Ribbon: You can’t be serious! You’re going to risk Tootsie winding up like… like that?!

Lyra: For the record, this is why I hate you.

Champagne: Ribbon, you love me, don’t you?

Ribbon: Ugh. Yes, but-

Champagne: Would you love me as much if our marriage had been prearranged?

Ribbon: … Uh-

Champagne: If we force Tootsie into this, she will hate it and resent us for the rest of her life. I’m confident that she will make the right decision. And that decision will be whatever she chooses. It is our place to guide her to a better future; not drag her kicking and screaming.

Ribbon: I… suppose so.

Lyra: How adult of you.

Ribbon: You are still to stay away from my daughter!

Champagne: Ah yes. Lyra. How is that bear friend of yours?

Lyra: We… actually haven’t spoken in a while…

Bon-Bon: You never told me that…

Champagne: Sorry to hear. When last we spoke I believe you were working in early education. I found that somewhat strange, considering how… crass your language can become. You must have considerable control over your lexicon.

Lyra: Well, yes. Of course.

Champagne: Be sure to exercise that control when in my daughter’s presence.

Ribbon: No!

Lyra: Sir, yessir!

Ribbon: I will not allow that wretched thing near my daughter!

Champagne: Bon-Bon, my apologies for the brevity of this visit. We should gather again soon. Perhaps during the holidays?

Bon-Bon: Certainly!

Ribbon: Are you listening to me?!

Champagne: We will take our leave for now. Well wishes.

Lyra: Have a good one!

Bon-Bon: Take care!

Ribbon: Are you ignoring me?!

Champagne: Of course not, my dear. Shall we talk about it on the way home?

[Door close]

Lyra: … Wait a minute. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Ribbon treating you better?

Bon-Bon: Let it go.

Champagne: Tootsie, have a seat.

Liza: Yes sir.

Champagne: Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Your mother and I will not support you financially forever. We couldn’t if we wanted to. And we don’t. We have meticulously plotted out your course, from education to business owner; president of a major floral production corporation. You have a very bright future ahead of you. Your mother and I have assured that.

Liza: Yes sir…

Champagne: But… None of that amounts to anything if it’s not what you want.

Liza: S-sir?

Champagne: You will not abandon the path we have set for you. Not yet. There are opportunities available now that cannot be wasted by indecision. You will continue your studies, as we have assigned, until you graduate from high school. After that, the future is yours to decide. The only thing I require is that you stand on your own four hooves. I will not have my only daughter scraping to make ends meet. Do you understand… Liza?

Liza: Yes sir! Thank you, daddy!

Champagne: I love you. Now run along and play.

Bon-Bon: … Picking out the asks for today?

Lyra: Well, I was gonna, but somepony sent me a video. I should probably watch it first. It’s a video game, so…

Bon-Bon: Right. I’ll go get a snack or something.

Lyra: Hmm… Unarmed. Must be using that ring…

Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia, he’s here!

Lyra: What? Who’s-?

Bon-Bon: Tootsie’s father!

Lyra: What?! What do we-?

Bon-Bon: Hello! Champagne! Ribbon! It’s good to see you! Welcome! Ah…

Liza: D-dad?

Champagne: Bon-Bon, I would like to speak with my daughter alone.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Lyra, come on.

Lyra: But, he can’t- This is our-

Bon-Bon: And-he-could-buy-it. Move-your-hooves.

Champagne: Dear, that includes you.

Ribbon: W-What?

Champagne: I believe you’ve already had time to speak with Tootsie.

Ribbon: I-… Alright.

[Door closes]

Lyra: … By your own husband.

Bon-Bon: Lyra!

Ribbon: You are filth.

Lyra: Get out of the way.

Ribbon: What are you-? Are you eavesdropping with your phone?

Lyra: Voice recognition program. You don’t want to see what they’re saying?

Ribbon: … Scoot over.

Lyra: You lying, two-faced, disillusioned, irresponsible, ungrateful, overpriced piece of undisposable rubbish!

Ribbon: How dare you speak to me that way?! You’re-You’re nothing more than an utter waste upon civilized company!

Lyra: The most civilized company you’ve ever “embraced” was some dirty pony behind a Hoof and Hock!

Ribbon: Did you just-?!

Lyra: You bet I did!

Bon-Bon: Girls!

Ribbon: You rancid, disease-ridden vermin!

Bon-Bon: That’s enough! Ribbon, this is about you not appreciating the lengths I go through for you! And Lyra! What the heck?! I thought you were supposed to help!

