing or two about me. But others might hold it too long to measure, if they’re not familiar with the terminology.
4) And then you have this [omitted].
5) I mean… I have no words… I’d probably call for help/security immediately, fearing for my well-being. Why would you ever say that to another person, for any reason, ever?
6) Suddenly this ask is making a lot more sense.
1) Woah! Woah! What the [omitted] dude?!
2) You’re basically out of lines then, huh? Probably should have quit while you were ahead.
1) I’m just saying, all this mention of fire kinda makes you sound like a burnout. Or an arsonist.
2) I’ll admit, after I read about what this means, it was kinda funny in a perverted way.
But, I mean, Jefferson Davis was no Nero. Why are you expecting me to know who this random American was? Forget your audience?
Also, spoilers, I don’t think things ended well for the south.
3) Sure! You lay down flat and I’ll throw a bowling ball at you.
4) I wore a pair of pants once, for a Nightmare Night costume. And even then they weren’t jeans. The line just doesn’t work; the cultural divide is too great.
5) I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder all night, haven’t I? Guess that makes me too cool for you.
1) Hold on, I’m not caught up on my US history. Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say…
“The designation of the period by historians as one of good feelings is often conveyed with irony or skepticism, as the history of the era was one in which the political atmosphere was strained and divisive, especially among factions within the Monroe administration and the Republican Party.“
Doesn’t really speak volumes if that’s what you’re aiming for.
2) I’d pick DNA, Do Not Annoy.
3) This isn’t a pickup line. It’s an ice breaker, but not a pickup line.
4) This one I like. You’re still full of hot air, though. So go catch a breeze and drift on out of here.
5) Aw, so close. I’m actually Unobtainium because you don’t have a chance.
1) Absolutely not. But absolutely fantastic singer!
2) Okay… I don’t
really have a rejection line for this. Why would you want somepony, as
their first impression, to associate you with a tragedy that carries a
death toll in the triple digits? “What? Too soon?” That’s not what I’m saying here, playa. I’m saying there are lasting psychological bonds formed during a first impression and you don’t want that muddled with the kind of negative emotions associated with a historical loss of life, civilian life no less. It’s just not a good line. I’m sorry.
3) This one’s clever! But you’re a little too basic for me.
4) I hope so!
5) Don’t worry about it! You described it, I knew what I was getting into.
1) Well sure! Pickup lines are mostly just puns and general word play. Ponies love word play! It’s tradition! Unless you develop a completely rational hatred of it due to overexposure… Hate to be that pony…
Their intention is to be quick, funny little icebreakers used in a neutral public socialization location; like a bar! Somepony walks up, says “I ordered two drinks. If you want one I can order another.” And you either laugh and invite the generous, but potential alcoholic to join you for a spell or hit them with a “Sorry, I’m a silicon-based life-form. It would literally kill me to accept your offer.“ And they get the light-hearted hint and leave you alone for the night.
Of course, like anything else, they can be done wrongly, or used in the wrong place, or at the wrong time. Like, if you ever ask me, in a crude double entendre, if I frequent a given establishment on a regular basis (you know the one I’m talking about), you don’t get a rejection line. Those are funny and thoughtful. You get a cross look and a well rehearsed, “That is not funny. You are not edgy or interesting for having said it. Go away.“ And if they don’t you contact the staff, and they intervene because you learned who the staff is and what their policies on harassment are before ever taking the first drink. But at this point we’re getting into bar-going standards and I’m rambling.
Lot of ponies seem to think that it’s okay to drop pickup lines and generally hit on others at parties. It is not. You might both be neutral to the location, but the location isn’t neutral…
2) … Now me personally, I think that shows confidence. But a lot of my friends back in Canterlot thought that was poor form. However, if you come up and drop some lame “group pickup line”, of which I have never heard a decent one, then at that point you’re just playing the odds and you can go dunk your head. And ah…
… Recording seems to have cut out at some point and I appear to be on the next question…
Well, in defense of the “anons” I’m pretty sure it was just one anon and they were only being funny.
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