I have a new avatar done by The Great and Benevolent Fuselight to go along with the new header he also made me!

Also, here’s a gif of Bon-Bon’s hair color inverting, my hair growing longer, and the couch turning into Tootsie.

Lyra: Well, we talked it over with her mother-

Bon-Bon: And with careful supervision-

Lyra: I’d like welcome the newest question answerer to AskLyra: Tootsie!

[Pause]

Lyra: I mean Liza!

Liza: Thank you! It’s an honor to officially join in!

Lyra: Looking at the screen though, you don’t think maybe I could just call you Tootsie on the computer, do you? Liza and Lyra look an awful-lot alike.

Tootsie?: Hmm… I’ll think about it.

1) Lyra: Well?

Bon-Bon: Eh.

Tootsie: PaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2) Me neither…

1) I’d have probably been more impressed if I hadn’t been with another player doing all that live.

Also, no. I mean, if you ever meet me in a relaxed, casual environment, you’ll quickly find that I talk a big game. But even I know better than to cross a dragon.

Finally, buy the Jester Gloves from Magerold in Iron Keep. And get the Nahr Alma Hood and Robe by killing Titchy Gren in Undead Purgatory. There’s more than one way to get the trousers.

2) You know what I think? I think she’s jealous. I think she believes that, because I’m poor, I don’t deserve what I have.

3) … We just… sort of fell out of touch…

4) Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash would probably be pleased. Rarity and Rose would probably kill you.

5) Lyra: Bon-Bon says he’s some kind of executive in some kind of wine company.

Bon-Bon: Chief, Lyra. Chief Executive Officer.

Lyra: … I’m not-

Bon-Bon: He owns the corporation!

Ribbon: You can’t be serious! You’re going to risk Tootsie winding up like… like that?!

Lyra: For the record, this is why I hate you.

Champagne: Ribbon, you love me, don’t you?

Ribbon: Ugh. Yes, but-

Champagne: Would you love me as much if our marriage had been prearranged?

Ribbon: … Uh-

Champagne: If we force Tootsie into this, she will hate it and resent us for the rest of her life. I’m confident that she will make the right decision. And that decision will be whatever she chooses. It is our place to guide her to a better future; not drag her kicking and screaming.

Ribbon: I… suppose so.

Lyra: How adult of you.

Ribbon: You are still to stay away from my daughter!

Champagne: Ah yes. Lyra. How is that bear friend of yours?

Lyra: We… actually haven’t spoken in a while…

Bon-Bon: You never told me that…

Champagne: Sorry to hear. When last we spoke I believe you were working in early education. I found that somewhat strange, considering how… crass your language can become. You must have considerable control over your lexicon.

Lyra: Well, yes. Of course.

Champagne: Be sure to exercise that control when in my daughter’s presence.

Ribbon: No!

Lyra: Sir, yessir!

Ribbon: I will not allow that wretched thing near my daughter!

Champagne: Bon-Bon, my apologies for the brevity of this visit. We should gather again soon. Perhaps during the holidays?

Bon-Bon: Certainly!

Ribbon: Are you listening to me?!

Champagne: We will take our leave for now. Well wishes.

Lyra: Have a good one!

Bon-Bon: Take care!

Ribbon: Are you ignoring me?!

Champagne: Of course not, my dear. Shall we talk about it on the way home?

[Door close]

Lyra: … Wait a minute. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Ribbon treating you better?

Bon-Bon: Let it go.

Bon-Bon: … Picking out the asks for today?

Lyra: Well, I was gonna, but somepony sent me a video. I should probably watch it first. It’s a video game, so…

Bon-Bon: Right. I’ll go get a snack or something.

Lyra: Hmm… Unarmed. Must be using that ring…

Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia, he’s here!

Lyra: What? Who’s-?

Bon-Bon: Tootsie’s father!

Lyra: What?! What do we-?

Bon-Bon: Hello! Champagne! Ribbon! It’s good to see you! Welcome! Ah…

Liza: D-dad?

Champagne: Bon-Bon, I would like to speak with my daughter alone.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Lyra, come on.

Lyra: But, he can’t- This is our-

Bon-Bon: And-he-could-buy-it. Move-your-hooves.

Champagne: Dear, that includes you.

