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1) Oh I know. I’ve seen it. It’s just, you know, fantasy… reality… It’s not that hard to tell the difference, is it?

2) I’d like to hope my evil twin would have better taste than that.

3) No thanks. Not a fan of the monkey paw effect.

4) If you have to ask, you’ll never know.

5) I’m not sorry.

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6) It can happen, certainly. Equestria is a clean place with pretty good medical care, though. If it does begin to form, it can typically be treated quickly before it gets bad.

7) *Was crushed by a 20 foot long sword because you weren’t thinking about how heavy that would be, you inconsiderate prick.*

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Celestia [omitted]. I mean just [omitted] A, dude. Why in the [omitted] would you-? I mean, God!

Look. I don’t know what kind of upper limits you’ve been researching, but I’ve never come into contact with anything near that size! The width of something that long alone-… Death. No question.

I mean, Celestia [omitted]! What the [omitted] do you think our anatomy looks like?!

As far as the maximum on a bear? You can ask Krastos, but I wouldn’t hold your breath on an answer.

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Well, there’s a long answer and a short answer. The short answer is because, that’s what Griffons called us. As for the long answer, well…

Worlds with multiple sentient species don’t just become intellectually advanced all at once. I don’t know that your world keeps track of this sort of thing, because you’re the only ones, but the process in our world is called ascension. It’s not the most popular subject among ponykind because we weren’t the first to ascend. We weren’t even the second.

To be considered an ascended species requires several things. You have to be capable of organized thought exchange, both verbally and in writing, amongst yourselves and other ascended species. You have to be capable of sustaining yourself in an isolated environment indefinitely (a nomadic lifestyle must be a choice, not a requirement). You have to be capable of creating shelter from raw materials and defend yourself from harsh environmental conditions. And I’m sure I’m missing some, but the most difficult is that you must be able to prove that you, or a community of your peers, can protect themselves against a staged attack by a malicious entity.

It’s debated pretty fiercely between dragons and griffons which ascended first, but we definitely came after both. There will always be those that argue, but there’s pretty definitive evidence. As we were hunted by them, griffons also studied us. When pegasus and unicorns first appeared, they observed pegasus manipulating rainfall to yield more substantial wild growth, and reported mild, though varied magical ability in us long before our recorded history began.

Griffons named us unicorns, which in their language at the time (they’ve gone through a few) meant one-horned, and pegasus were called pterippus- which I’m fortunate enough to be able to manually type out, because I can’t even pronounce that. After our ascension began we kept our name, but the pegasus didn’t.

The story goes that a “hero” by the name of Pegasus united or conquered, depending on interpretation, every major pterippus community and changed the entire species’ name to his own. He did some other stuff but I’m not all that into specifics. To that end, pegasus were the first pony species considered to be ascended, though at that time the term had yet to be defined.

Our hornless, terrestrial cousins have an interesting story. Pony roughly means small horse. Earth ponies were so named once unicorns and pegasus started appearing, as a way of further defining them, because we’re all ponies. But when our ascension began, one group of grounded ponies relied on hard work and close ties to the earth. They became what we recognize today as earth ponies.

Meanwhile the other group, fascinated with magic and the desire to harness it, called themselves crystal ponies. They somehow found that crystals were easier to store magic in and harness magic out of than anything else in the world. They even somehow used magic infused into crystals to create the artifact known as the Crystal Heart. When earth, unicorn, and pegasus ponies had to unite in order to survive, timelines show that crystal ponies had no need for outside help. Though the other three had lost contact with them, crystal ponies were already decades ahead of their time through magically-aided technological advancement. At least, so the story goes.

While on the subject, the last species to be considered ascended were cattle. Both goats and sheep are in the process of ascension.

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1) Yes. Yes I have.

2) Oh! I got one! What if you asked an interesting “what if” question wherein the answer might have some significance?

3) You were misinformed. The only time something even remotely like that would happen is while nursing.

4) You know, I never played the original.

5) Temptation. “Hey! These 7 games, all together worth 15 bits, are selling for just 1!” Guess what? You didn’t save anything. You just spent 1 bit.

6) Not even gonna try deciphering this one.

7) Sure, sure. Plenty legal. But being successful at it has a variety of factors at work. No pony wants to hear an amateur lyre. Steel Pedal Guitar would catch folks attention. Guitar if you can sing like an angel or employ sick technique. Violin if you’ve got purpose or presence. Basically, the more contemporary the instrument, the better you gotta be.

