Aura: Oh that’s right, you don’t have a big sister.
Ruby: When you’re younger you want to spend time with your big sister, but she doesn’t have time for you. Then, when you get older, your big sister wants to spend time with you. But now you’re the one that’s busy, so she gets on your nerves.
Tootsie: Oh… That sounds sad… Wait, what if she just doesn’t want to watch puppets?
Aura: Tch-eah right! Who wouldn’t want to watch puppets?
Bon-Bon: So… what is this called again?
Lyra: Fluttershy calls it an “Animal Sanctuary“.
Bon-Bon: It’s… kinda just one big zoo enclosure. Only without the enclosure. Wouldn’t the animals just, you know, eat each other?
Lyra: I think that’s the point?
Bon-Bon: There aren’t any dangerous animals here, like a hippopotamus, are there?
Lyra: I don’t aim to find out.
Bon-Bon: Good call, let’s get out of here.
Bon-Bon: Come on, Lyra. Lyra: Nope.
Bon-Bon: Lyra. Lyra: Nope.
Bon-Bon: Lyra, be reasonable! Lyra: You didn’t see that look in Pinkie Pie’s eyes, Bon-Bon! She’s a desperate mare driven to the brink! I ain’t goin’ out there!
Bon-Bon: Oh for pony’s sake… I’m going out with or without you.
Lyra: Just gonna sit here. Completely still in case Pinkie looks in the window.
[Pause]
Lyra: Hey Simple, how’s it going? No, boy, this is a bad time for face lickums. Not in the nose! NOOOOO~!
Bon-Bon: I can’t believe you didn’t want to go to the art exhibition.
Lyra: I can’t believe Princess Flurry Heart buried herself in a mound of stuffed animals. You’d think the future heir to the Crystal Empire would have guards with her, like, 24/7.
Bon-Bon: Don’t change the subject, I thought you loved art!
Lyra: Come to think of it, does Cadance need an heir? She’s a pegasus-turned-alicorn. Is she immortal? I always just kinda assumed Twilight isn’t.
Bon-Bon: Lyra!
Lyra: Whaaat? The exhibit? It’s just a bunch of minimalist post-modern crap anyway. Art is all up to interpretation, but it still has to have substance. It’s nothing more than a bunch of hacks trying to get famous.
Bon-Bon: Well that’s rude. I had a good time.
Lyra: They serve food there?
Bon-Bon: No. Lyra: Garbage!
Bon-Bon: Is that… Granny Smith chasing Trixie?
Lyra: Heh heh, yeah.
Bon-Bon: Shouldn’t we, you know, help her?
Lyra: Mare, if you did something to cheese off Granny Smith that bad, you deserve what’s coming.
Bon-Bon: Hmm… How long has this been going on?
Lyra: Ah like four minutes. Bulk Biceps is out there too.
Bon-Bon: Oh, he’s a big guy.
Lyra: Yeah, that’s the real reason I ain’t goin’ out there.
Bon-Bon: Can’t blame you.
Lyra: You know, just… hanging out with Changelings at a party, eh heh heh… Nothin’ awkward about this…
Bon-Bon: Of course it isn’t! It’s refreshing to spend some time with Changelings and not have to punch them in the face, haha.
Pronotum: Yeah… That really hurt…
Bon-Bon: Oh gosh… You were one of them?
Elytra: One of them?
Lyra: Gettin’ awkward again…
Pronotum: No no. It’s okay. We’re past this. You did you. We did we.
Bon-Bon: Yeah. Pronotum: Yeah…
Elytra: Seriously though how many Changelings have you punched?
Lyra: Think I’m just gonna…. mosey on home. psst remember to give the password if you want me to unlock the door Ah ha ha! Bye now!
Bon-Bon: Too far, Lyra! Too far!
Lyra: Oh and the honey from the shower faucet was perfectly fine!
Bon-Bon: That was brief! I can’t sit on the toilet all day! I have work to do!
Lyra: It’s Saturday and the slower half of the year, don’t give me that crap.
Bon-Bon: Oh you’re going to get something when this passes!
Lyra: Just remember to flush every so often! HA! HA! HA!
Lyra: So I had just finished eating a cookie and I had to sneeze. So I sneezed through my mouth and I looked in the napkin and there was this bright crimson red and for just a moment I was all “Oh no! Bon-Bon’s killed me!“ And then I remembered it was a red velvet cookie I ate.
Bon-Bon: Geez, Lyra. It’s just a prank war. Nothing to lose your head over. By the way, you may want to forgo showering for the foreseeable future.
Lyra: Oh yeah? How about I just use your shower? Hmm? Checkmate!