Ribbon: W-What?

Champagne: I believe you’ve already had time to speak with Tootsie.

Ribbon: I-… Alright.

[Door closes]

Lyra: … By your own husband.

Bon-Bon: Lyra!

Ribbon: You are filth.

Lyra: Get out of the way.

Ribbon: What are you-? Are you eavesdropping with your phone?

Lyra: Voice recognition program. You don’t want to see what they’re saying?

Ribbon: … Scoot over.

Lyra: You lying, two-faced, disillusioned, irresponsible, ungrateful, overpriced piece of undisposable rubbish!

Ribbon: How dare you speak to me that way?! You’re-You’re nothing more than an utter waste upon civilized company!

Lyra: The most civilized company you’ve ever “embraced” was some dirty pony behind a Hoof and Hock!

Ribbon: Did you just-?!

Lyra: You bet I did!

Bon-Bon: Girls!

Ribbon: You rancid, disease-ridden vermin!

Bon-Bon: That’s enough! Ribbon, this is about you not appreciating the lengths I go through for you! And Lyra! What the heck?! I thought you were supposed to help!

Lyra: Sorry. I got carried away.

Ribbon: In a perfect world, you’d be carried away!

Lyra: What was that, you-?!

Bon-Bon: Stop it! Stop it! [Sigh] Ribbon, I’ve spent most of my life helping you. It wasn’t so long ago that you owed more money than you could afford to pay back. I know you haven’t forgotten what those days were like.

Ribbon: Of course not, Bonnie. You know I am forever grateful for your generosity. And I know it’s not just about the money, but the timing. That’s why I’ve been paying you to look after Tootsie.

Lyra: Instead of what? Expecting it to be done for free?

Ribbon: Instead of hiring a professional to work out of our home. Does she really need to be here for this?

Bon-Bon: Yes. And you shouldn’t need to hire anypony to help raise your own foal. At least not full time. She’s your responsibility. Lyra was right, you didn’t even know her age. That is not excusable.

Ribbon: I work. I study. And when I’m done I want some time to unwind. Champagne and I give Tootsie everything she could ever want. We’ve meticulously planned out every financial hurdle for her future. She will grow up to be twice as successful as I or you will ever be. I give her my all! Why should she need anything more?

Bon-Bon: Because your all is just money! She needs your time!

Ribbon: I don’t have time for time!

Lyra: Too busy sending innocent ponies to prison.

Ribbon: For your information, you uncouth peon, I am a Public Defender. I’m the one trying to keep poor ponies out of prison.

Lyra: So you’re defending criminals.

Ribbon: Insufferable! Depraved-!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon! Lyra, I swear to Celestia-!

Lyra: Alright! I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: If you really feel that somepony should look after your child, then you need to be more appreciative. Not just throw money in my face.

Ribbon: I cared enough to go out of my way and search for somepony for you to spend your days with!

Lyra: That wasn’t for her! That was for you! You treat your own sister like an object to accessorize and boost your social standing!

Ribbon: That’s absurd!

Bon-Bon: But that’s exactly how I feel, Ribbon. You’re not helping me.

Ribbon: I’m trying to elevate you away from that… thing. She’s toxic! Even she knows it!

Bon-Bon: She’s my friend! She’s helped me more than you ever have! And she actually shows me she’s grateful!

Ribbon: I see. I’m sorry you feel that way, sister. However, this whole ordeal has proved to me just how toxic this environment is. I’m afraid Tootsie won’t be returning.

Lyra: Her name is Liza!

Ribbon: She is my daughter! I birthed her! I planned her future! And I will not hear of her referred to by such a… common name! Go fetch- Ugh, I’ll do it myself! Tootsie! Get your things we are leaving!

Liza: No!

Ribbon: Tootsie! H-how long have you-?

Liza: I listened to the whole thing! You’re not taking me away from my role model!

Ribbon: Role model? It’s you isn’t it?! You corrupted her with your ignorance! I told you to stay away from my-!

Liza: It’s Miss Cheerilee!

Ribbon: Who… Who is?

Bon-Bon: Her teacher.

Lyra: You’d know that if you were ever around.

Ribbon: Tootsie, my dear, don’t be ridiculous. What about your uncle?

