Bon-Bon: You’re awful quiet since we left.

Lyra: I… don’t really know what to say.

Bon-Bon: Did you at least enjoy yourself?

Lyra: Of course! Yes! Absolutely! I’m just… you sang so well.

Bon-Bon: I should hope so. I’d been practicing that song for the last two months. Surprised I didn’t spoil things by humming it around the house or something.

Lyra: No, I was… completely…

Bon-Bon: I know… you don’t feel the same way about me that I do for you. You probably never will. But I want you to at least know how much you mean to me. How much having you here means to me. And one day when you leave-
Lyra: Bon-Bon I’m not-
Bon-Bon: I’m not naive, Lyra. I know you’re not going to stay here forever. Ponyville is like a vacation to you. A hideaway. It’s a nice place to get away from it all. You get to ignore things a bit. But one day you’re going to get restless and… you’re going to go back. Back to Canterlot or back to the bustle of some other city-I don’t know which. When that happens, I want you to know that I’ll still be here. No matter how long you’re gone. No matter what happens.

Lyra: I… don’t…

Bon-Bon: There’s nothing for you to say. I just want you to be happy.

Lyra: I just want you to be happy.

Bon-Bon: Then maybe one day we’ll both be happy.

Bon-Bon went up there to sing a song. Which honestly surprised me. I didn’t think she would. But she said this was the whole reason why she brought me here. With her taste in music I have no idea what she’s going to sing. She is very into pony and very not into human.

Weirder part is that things seem to be winding down, like this is the last song of the night. Did she set this up special or something? They’re messing with the lighting. I mean, of course she’s an incredible singer, but I never saw her as a closing act.

Alright, I need to shut up. It’s starting.

Oh [omitted]. I recognize this…

Lyra: Haha. You know, out of context, a lot of these aren’t even obviously gay.

Bon-Bon: Well I said I didn’t know. Are you sure you want to do this?

Lyra: Sure! You brought me here. They can listen to me caterwaul for a while. Now clear the way. I need space to move for this.

Bon-Bon: Okay! Good luck! And have fun!

Lyra: … At first I was afraid. I was petrified!

[Applause]

Lyra: Okay. So I think I figured out it.

Bon-Bon: Figured what out?

Lyra: Why I’d never been here. Never heard of it. It’s a gay bar.

Bon-Bon: It is not.

Lyra: We caught the tail end of I Kissed a Girl and just sat through I’m Coming Out.

Bon-Bon: That’s just a coincidence.

Lyra: Oh really? Not up on human songs, are you? Never heard this one then?

Bon-Bon: No.

Lyra: Two seconds for the lyrics to kick in… Still going to deny it?
Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia… I’ve been coming here for like two years…

Lyra: Now you’re going to pretend like you didn’t know?

Bon-Bon: Honestly I didn’t! I’m not trying to embarrass you! I want you to have a good time! I wouldn’t have brought you here if I knew!

Lyra: Oh I don’t care. At least there’s not a lot of ponies here.

Lyra: And here I thought I’d been to every bar, diner, and restaurant in Ponyville. Door leading straight into a basement? This place is a real hole-in-the-wall. Also possibly in violation of some zoning regulations, being in a residential area.

Bon-Bon: Everything’s fine. Stop being nervous. You babble when you’re nervous.

Lyra: I… I’m not nervous… So, we just…?

Bon-Bon: Yup. Just sit at a table. Somepony will come over in a minute.

[Applause]

Lyra: So, the stage. Local talent?

Bon-Bon: It’s a karaoke bar, so something like that.

Lyra: Oh. Huh. I didn’t think Ponyville had one of these. And there’s quite a few couples here. Guess I’m just out of the loop.

Bon-Bon: Guess so.

Waitress: Hello there! How’s the evening treating you? What can I get you started with?

Bon-Bon: Get up. Here. Put this on. We’re going out.

Lyra: Is this my black dress?

Bon-Bon: Yes. Dry cleaned and pressed. You should really take better care of your things. It was wadded up in the corner.

Lyra: Why am I putting this on? And where are we going?

Bon-Bon: When you started staying here over five years ago, we had an agreement. I didn’t hold you down. I didn’t twist your hoof.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I-
Bon-Bon: I didn’t even count that agent pony because you only went out with him once. Now it’s been at least a year since you broke up with Krastos. I didn’t press the matter. I didn’t harass you over it. I gave you all the time in the world to cope. But you’ve had time enough and a promise is a promise.

Lyra: I’m really not-
Bon-Bon: “If things don’t work out in my next relationship, I’ll go on a date with you.” I’m paraphrasing, but something like that.

Lyra: I-I mean, I work tomorrow.

Bon-Bon: You work night tomorrow. You’ll be fine. Now no more excuses. Get up. We leave in five. You can walk beside me or I can drag you by your tail.

Lyra: I… Ugh… Alright just, make it somewhere there’s not a lot of ponies! Like I don’t get enough rumors…