Lyra: Sorry. I got carried away.

Ribbon: In a perfect world, you’d be carried away!

Lyra: What was that, you-?!

Bon-Bon: Stop it! Stop it! [Sigh] Ribbon, I’ve spent most of my life helping you. It wasn’t so long ago that you owed more money than you could afford to pay back. I know you haven’t forgotten what those days were like.

Ribbon: Of course not, Bonnie. You know I am forever grateful for your generosity. And I know it’s not just about the money, but the timing. That’s why I’ve been paying you to look after Tootsie.

Lyra: Instead of what? Expecting it to be done for free?

Ribbon: Instead of hiring a professional to work out of our home. Does she really need to be here for this?

Bon-Bon: Yes. And you shouldn’t need to hire anypony to help raise your own foal. At least not full time. She’s your responsibility. Lyra was right, you didn’t even know her age. That is not excusable.

Ribbon: I work. I study. And when I’m done I want some time to unwind. Champagne and I give Tootsie everything she could ever want. We’ve meticulously planned out every financial hurdle for her future. She will grow up to be twice as successful as I or you will ever be. I give her my all! Why should she need anything more?

Bon-Bon: Because your all is just money! She needs your time!

Ribbon: I don’t have time for time!

Lyra: Too busy sending innocent ponies to prison.

Ribbon: For your information, you uncouth peon, I am a Public Defender. I’m the one trying to keep poor ponies out of prison.

Lyra: So you’re defending criminals.

Ribbon: Insufferable! Depraved-!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon! Lyra, I swear to Celestia-!

Lyra: Alright! I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: If you really feel that somepony should look after your child, then you need to be more appreciative. Not just throw money in my face.

Ribbon: I cared enough to go out of my way and search for somepony for you to spend your days with!

Lyra: That wasn’t for her! That was for you! You treat your own sister like an object to accessorize and boost your social standing!

Ribbon: That’s absurd!

Bon-Bon: But that’s exactly how I feel, Ribbon. You’re not helping me.

Ribbon: I’m trying to elevate you away from that… thing. She’s toxic! Even she knows it!

Bon-Bon: She’s my friend! She’s helped me more than you ever have! And she actually shows me she’s grateful!

Ribbon: I see. I’m sorry you feel that way, sister. However, this whole ordeal has proved to me just how toxic this environment is. I’m afraid Tootsie won’t be returning.

Lyra: Her name is Liza!

Ribbon: She is my daughter! I birthed her! I planned her future! And I will not hear of her referred to by such a… common name! Go fetch- Ugh, I’ll do it myself! Tootsie! Get your things we are leaving!

Liza: No!

Ribbon: Tootsie! H-how long have you-?

Liza: I listened to the whole thing! You’re not taking me away from my role model!

Ribbon: Role model? It’s you isn’t it?! You corrupted her with your ignorance! I told you to stay away from my-!

Liza: It’s Miss Cheerilee!

Ribbon: Who… Who is?

Bon-Bon: Her teacher.

Lyra: You’d know that if you were ever around.

Ribbon: Tootsie, my dear, don’t be ridiculous. What about your uncle?

Liza: I don’t want to grow flowers!

Ribbon: Bu-But your cutie mark! The flower farm! Your uncle is giving it to you when he retires! You’ll have your own flower named after you! You’ll be rich! A household name!

Liza: Miss Cheerilee says that cutie marks are open to interpretation. And that your job doesn’t have to match your cutie mark.

Ribbon: That’s preposterous!

Bon-Bon: Ribbon, your cutie mark is a bow! You’re an attorney!

Ribbon: Ah-… I… [Pause] We will discuss this at length with your father, when he has the time. For now I need you to-… [Pause] Very well. You may remain here for the moment. But don’t be surprised when your father comes around and drags you back home once he finds out. Tootsie, please behave. Bon-Bon, a good evening to you.

[Door close]

Lyra: That took a lot of guts, to stand up to your own mother.

Liza: [Sniff]

Bon-Bon: Oh, Liza. Come here. Shhh. She’ll come around.

Bon-Bon: It’s good to be back. Minuette’s place is nice, but it doesn’t really have the charm of home.

Lyra: Huh, yeah! I’d hate to ever have to leave this place! Ah haha…

Bon-Bon: … So, what now?

Lyra: … I don’t know. I still want to tell your sister off.

Bon-Bon: Please don’t.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, she has no respect for you. She can’t treat you like that!

Bon-Bon: Nothing you say is going to change that. It’s just going to make things more hostile.