Liza: I don’t want to grow flowers!

Ribbon: Bu-But your cutie mark! The flower farm! Your uncle is giving it to you when he retires! You’ll have your own flower named after you! You’ll be rich! A household name!

Liza: Miss Cheerilee says that cutie marks are open to interpretation. And that your job doesn’t have to match your cutie mark.

Ribbon: That’s preposterous!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon, your cutie mark is a bow! You’re an attorney!

Ribbon: Ah-… I… [Pause] We will discuss this at length with your father, when he has the time. For now I need you to-… [Pause] Very well. You may remain here for the moment. But don’t be surprised when your father comes around and drags you back home once he finds out. Tootsie, please behave. Bon-Bon, a good evening to you.

[Door close]

Lyra: That took a lot of guts, to stand up to your own mother.

Liza: [Sniff]

Bon-Bon: Oh, Liza. Come here. Shhh. She’ll come around.

Bon-Bon: It’s good to be back. Minuette’s place is nice, but it doesn’t really have the charm of home.

Lyra: Huh, yeah! I’d hate to ever have to leave this place! Ah haha…

Bon-Bon: … So, what now?

Lyra: … I don’t know. I still want to tell your sister off.

Bon-Bon: Please don’t.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, she has no respect for you. She can’t treat you like that!

Bon-Bon: Nothing you say is going to change that. It’s just going to make things more hostile.

Lyra: Have you ever tried? Have you ever tried pushing her back? All she does is manipulate and attack you! You’re more then in the right to attack her negligent flank back! She has responsibilities too! In fact, she has a huge one that she’s been shrugging off on you! She doesn’t even know how old her own daughter is!

Bon-Bon: She doesn’t plan. She doesn’t think ahead. It’s better that I do take care of Tootsie. She’d just screw it up.

Lyra: If that’s what you believe, then she needs to know that.

Bon-Bon: I don’t know…

Lyra: That’s why I’m going to help you.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: No, you had every right to be upset. I let my emotions get pent up and I took it out on you.

Lyra: No! I was so used to having full control of my tumblr that you posting in my absence scared me. Plus I was a little embarrassed…

Bon-Bon: What I said was deliberately in attempt to make you feel guilty, and it was wrong.

Lyra: And I was trying to make you feel bad! I was wrong too!

Minuette: Hey! That’s great! You were both wrong! Super! But can you do this somewhere else? I’m kinda with a patient right now.

Rose: Yeah! I don’t have all day!

Lyra: Sorry. Let’s go home.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Thank you, Minuette, for letting me spend the night.

Minuette: Sure thing, Bon-Bon! But no seriously, I have other patients after this.

Bon-Bon: Right, leaving now.

Rose: Finally.

Minuette: Now where were we?

[Drill revving up]

Rose: The horror!

Lyra: -ied to me! Lied to my face!

Bon-Bon: I know! I’m-!

Lyra: It’s a breech of trust!

Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!

Lyra: Sorry about what, Bon-Bon?! There’s so much! Sorry about what?! You lied! You withheld information-! All that wasted effort trying to act civil to that polished turd! The next time I see your sister I’m going to tell her exactly where where she can shove it!

Bon-Bon: Lyra no!

Lyra: You told the whole [omitted] internet-!

Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!

Lyra: -Told in confidence! Taken out of context!

Bon-Bon: I didn’t mean to!

Lyra: And then-! And then you tried to cover it up by hacking my XKit blocker! You blocked one of my own tags! Then you blocked somepony else’s! Were they trying to tell me the truth, Bon-Bon?! Huh?!

Bon-Bon: I was just-!

Lyra: How many times did somepony send a message and you intercepted it before I could see?!

Bon-Bon: I-

Lyra: What’s wrong?! Nothing to say?! You just couldn’t stop yourself before!

Bon-Bon: Why don’t you just come out and say it?! You mentioned everything else! Why don’t you just say what you’re really so upset about?!

Lyra: What?

Bon-Bon: You don’t like me! You can’t stand that I still have feelings for you!

Lyra: That has nothing to-!

Bon-Bon: Yes it does! You said you’d date Gilda! You know what that means?! [Sniff] It means you’re not into older guys! You’re not into guys at all! You just don’t like me!

Lyra: That’s because you’re like-!