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Couldn’t lead her along any easier if you gave me a leash.
a nsa agent in a suit looking through my laptop camera: she’s on her phone…….. our data shows that she’s got tumblr open on her laptop but she has tumblr open on her phone………. double check her browser?
some nerd hired straight out of college: *types rapidly* she’s definitely got tumblr open on her laptop
the nsa agent, softly: so why is she looking at it on her phone…..
Bon-Bon: Don’t mind me. Just leaving this here. For someone.
Lyra: I come to a party to socialize, eat, and have fun. Not to work.
Bon-Bon: Lyra, why do you always do this?
Lyra: Do what? Complain about something stupid?
Bon-Bon: Complain about something when you had fun. You were laughing, and smiling, and having fun. The decorating was fun! All those things you came for you did while helping somepony decorate that massive foyer she inherited. You got to help somepony and enjoy yourself at the same time! What more could anypony ask for on Hearth’s Warming Eve?
Lyra: … Nothing… Though technically, it is after midnight.
Lyra: We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! But-it’s-clearly-marked-so-we-already-know-who-it’s-from.
[Paper ripping]
Lyra: Look! It’s a letter from our friends! Mostly.
Bon-Bon: Mostly?! That’s a letter from Princess Twilight!
Lyra: I’m just kidding! Mostly. We’re invited to a Hearth’s Warming party at Twilight’s Palace! There will be food and decorations-
Bon-Bon: Actually, that says decorating.
Lyra: I’m sure it’s just a typo. So yeah! That was pretty cool. Not a bad day!
Bon-Bon: Are you sure you didn’t want to stay, especially with word that everypony is on their way back from the Changeling Kingdom? I’m sure Princess Celestia would have liked to hear your speech much more than an imposter. Lyra: She knows where we stand. Besides, it’s better if the Elements don’t know about our involvement when we can help it. Plus, I kinda like the idea of Raindrops being celebrated as a big hero that saved all of Equestria. Bon-Bon: Ha, she certainly deserves it after the courage she displayed.
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Quite an eventful few days. Lyra: Yeah. Feels like it was way longer. Ugh… Bon-Bon: Is your side alright? Lyra: No worse than Vinyl, probably. Did they get you any? Bon-Bon: Just a little dusty from when they blew the pillar up. Lyra: Lucky.
[Pause, Light breeze]
Lyra: B? B: [Deep breathing] Lyra: B! Where have you been?! All Tartarus was breaking loose in Ponyville and Canterlot! We needed your help and you were gone! B: Where…? I… was in the Crystal Empire… FIGHTING A [omitted] VOLTRON DRAGON MADE OF CHANGELINGS! [Deep breathing]
Bon-Bon: Uh… How did that go? B: Unsatisfactory.
[Violent gust of wind]
Raindrops: I’M NOT A DOG! Bedbug: Where did she-?! Ladybug: Up there! Raindrops: I’M A WONDERBOLT-! Bedbug: Ooof-! [Loud crash]
Ladybug: Hah! You think you’ve won?! You think my back’s to the wall?! You’re not even in the same league as me! Lyra: Ugh! OW! Ladybug: The days of friendship and laughter are over! This is our time! [Laser] Lyra: Ug-! Ladybug: And from the ashes of your burnt-out kingdom; a new hive. My hive! Lyra: Gah-! Ladybug: That’s right! I will be queen! And your descendants will be grain for my bread! Lyra: Ah-! [Thud] Ladybug: But you don’t have to worry. You won’t live to see it!
[High-pitched siren]
Lyra: TODAY OCTAVIA! Ladybug: Wha-? [Klang]
Ladybug: Uh… [Thud]
Octavia: [Panting] I liked that cello… Lyra: [Pant] I thought it was a double bass. Octavia: Don’t you get cheeky with me.
[Coughing]
Octavia: Vinyl! [Distant running] Vinyl, wake up! Wake up!
Ladybug: Fools! After you’re dealt with, we’ll just say you were the Changelings! Then, in an act of retaliation, we’ll personally march your entire military into our borders- into an insurmountable trap! You’ve only hastened your pitiful nation’s destruction!
Bon-Bon: Not if I can help it!
[Multiple lasers]
Bon-Bon: Lyra, they have me pinned down! What are we gonna do?!
Bedbug: Where do you think you’re going?! Raindrops: N-no- Bedbug: Don’t even think about moving, you dog! Raindrops: Oh-oh… kay… Ladybug: You move, dog, and you and your friends are dust. Raindrops: I-I won’t- Bedbug: Look at you. Spineless. Like a cowardly puppy! Raindrops: I’m… I’m not… Ladybug: Don’t worry, you mutt, you’ll be rewarded for your obedience. Bedbug: Sure! It won’t even hurt-!