If I could get good at sitar I’d have a shot at it, but most street performers work in Canterlot. I’d all but have to move back there.

One last one.

8) She lives here while her parents are traveling. Lyra. You tell me. What about them? I cannot. Usually duration.

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1) That’s just more reason to do it! I’ll have somepony to watch over me while I act a fool!

2) Given what took place today, that’s a lot more unsettling than it would have been before.

3) I’ve heard all the ones from 2 too much. I’m gonna pick Gemini Mare. Spark Mare as a close second. Honorable mention to Dust Mare for not sounding like a regular stage. It sounds like a fortress/late game level.

4) Love you, baby! /Mung Daal

5) Good thing I have a knack for fighting destiny, huh?

6) Not watching it.

7) They aren’t just skimming some sort of excess love off the surface, if there even is such a thing. They take love. And they take a lot of love. It drains their prey of that which gives us purpose. Even in the most sinister of souls, love is what gives us a natural reason to go on. Even if it’s a love of something wicked.

If you’re asking why they don’t show some sort of restraint and only take a little, I have a theory but no real evidence. The single study I’ve seen defines concentrated love as a substance that throws the subject into a sort of euphoric state. They feel elevated beyond anything they’ve previously experienced and they want more.

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1) Er… Uh… The… owing kind. Clearly.

2) That sounds lovely! It’s always nice to visit friends!

3) Keratin, evidently. I was never very good at biology, but unless I’ve missed my mark, the closest approximation to unicorn horns would be rhinoceros horns. Don’t hold me to that.

4) I tend to not respond, but concepts like this are why I rarely get too close to anypony.

5) I’ve seen a few posts from it reblogged here and there from other tumblrs. Seems alright.

6) Fear? I mean, I do avoid it. I’m sorry it happens when it does, particularly to my friends. But fear? Zero.

7) Everything judges everything else on everything about everything. It’s not a matter of whether or not somepony is racist; it’s to what extent. And even that can’t be accurately measured.

8) Just the kinda stuff you think about when you’re lying awake in the dark for the umpteenth hour in a row. Beats worrying about what might be out there, anyway.

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1) Sorry. Even my imagination has its limits. I can’t even picture that.

2) Context?

3) We’ve been over this, but to clarify, no.

4) I don’t have an opinion.

5) They retract into the body for protection, same as the other stallion “naughty bit.”

6) Nah. Upbeat tune, sure, but the lyrics are a little dark/morbid in places.

This song holds a pretty special place in my heart. Somepony sang it to me once when I was younger, with slightly altered lyrics.

7) Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves with things that may never happen.

… I think it would be a good day, though.

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1) Probably Snips. That colt is unpredictable. Although, I could see Scoots backing up her bark with some bite.

2) I don’t have any meat.

3) Sure. But not anymore.

4) I’ve never heard of that.

5) Well, I’m glad my interests can amuse you. I play on Ponytector. I guess for you that would be Protector. And actually, I recently made myself in the game!

Heartstrings! Street Justice/Ninjitsu Stalker! I’m… I’m not really a Ninja, I just wanted a secondary that had fear protection and I already have a character with Willpower.

Started off as a Villain so I can unlock Demonic/Eye of the Magus early off. Then I’ll switch to Hero. Maybe Vigilante.

But yeah, if anypony wants to play with me, my global is @Demon Shell! I don’t play all the time, though.

6) Because you said unpleased instead of displeased.

7) I’m afraid the name doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry.

8) You’re probably looking at this, and expecting us ponies to have the same setup. Keep in mind our entire legs are, at scale, about three times the circumference of a horse in your world. Our sole doesn’t take up that much of our hoof and the frog is much larger. That’s what you’d be gripping the door with.

Are you done questioning me about my own anatomy yet?

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1) Really? All the things you humans know about us; all the perverse stuff you write and draw and you don’t even know something basic like that?

Our “naughty bits” mesh when not in use. Male sheath retracts into the body and the left and right walls of the opening close together the same way the female opening and anus do. The mesh is almost perfect on it’s own and fur coat covers the rest. That’s it.

2) Who now?

3) I’ll have to come back to it later again. I have a commission to do!

4) Yeah, I don’t think it would have mattered. You preformed a successful hug anyway.