Lyra: Have you ever tried? Have you ever tried pushing her back? All she does is manipulate and attack you! You’re more then in the right to attack her negligent flank back! She has responsibilities too! In fact, she has a huge one that she’s been shrugging off on you! She doesn’t even know how old her own daughter is!

Bon-Bon: She doesn’t plan. She doesn’t think ahead. It’s better that I do take care of Tootsie. She’d just screw it up.

Lyra: If that’s what you believe, then she needs to know that.

Bon-Bon: I don’t know…

Lyra: That’s why I’m going to help you.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m sorry!

Bon-Bon: No, you had every right to be upset. I let my emotions get pent up and I took it out on you.

Lyra: No! I was so used to having full control of my tumblr that you posting in my absence scared me. Plus I was a little embarrassed…

Bon-Bon: What I said was deliberately in attempt to make you feel guilty, and it was wrong.

Lyra: And I was trying to make you feel bad! I was wrong too!

Minuette: Hey! That’s great! You were both wrong! Super! But can you do this somewhere else? I’m kinda with a patient right now.

Rose: Yeah! I don’t have all day!

Lyra: Sorry. Let’s go home.

Bon-Bon: Of course. Thank you, Minuette, for letting me spend the night.

Minuette: Sure thing, Bon-Bon! But no seriously, I have other patients after this.

Bon-Bon: Right, leaving now.

Rose: Finally.

Minuette: Now where were we?

[Drill revving up]

Rose: The horror!

Lyra: -ied to me! Lied to my face!

Bon-Bon: I know! I’m-!

Lyra: It’s a breech of trust!

Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!

Lyra: Sorry about what, Bon-Bon?! There’s so much! Sorry about what?! You lied! You withheld information-! All that wasted effort trying to act civil to that polished turd! The next time I see your sister I’m going to tell her exactly where where she can shove it!

Bon-Bon: Lyra no!

Lyra: You told the whole [omitted] internet-!

Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!

Lyra: -Told in confidence! Taken out of context!

Bon-Bon: I didn’t mean to!

Lyra: And then-! And then you tried to cover it up by hacking my XKit blocker! You blocked one of my own tags! Then you blocked somepony else’s! Were they trying to tell me the truth, Bon-Bon?! Huh?!

Bon-Bon: I was just-!

Lyra: How many times did somepony send a message and you intercepted it before I could see?!

Bon-Bon: I-

Lyra: What’s wrong?! Nothing to say?! You just couldn’t stop yourself before!

Bon-Bon: Why don’t you just come out and say it?! You mentioned everything else! Why don’t you just say what you’re really so upset about?!

Lyra: What?

Bon-Bon: You don’t like me! You can’t stand that I still have feelings for you!

Lyra: That has nothing to-!

Bon-Bon: Yes it does! You said you’d date Gilda! You know what that means?! [Sniff] It means you’re not into older guys! You’re not into guys at all! You just don’t like me!

Lyra: That’s because you’re like-!

Bon-Bon: I don’t want to be like a sister to you! [Sob] I never wanted to be your sister! Why can’t you just love me?! What’s wrong with me?! … [Sniff] You went out of your way-… Out of your way to never give me a chance! [Sob] And now it’s too late! [Sobbing]

Lyra: … Bon-Bon, I-…

Bon-Bon: Don’t touch me! Keep your stupid website!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, wait!

[BLAM!]

Lyra: Bon-Bon!

[Rushed door opening] [Fading hoofsteps]

Blues Noteworthy…

Keep reading

???: Bonnie! Sister! Good afternoon! Good to see you!

Bon-Bon: Hello, Ribbon. Why the fanfare? Liza! Your mom’s here!

Ribbon: What? Can a mare not be pleased to see her sister well?

Bon-Bon: Not usually, no.

Ribbon: I’m sorry. Is this not a good time? I thought we might speak for a bit since…

Bon-Bon: Since Lyra went to Canterlot for the weekend. But you already knew that, didn’t you.

Ribbon: Guilty as charged! Ah haha! Hello Tootsie! MmmMM! Go wait in the carriage please. Such a good filly! Ah ha… [Clearing throat] Yes, well. Since I knew you’d be alone this weekend, I thought “What an excellent time this would be for my dear, dear sister to make a new friend!”

Bon-Bon: You didn’t.

Ribbon: They’re waiting behind the carriage!

Bon-Bon: Rebecca! You brought some stranger to my house?! Get rid of him!