Bon-Bon: I don’t want to be like a sister to you! [Sob] I never wanted to be your sister! Why can’t you just love me?! What’s wrong with me?! … [Sniff] You went out of your way-… Out of your way to never give me a chance! [Sob] And now it’s too late! [Sobbing]

Lyra: … Bon-Bon, I-…

Bon-Bon: Don’t touch me! Keep your stupid website!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, wait!

[BLAM!]

Lyra: Bon-Bon!

[Rushed door opening] [Fading hoofsteps]

1) I did get it, but thanks for letting me know anyway!

2) Lyra: NotCarlton.

Bon-Bon: Not- Shoot.

3) B: I don’t know what this means or why you would think I would. What are the numbers even supposed to be? A date? A combination? You said book. Is it an edition?

Sorry, Strawberry. I hope you’re okay!

4) I thought it might be boring, but really it seems more… lonely. I mean, you can find ways to pass the time, but there’s only one pony working at the counter during a shift. And depending on the time of day it might be an hour or more before anypony comes to buy a ticket.

And yes. They have a shift that just goes around relieving others so they can go on break. If I ever need to go, I can just send a message and they’ll send somepony to cover for me. But the ticket booth itself only closes for four hours a day, between two and six in the morning.

1) Hmm… You could try pyromancy to supplement without putting any points into intelligence. If you haven’t yet, you’d just need to clear No-Man’s Wharf to gain access to the catalyst for the spells. Not that the boss there is a pushover, but you can have Lucatiel help you.

2) Well, because the game has cooperative elements, it was affecting other players. Several times I’d summon some back up for a boss fight only for them to both be faith builds and they’d drop the boss in seconds; little to no contribution from me. Compare that to no faith builds and it becomes a regular fight that lasts two to three times longer.

I understand your position, and for you playing offline it’s unfortunate that it was one way and then it changed mid game, breaking your build. But as this is meant to be an online game, global balancing is important to maintain the validity of other play-styles, both in PvP and PvE.

3) Well, I’ve only just started. But it’s going great so far! Thanks for asking! Great to hear from you, Star!

4) Yes? You’re clearly wanting me to say yes.

If I was a colt it wouldn’t matter if she was straight or not. We’d have never been roommates.

5) Bon-Bon: Yes.

Lyra: Snooping through my inbox, huh?

Bon-Bon: W-well…

Lyra: Bbz, I’ve told you like five times. I have no known relatives. Colgate is just a mare with a similar mane/tail-style. Now about snooping through my inbox.

Bon-Bon: Excuse me? You said when I agreed to this that I could answer asks while you were away!

Lyra: Of course I did, Bon-Bon. And I’m not complaining about it or anything. You did nothing wrong.

Bon-Bon: I-I know I didn’t!

Lyra: So where are they?

Bon-Bon: What?

Lyra: The asks you answered. Where are they?

Bon-Bon: I… uh… I private replied.

Lyra: I see.

1) Believe it or not, I’ve heard that story before. As for educational, imagine playing that with only cursory knowledge of the world it’s describing.

2) That is silly! This is much less silly (Warning: Disturbing lyrics).

3) Bon-Bon: Thank you, dear. I hope you’re happy too!

Lyra: A~nd no explanation.

Bon-Bon: Such a curious filly you are.

4) Ouch. Also sorry for the delay. Has it been resolved yet?

5) B: I don’t have normal days. I haven’t had a normal day in over five years. There’s always things to do. At the moment I’m still trying to find this pony. I had a decent lead for a while, but it led nowhere.

2) Bon-Bon: Not oooooohhh! Sssshhhhhh! I never should have started responding to these!

3) Bon-Bon: Stop it! I want her to be happy! He makes her happy!

4) Bon-Bon: If you asked her, she’d say no. But I also heard her say once when she was drunk that she used to have a crush on Gilda.

Bon-Bon: And don’t repeat any of this to her! Please!

1) Bon-Bon: She didn’t used to be… She was a dreamer. Then when her dreams came true she just assumed that’s how life is supposed to be. And that we all have the same dreams.

2) Bon-Bon: Of course I do. She knows I do. But she doesn’t feel the same way… And as long as she’s in a relationship, there’s no way that will change.