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1) Can’t you… fly?

2) I suppose that’s a difficult question. Ponies are vegetarians, not vegans. We eat and use milk and eggs in our cooking. But the milk is given voluntarily (though some would argue against that) and the eggs are unfertilized. “Nothing living harmed, and nothing harmed living” or at least nothing consumed has ever been alive by any stretch of the definition.

In Vitro meat can’t boast the same. It’s not real meat, but it still involves the use of slaughterhouses to collect the blood used in its production. You might consider it to be more humane (which is itself a silly word), but it’s not solving the problem. Just reducing it.

3) Bon-Bon: Of course I don’t. But it’d be nice.

4) Bon-Bon: Hmph!

5) I suppose it was wrong of me to think, even subconsciously, that I was more attractive than Bon-Bon. I guess that’s not a healthy way of categorizing things.

Bon-Bon: No! You know what? Not done!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean-

Bon-Bon: You see these curls? Ponies love these curls! Ponies adore these curls! Ponies will lose their train of thought and just stare at these curls!

Lyra: They’re very nice and I-

Bon-Bon: You see these baby blues? Ponies get lost in these baby blues! When I bat these eyelashes, ponies melt to the floor!

Lyra: Yes, I’ve always liked your eyes and-

Bon-Bon: You see these hips?

Lyra: Um.

Bon-Bon: Ponies love these hips! These are strong, sturdy hips! You think I got these hips from sitting on my flank all day eating candy? I don’t think so! I sway these hips from left to right and I could bust a door down! Doorbusters! That’s what they call these hips!

Lyra: I um-

Bon-Bon: You see these legs? Do they look wimpy and flabby to you? These legs come from standing all day. Running around. Bending over. Lifting, pulling- working! These are tone, shaped legs! These are the kind of legs mares wish they had!

Lyra: I-

Bon-Bon: So don’t you dare, Lyra! Don’t you dare think I’m not attractive! I am drop-dead gorgeous and don’t you forget it!

[Slam!]

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1) I’ve probably seen all but a few minutes of it, but never all at once. And while I’m aware of the movie’s setting, I’d hardly call it a good movie for the holidays.

2) Oh sure. Definitely speed boats. Automobiles? Nah. Magic? Don’t even have that. But speed boats are definitively human.

3) Lyra: You see? You see?! This is what I’m talking about!

Bon-Bon: Oh for Celestia’s sake, get over it.

Lyra: You don’t have this problem! Everypony thinks we’re together so they all know you’re gay!

Bon-Bon: Excuse me? I’m constantly mistaken for being straight!

Lyra: My flank.

Bon-Bon: And what’s that supposed to mean? Stallions constantly hit on me!

Lyra: Ha!

Bon-Bon: Oh! Oh I am so done!

Lyra: Bon-Bon! You can’t- I’m not hit on all the time, so-!

Bon-Bon: So how what, Lyra?

Lyra: I-… That… I’m not saying that!

Bon-Bon: You don’t have to!

Lyra: Bon-Bon! I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: The nerve!

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1) If there’s one thing that’s consistent in all dimensions of all civilizations, it’s a once-a-year sale that makes ponies behave like lunatics.

… No offense, Princess Luna.

2) I do like the sound of Tim Curry’s voice…

3) Lyra: You know, I’ve never really paid attention to the lyrics of the song. They’re not describing a pirate, they’re talking about a sailor.

Bon-Bon: It is a little silly. Pirates are a dangerous sort. Oh, but I’ve just been so busy! Hopefully I’ll get to continuing that story soon!

4) That’s fine. That’s fine that you gave no advanced notice. That you sent this message four hours after everypony had already started gathering.

I’m not mad.

5) Because that’s something perfectly acceptable to say to somepony. “Boy howdy questioning your sexuality sure is a thing you should do!”

I’m fine, thank you.

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1) Oh that’s right, dubstep exists. I had forgotten. On an unrelated note I’m now depressed.

Bon-Bon and I are still working through some issues. We got through last night alright at least.

2) Oh my Cels… Oh my God… Where the [omitted] have you been? Why did you suddenly come back?

3) I'ma be straight with ya. You need to talk less about murders during social gatherings. It’s not really appropriate.

4) You’re going to see if you can find B before you try staying at a shelter…

I’ve tried talking to B about it. He says he only knows were you lived back before you started working for the government. And that if you never moved he’s not taking you back there anyway. He also thinks this is an act. I tried to tell you, he doesn’t like you.

5) Bon-Bon: Yes. Thank you, Mike. I managed to piece that together on my own.

Lyra: I said I’m sorry! I was mad!

Bon-Bon: You know, Lyra, some of the most hurtful things anypony has ever said to me have come from you.

Lyra: That? You think that was hurtful?

Bon-Bon: And don’t compare it to how things were for you when you were growing up either.

Lyra: Yeah… Still working through some issues…

Twilight: According to this you work some… sixty hours a week!

Bon-Bon: No, I’m in the shop sixty hours a week. I work much more than that once I’m home. Especially during the busier half of the year.

Lyra: It’s not like you’re really working that entire time.

Bon-Bon: Oh, you mean like you’re not really working when you’re sitting in your little stall doing nothing most of the time? And for half the hours?

