1) Then use your grabbers! </Bmo voice>

Everytime a Lyra mentions fingers or hands, a fandom jumps a shark.

2) That’s alright! I was curious, though. Thanks for letting me know! Hope you get things sorted out soon!

3) Bon-Bon: What are you going to do? Send her your tax information without asking first? For that matter, what do you expect me to do with it? I’ve never filed my own taxes. Before Lyra, I just hired somepony to do it for me.

4) Old maps you say? Any idea what they’re maps of? Ancient land formations? Migration patterns? Plant growth?

1) Bon-Bon: Oh! I know this one! Where’s the Mountain Dew?!

Lyra: No, Bon-Bon, that was befor-

Bon-Bon: Where are the Cheetos?!

Lyra: And that was before that! I-

Bon-Bon: Are there any girls there?

Lyra: Bon-Bon, for the love of Celest-

Bon-Bon: Okay… But-if-there’s-any-girls-there-I-want-to-d-!

2) Thank you! Let me know how things turn out!

3) “Well, at least you didn’t bother using asterisks for your narrated command,” Lyra replied with a flippant, dismissive flick of her hoof.

Okay, before it’s no longer holiday season at all, I wanted to tell this story.

Back in Canterlot, during the time I worked as an ambonic musician, I came upon some friends playing a game. The game was called Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. It looked incredible, so I bought a copy! I had over a hundred hours of fun with a truly challenging game. But when I moved to Ponyville, I lost my copy. I’d always intended to play through the game again, but money was tight so getting another copy was out-of-the-question.

Fast-forward to five days ago. Me opening up presents by myself because I was sick and everypony else was gone, and what do I find in a box labeled From Bon-Bon? Not only a brand new, unopened copy of Noctrune, the game I lost, but Digital Devil Sagas 1 and 2 as well! I was floored!

So this is me officially and publicly thanking Bon-Bon for a truly heartfelt and knowledgeable gift. Thanks, Bon-Bon! It’s awesome!

You guys! They updated the Manedroid version of the game! We can move now! Mr. Cake, Bon-Bon, Spitfire, and me all went to visit Zecora and Twilight to celebrate!

1) Yes, but she hasn’t updated in a while. She said she was coming back once, but I think she either got busy or lost interest. Believe it or not we don’t really talk about tumblr much.

2) When I first moved in we sat down and talked it over. We explained were we stood and that was that.

The one thing I promised was that if I ever started dating somepony and we broke up, I’d go out with her at least once on a date. I don’t think she’d even want to anymore, though. We’re more like sisters at this point.

3) I wasn’t aware of all that, but the coast is pretty far away from Canterlot.

4) WATCH OUT!

5) The cancer, mostly.

6) You know, there’s really no reason why I couldn’t apply my amplification magic to something other than my legs for defense.

That’d be sort of poetic way to crush you like a grape, don’t you think?

7) I’d die before hoof and remove your satisfaction. So what’s your call now, Ump’?

There isn’t really any big story for that. Was first formally introduced to her when we were assigned as partners for a project in… I want to say junior high. We worked together and got a good grade. I hung out a lot with her after that, but only at school.

She moved to Ponyville and some time later so did I. We prearranged my moving in with her and the rest just grew up from there.

I was going to link you to my Bon-Bon tagged messages, but evidently that tag doesn’t even work anymore!

…

Okay, I went back and grabbed the posts I could to retag as something that would work. I don’t think it’s as many as it used to be, but it’s the best I can do without going through thousands of posts.

The sidebar’s tag has been updated to reflect this, so it’ll work now too.

Okay.

Bon-Bon, you are an excellent friend and I don’t appreciate you enough. You invited me into your home and put up with me on a daily basis, and for little in return. I’m truly sorry I’m such a useless hanger-on. But I want you to know that if I’m ever able to repay you for the kindness you’ve shown me day in and day out, I’ll do so tenfold.

You are my sister beyond blood and I love you for it.

Lyra

BA~ZHURE!

To review: I knew Bon-Bon a little from my childhood, but I hadn’t seen her in quite a while before moving in with her. But when you become roommates you give each other a little more trust and freedom, and all that good stuff from the start, especially when you’re the one moving in. We quickly grew into the closest of friends over the first year I lived here.

As for your current situation, I can’t quite relate. I’m not gay; I’ve never had any romantic feelings for Bon-Bon. At this point, she’s like a sister to me.

The kitchen is a mysterious place to me. And I’m not supposed to bother Bon-Bon while she’s cooking. So I don’t know if she’s baking or what.

Bon-Bon has what is known in the professional world as ‘good taste’. I don’t have that. I eat whatever she makes, but I don’t think I really find the subtle nuances that she gets. So I don’t really have a favorite dish, I don’t guess.

She gets me tortilla chips from the grocers. I love tortilla chips.

You can’t really hug me through the ponynet, brony. Unless you want to do that whole asterisks thing, but that’s not really the same.

Tootsie is Bon-bon’s nephew. Tootsie’s parents work all day so she stays with us. She leaves on the weekends to go hang with her real parents.

Bon-bon and I don’t have a daughter. How would that even work with two mares?

Woah! Way to assault me with a bunch of questions all at once!

A) Together? Like in what way?

…

Hold on… meta powers activating….

…

Oh… No. She’s my best friend, and my roommate. We hang out and have fun. That’s it.

B) Yes. When I moved from Canterlot to Ponyville, Bon-bon was looking for a roommate to help pay the rent. She has “fine tastes” so her food bill is pretty staggering. It’s good stuff, though. Most of the time.

C) Yeah, brony! Derpy is awesome! Her and Carrot Top hang out every now and again.

D) No, not really. I mean, Twilight was always so busy back in Canterlot, and that hasn’t really changed. I’m not one hundred percent on who her friends are. Rainbow Dash and Applejack I figure from the Running of the Leaves. Then at the Best Young Fliers Competition, she was with Applejack, and rooting for Rainbow Dash and that dressmaker, Rarity I think. And I want to say she had Mister and Misses Cake’s apprentice with her and some yellow pony I don’t recognize. Boy, she had a set of lungs on her, though.