Ribbon: Her! It’s a her! I know you like mares so it’s a filly this time!

Bon-Bon: Get rid of them!

Ribbon: Bonnie, if you’d just-

Bon-Bon: NOW!

Ribbon: [Sigh] Very well, Bonnie. As you wish.

Bon-Bon: [Incomprehensible muttering] Don’t believe this…

Ribbon: There. I hope you’re pleased with yourself. She wasn’t exactly easy to find. Somepony, a single mare your age no less, willing to come all this way for somepony she’s never met.

Bon-Bon: That’s because it’s ludicrous! What’s wrong with you?!

Ribbon: Wrong with me? I have a ten-year old daughter and my big sister has yet to be in a serious relationship! A mare of your stature living with a-a roommate! All that I can do to dance around the subject in conversation!

Bon-Bon: Excuse me?! I work forty-plus hours a week and still spend more time with your daughter than you do!

Ribbon: Exactly! You could be the name in confections for all of Equestria! Instead you waste away in this-this three bedroom/two bath outhouse with that-that vagabond, gypsy… Drifter!

Bon-Bon: … What did you say?

Ribbon: She won’t stay here, Bonnie. It doesn’t matter how you feel about her! She won’t stay here forever! It’s not in her nature. Not in her lower-class upbringing! She’s a-

Bon-Bon: I swear to Celestia-if you call her a street urchin one more time.

Ribbon: You’re better than this! Better than her!

Bon-Bon: Get out of my house!

Ribbon: Does she even love you back-?

Bon-Bon: I SAID GET OUT!

[BLAM!] [Locking mechanism]

Bon-Bon: … [Sniff] … [Sob] … [Sniff]…

Lyra: Exactly! I have no idea if it’s still happening or not! I have no asks! But do I have no asks because no pony has anything to send me or are none of the messages getting through?! It’s maddening and-!

Tootsie: Excuse me! I have an announcement to make.

Lyra: Oh…?

Bon-Bon: Of course, dear. What is it?

Tootsie: From now on I will be going by the name, Liza Doolots. I will not be answering to Toosie Flute. So if you could please refer to me as Liza Doolots I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Lyra: … Wha-?

Bon-Bon: Of course, Liza! I think that sounds splendid!

Lyra: Uh… Yeah, Too-… Liza! That’s, uh, ballin’! Crackerjack. Cool…

Liza: Thank you!

Bon-Bon: … I blame you for this.

Lyra: What?! I didn’t even do anything!

Bon-Bon: Can’t wait to have this conversation with my sister.

Lyra: It’s not my fault this time!

B: You can’t do anything about it anyway. Maybe nopony can.

B: Nightmare Moon was a mere ten generations ago, yet it was reduced to legend. Myth. Chrysalis, Discord, Sombra, Tirek- Ponies might be aware of Tartarus, but if they really knew what it housed? And all that pales in comparison.

B: Fear. Fear breeds panic. Panic breeds fear. And it all just makes things easier for them. Fear gives them opportunity. Panic and it’s already too late. Too late for you. Too late for your family. Too late for your friends.

B: Control, sedation, peace- Peace above knowledge. Peace above fairness. Peace above happiness, if necessary. It’s the only way we’ve slowed them this much.

B: Altering minds? We should be so lucky. Those involved are completely aware. Struggling for an eternity until there’s no will left to fight. Then watching in horror. Helpless against forces beyond their control, without so much as the strength to call out. To end their own suffering. To prevent the suffering they will soon cause.

B: And yet you ask, like a brave little foal. As though knowledge will somehow protect you. And I say to you again…You have no idea what fear is. If you did, it would already be too late.

Lyranne, i was looking at my tumblr activity, and saw some chump liked this post. And i was like “wtf is this post again? Some rarijack nonsense….” and i LOOKED through it once…then i was like…wait…wAIT WAIT OH! WIAT IS THAT

LYRA IS THIS YOUR LONG-LOST FATHER?!!?

… Well?

B: I didn’t meet your father until after he joined the guard, so I don’t know his natural coat color. But apart from his body being recovered after the attack, he was a unicorn. That’s an earth pony. I’m sorry, that pony must be related to some other Lyra.

Well now wait a minute. My parents must have had family, right? What if he’s an uncle or something?

B: Hmm… From the few conversations we had, your father never mentioned his family. Never spoke with your mother… I suppose it’s worth looking into. Not like I have anything else to do anymore.

[A dulled roar, as if within a massive crowd.]

Lyra: Okay. And you said I could post this too, right?