Lyra: I am-!

Keep reading

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1) Hello, Vinyl! Didn’t really expect to hear from you on here!

2) Lyra: I don’t have my sexuality in question! You might have my sexuality in question, but I have no questions!

Bon-Bon: [Audiable exhale]

3) I’ve seen fanatical artwork where Bon-Bon was shoving a bunch of red-ringed X-Box 360s down my throat. What you said doesn’t even register on Lyra’s creepy meter anymore.

4) Ah, yes. The punk-rock anthem. All rise!

5) Bon-Bon: Really? Disappointed, sure. But shocked? I’m not trying to call into question your detective-ing ability or anything…

Lyra: I maintain that this whole thing is a load of crap. “Oh no! Denial!” Whatever…

Lyra: I don’t believe this…

Bon-Bon: Thank you so much for seeing us, your highness!

Princess Twilight Sparkle: It’s my pleasure! I’m delighted by this opportunity!

Lyra: I don’t belieeeeeeeeve this…

Keep reading

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1) Bon-Bon: I’m sorry, Black Strawberry, but this isn’t really a good time. Lyra and I are going through a bit of a… Okay, things are terrible between us at the moment. I don’t feel we need anything, or anypony else complicating matters further. There is a shelter in Ponyville. If you haven’t been staying there or have nopony else to call on, I would recommend it over the streets.

Bon-Bon: … I’m sorry. This must seem terribly rude and inconsiderate. I’d just really rather not add another element to this… mess… Things have gotten out of hoof as is.

2) Lyra: My third coltfriend was the soccer player. My second was the… He saved my life once… you know…?

Bon-Bon: I know, Lyra.

3) It’s not like it all happens on the same day.

4) Lyra: I’m a little preoccupied at the moment. Even without the work schedule added in.

Bon-Bon: … Because you work so much more than I do…

Lyra: You know what, Bon-Bon?! I-!

5) I don’t know how to play a guitar. I can only play the sitar a little. And only while it’s laying down; I can’t actually play it while I’m holding it, which makes live performances a little difficult. Nevermind that the song is eighteen minutes long (Edit: Content advisory) and I don’t think I could kept it going the entire time.

?: I’m glad you could both make it. As this concerns both of you I feel it is a necessity.

Bon-Bon: Of course!

Lyra: Sure thing, Doc. Nopony else I’d rather be trapped in a room with against my will than you.

?: Thank you. Once again, I am Doctor Reification. We are here today to continue the discussion our friend Lyra and her style of alcohol consumption-

Keep reading

[Click]

Bon-Bon: Welcome home, Lyra. Enjoy your shift?

Lyra: Ugh… Don’t you have work in the morning?

Bon-Bon: I’ll manage. I hope you didn’t think this was over.

Keep reading

[Doorknob turn]

[LOUD VIBRATION]

Lyra: Ahgh! Ga-ha-hod! My head!

Bon-Bon: Well you really did it this time, Lyra.

Lyra: Go away!

Keep reading

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1) Bon-Bon: That sounds awful. Although…

2) Absolutely! Everypony is invited to Thanksgiving again! Even sexxi-bbz!

3) Oh, Hearthswarming I wouldn’t mind so much. But Nightmare Night is a festival. It’s not technically a holiday so I didn’t get overtime.

And the past is in the past.

4) Well, it wasn’t great, but it was better than it began. So there’s that at least. Thanks!

5) No. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve intentionally omitted specific aspects of the event so as to not attract unwanted attention. I’ve never even used the public name of the thing to avoid the possibility of a post of mine being connected via tags. If you want to learn about it, I can give you a place to start. But if you want to know more or check different sources, you’ll have to research it yourself.

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1) Well now… I’ve never heard it called that before.

2) Bon-Bon: That doesn’t sound right… Even high school students would be back to their studies by then. Who would take those jobs?

3) It didn’t ultimately matter. I worked all night.

4) I got to eat candy, but I didn’t really dress up much.

Yes, the candy was stolen.

5) Bon-Bon: Haha! We showed this to Tootsie before Nightmare Night and she almost started crying about how she didn’t want twigs in her mane! But since we both had to work, she wound up traveling with a group.

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1) Bon-Bon: And say what to them? “I need some help for the next four months and after that you’re out. But hey! If you’re lucky I might hire you back for six months next year!”

Bon-Bon: Nopony if any credibility is going to work for that. At least not for what I could afford to pay them.

2) Too much hand to stand.

3) I haven’t, but I’m not surprised; I hated the first one. The real headtrip is that Lion King 2 was pretty good.

4) I was aware of the general idea of it for a while, but this message got me to look more into it. I found a quote that sums up my feelings pretty well. “It would be absurd if it hadn’t forced people out of their homes for fear of their personal safety.”

For anypony on the side of ethics in game journalism, if that’s what your real concern is, why would you banner behind something that was originally formed to deliberately harass somepony?

For that matter, why care about game journalism at all? I’ve taken it with a grain of salt for most of my life. Some of my favorite games received extremely negative reviews or little publicity, so why should I care what somepony else reports on? They already don’t know what’s good.

If you have some other reason to side with it, I have nothing to say to you.

5) Get with the times.