1) B: No.

2) B: I used to be a guard, yes. And B is code, right again. It doesn’t stand for anything, though. I am B because I replaced the last pony that was B, just as they replaced the last pony that was B. Every year a small portion retires and a few more are brought on.

3) B: And yet you receive it anyway. Police forces are the only reason gangs don’t go house-to-house busting down doors, taking whatever they want, and killing anypony inside they can’t use, whether they resist or not.

B: And if that’s bad news for you, if you’re a criminal yourself, the guard still protects you. We’re the only thing stopping some would-be vigilante from going out and planting one between your eyes for lifting their air conditioner.

4) B: She’ll get over it. I screw with her as a friend and she knows it.

B: We are employed by Princess Celestia. We work for Equestria.

B: Observe, communicate, report, and then take action if necessary.

B: And since that answer is short and boring, here’s a message Lyra had left in her inbox for some reason.

Lyra Edit: Nothing here.

1) B: Sure, sure. That parking ticket gets you real upset, until you’re the one that needs help.

2) B: You’ve misunderstood. Regular ponies that carry evil tendencies aren’t our concern. It’s the guard’s duty to maintain order and protect the princesses. Our job description is a little more narrow, but that focus is how we handle the larger threats.

B: But to directly address your question, Tartarus is a prison. Anything outside of Tartarus is a larger threat to worry about.

1) B: You step into Tartarus more than a few times and you start to see what evil looks like. You can see it in their eyes- in the way they move. And then you start to see it everywhere. Evil is a state of mind, and it’s a little too common, even now.

B: But generally we leave the darkness in the hearts of ponies to the guard. We have larger threats to worry about.

Lyra Edit: The nonsensical musings of a bitter, old stallion who thinks himself above the rest.

2) B: Human moves around like a robot.

B: Just sounds like a lot of noise to me, more so than most of the noise ponies call music. I’ll let Lyra see it when she gets back. I’m sure she’ll probably have some young, hip view point to impart.

Lyra Edit: Certainly not something I’d just sit and listen to, but I can see the appeal, yes.

B: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Edit: Now with source!

1) B: I believe the whole point of Lyra leaving somepony else in charge of her blog was to allow her and the bear to have some time together. Wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense if he was the one answering for her, now would it?

B: You may refer to me as B. Or Bee of you feel like unnecessarily spelling something out for no reason.

2) B: Oh, that was a special occasion. We met in a dimly-lit, classy little alleyway where I dragged her, at the time, skinny little [omitted] out of an open window and arrested her for breaking-and-entering and attempted theft. She didn’t put up much of a struggle; I think I may have hurt her pride a little more than her tailbone from that landing. Oh, and imagine my surprise when I discovered she was a repeat offender.

Lyra Edit: I still remember your sweet, sweet eyes that evening. I wanted to tear them out of your skull.

1) B:  Lyra isn’t here right now. But when she gets back Sunday evening, I’ll be sure to let her know that somepony asked her a question to which the answer could be readily found in a matter of seconds by looking at the author’s notes on the right side of her blog page.

B: I’ll even give you a link to follow.

2) B: I don’t know what this is. Lyra said if I got a message that looked like gibberish, it was probably a youtube link, but it’s not doing anything when I try tacking it on to the back of the url.

1) B: Slim, though the possibility does exist. As early as in a year or so, in fact. Somewhat recently a chief justice was married and subsequently asked why she took her husband’s last name. Her reply was very interesting, to the many present who were not aware. As a filly she was emancipated from her abusive parents and she choose to drop her last name to distance herself from them. Under current law, she had no alternative but to take her husband’s last name in order to marry. And to quote her, “Were my husband and I to have both retracted our surnames, marriage between us would have become a legal impossibility.” If you watch and listen to the video of the interview, you can easily hear somepony in the background quietly remark, “Well, that’s stupid.”

B: Every fire starts with a spark.

B: However, none of this is information Lyra doesn’t possess herself. But for her to accept this knowledge and willingly relay it to others would be accepting the possible repercussions it may one day carry. Our Lyra has never faired very well with the concept of hope. I assume I need not explain why.

2) B: Let’s see now… I believe it was: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and then Lyra would likely not finish the quote and offer some wholly unnecessary remark about sexism.

B: Ordinarily if an intelligent being comes to Equestria seeking citizenship, they’d go through immigration. Pretty simple process. Barred from holding any government sanctioned position for a year, and within that year they must prove they’ve integrated into Equestrian society and are able to pay the tax. After that they’re an Equestrian citizen, free to bask in all the rights and protections that offers until such time that they are either unable to continue or prove themselves unfit as a citizen.

B: However, due to the changlings’ unique talent, things become much more complicated. Being unable to tell who may or may not have been involved in an attack against our nation, all changlings would have to be considered ex-criminals. They would be assigned a probation officer and a rehabilitation/reintegration councilor. The process of rehabilitation and reeducation would last as long as necessary- possibly a year, possibly more. After proving they’re able to behave within Equestrian borders, the process to become a citizen could begin.

B: Of course, you don’t have to live in Equestria as a citizen. There’s nothing illegal about being unregistered and without a temporary visa. However, you’re prohibited from engaging in any government related activities, like voting or receiving a permit, and are not protected under Equestrian law. If you’re not a citizen and you get mugged in broad daylight with a hundred witnesses, you do not possess the right to press charges. Somepony else would have to do it for you.

B: A gun?

B: Would you like to borrow this mare’s gun, Lyra?

…

B: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that-Would you like to kill me? Not like I’m taking time out of my day or anything to be here.

…

B: I didn’t think so, but I just wanted to check.