B: Sure.

Lyra: Alright! Take it away! Magic disabling! Go!

B: The notion of suppressing spell casting has been the subject of much research for nearly as long as spell casting has been around. There hasn’t been any real effective method up to this point. But it seems crystal ponies have created one. And it’s quite elegant. They used spell threading to weave together a complex Counterspell that sticks to the unicorn’s horn.

B: Now, a Counterspell wall isn’t a new concept. But crystal ponies took it so much further. They created a spell wall that seeks out sources of magic and wraps them in a Counterspell while leaving the rest of the subject unaffected.

B: It’s absolutely remarkable. If the Counterspell wrapped up the entire unicorn, then this would leave the subject in an unpleasant condition not far removed from being at a high altitude and breathing in thinner air. But because it targets only the source of magic- it’s the perfect solution to unwanted spell use for a public gathering. It could even be repurposed as a pacifying tool during riots or further, a non-fatal instrument of war.

B: That they created something so incredible such a short time after their return is simply astounding.

1) Bon-Bon: Well, thank you but they always got in the way.

B: Hate to break this to you, but somepony already tried the whole puppy thing. Doomed to failure from the start, of course. But as far as ludicrous conquest plans go, it wound up being quite threatening. Before it was all over they completely took over Hoofington; and the population there didn’t even know it.

2) Yes. In fact, there’s quite a few ponies that look nearly identical to one another. Strange phenomenon that has something to do with near-perfect genetic match-ups going back to common ancestors.

I was at the royal wedding. But during the attack I spent most of my time running around the streets trying to get ponies to safety. She told me about it after the fact, but Professor Lyra (inactive) was mind-controlled.

Older followers might remember that Professor Lyra was the one that gave Krastos his present home in Ponyville, after she moved to Canterlot.

Lyra: Before we begin, I’d like to welcome back S and thank him for finding time in his busy schedule to come on down and field a question for us. Thank you, S! It’s been a while!

S: And inversely, I would like to apologize for having rescheduled this appointment more than once. I believe you’ve been holding on to this question for a few days now.

Lyra: No trouble at all! Always happy to have you!

S: Pleasantries aside, I’d like to dive right into this. Firstly, there’s been some- while I wouldn’t yet call it miscommunication (we’ll get to that part later), critical details left missing from our present situation. You see, griffons did not suddenly stop using ponies as a source of nourishment. Ascension is neither an equal process nor can it function independently of the many other circumstances required for a species to grow into an organized society.

S: There have long since been “wild” ponies living within the borders of the griffons’ claimed lands. Though not a primary food source by any modern means, they were consumed on a semi-regular basis, dependent on the income of the family unit in question. For most, it was a treat; something to be savored on special occasions.

S: The ponies themselves had every bit the potential for intelligence that we take for granted, but without the downtime necessary to create or maintain a society. The unfortunate incident often cited on this webpage was the drastic result of a civilization (griffons) facing the extinction of an exotic, upper-class food source (ponies). As the upper-class, who so often control who is in power, were the primary consumers of this food source, it should take little imagination to discern a motive for those involved.

S: This brings us to the aforementioned miscommunication. Of which there have been several. Who exactly is at fault is not so easily discerned. Ignoring the fault of wildlife researchers for failing to properly gauge the rate of the local population’s decline, of hunters for remaining silent despite clear signs of said decline, processors for leaving hunters contractually obligated to deliver a product, and even the public for forcing such a high demand on the processors, there remain many mysteries.

S: There has yet to be any clear line of communication between any griffon leader and those involved in the trading of narcotics for Equestrian ponies. This will undoubtably leave a dark spot in griffon history, considering the executions that took place. Which brings me to my next point.

S: Griffons do not hate Equestrian ponies. To hate something requires putting enough thought and effort into something to return with a negative conclusion. Griffons just don’t generally care about Equestrian ponies. The key word being “generally”.

S: The riotous backlash and executions, some of which were public, was not the result of a society’s outrage at an eliminated food supply. It was retribution for feeding the public daughters and sons- mothers and fathers. Rather than being fed animals, griffons had been eating, as the word originates from their tongue, “people”. The whole of the griffon lands cried out in ravenous blind fury, “How dare you turn us into monsters?”

S: The situation, as it stands at present, is that pony meat has not only been absent in griffon society for years, it’s actually been outlawed. In the few cases in which any piece of a pony’s body is discovered and deemed to be within the possession of another individual, having been consumed or not, it is treated as bodily desecration in a court of law.