Bon-Bon: Is that… Granny Smith chasing Trixie?

Lyra: Heh heh, yeah.

Bon-Bon: Shouldn’t we, you know, help her?

Lyra: Mare, if you did something to cheese off Granny Smith that bad, you deserve what’s coming.

Bon-Bon: Hmm… How long has this been going on?

Lyra: Ah like four minutes. Bulk Biceps is out there too.

Bon-Bon: Oh, he’s a big guy.

Lyra: Yeah, that’s the real reason I ain’t goin’ out there.

Bon-Bon: Can’t blame you.

Lyra: You know, just… hanging out with Changelings at a party, eh heh heh… Nothin’ awkward about this…

Bon-Bon: Of course it isn’t! It’s refreshing to spend some time with Changelings and not have to punch them in the face, haha.

Pronotum: Yeah… That really hurt…

Bon-Bon: Oh gosh… You were one of them?

Elytra: One of them?

Lyra: Gettin’ awkward again…

Pronotum: No no. It’s okay. We’re past this. You did you. We did we.

Bon-Bon: Yeah.
Pronotum: Yeah…

Elytra: Seriously though how many Changelings have you punched?

Lyra: Think I’m just gonna…. mosey on home. psst remember to give the password if you want me to unlock the door Ah ha ha! Bye now!

Bon-Bon: Too far, Lyra! Too far!

Lyra: Oh and the honey from the shower faucet was perfectly fine!

Bon-Bon: That was brief! I can’t sit on the toilet all day! I have work to do!

Lyra: It’s Saturday and the slower half of the year, don’t give me that crap.

Bon-Bon: Oh you’re going to get something when this passes!

Lyra: Just remember to flush every so often! HA! HA! HA!

Lyra: So I had just finished eating a cookie and I had to sneeze. So I sneezed through my mouth and I looked in the napkin and there was this bright crimson red and for just a moment I was all “Oh no! Bon-Bon’s killed me!“ And then I remembered it was a red velvet cookie I ate.

Bon-Bon: Geez, Lyra. It’s just a prank war. Nothing to lose your head over. By the way, you may want to forgo showering for the foreseeable future.

Lyra: Oh yeah? How about I just use your shower? Hmm? Checkmate!

[Pause]

Bon-Bon: Couldn’t lead her along any easier if you gave me a leash.

pilesoflances:

Have some endearing Lyra trying to impress Bon Bon

Bon-Bon: Get up, sleepyhead. We’re at the market!

Lyra: Don’t call further attention to this.

Bon-Bon: Aw, is somepony cranky? Do I need to carry you and the groceries home?

Lyra: Are you recording thi-?!

asklyra:

beyoncepatronus:

a nsa agent in a suit looking through my laptop camera: she’s on her phone…….. our data shows that she’s got tumblr open on her laptop but she has tumblr open on her phone………. double check her browser?

some nerd hired straight out of college: *types rapidly* she’s definitely got tumblr open on her laptop

the nsa agent, softly: so why is she looking at it on her phone…..

Bon-Bon: Don’t mind me. Just leaving this here. For someone.

Oh kiss my backside, Bon-Bon!

Lyra: A decorating party… Whoever heard of a decorating party?

Bon-Bon: Lyra…

Lyra: I come to a party to socialize, eat, and have fun. Not to work.

Bon-Bon: Lyra, why do you always do this?

Lyra: Do what? Complain about something stupid?

Bon-Bon: Complain about something when you had fun. You were laughing, and smiling, and having fun. The decorating was fun! All those things you came for you did while helping somepony decorate that massive foyer she inherited. You got to help somepony and enjoy yourself at the same time! What more could anypony ask for on Hearth’s Warming Eve?

Lyra: … Nothing… Though technically, it is after midnight.

Bon-Bon: Happy Hearth’s Warming, Lyra

Lyra: Happy Hearth’s Warming, Bon-Bon.

Lyra: Funny you should ask. Because!

[Dink Dink Dink-Dink]

Lyra: We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! But-it’s-clearly-marked-so-we-already-know-who-it’s-from.

[Paper ripping]

Lyra: Look! It’s a letter from our friends! Mostly.

Bon-Bon: Mostly?! That’s a letter from Princess Twilight!

Lyra: I’m just kidding! Mostly. We’re invited to a Hearth’s Warming party at Twilight’s Palace! There will be food and decorations-

Bon-Bon: Actually, that says decorating.

Lyra: I’m sure it’s just a typo. So yeah! That was pretty cool. Not a bad day!

Bon-Bon: Are you sure you didn’t want to stay, especially with word that everypony is on their way back from the Changeling Kingdom? I’m sure Princess Celestia would have liked to hear your speech much more than an imposter.
Lyra: She knows where we stand. Besides, it’s better if the Elements don’t know about our involvement when we can help it. Plus, I kinda like the idea of Raindrops being celebrated as a big hero that saved all of Equestria.
Bon-Bon: Ha, she certainly deserves it after the courage she displayed.

[Pause]

Bon-Bon: Quite an eventful few days.
Lyra: Yeah. Feels like it was way longer. Ugh…
Bon-Bon: Is your side alright?
Lyra: No worse than Vinyl, probably. Did they get you any?
Bon-Bon: Just a little dusty from when they blew the pillar up.
Lyra: Lucky.

[Pause, Light breeze]

Lyra: B?
B: [Deep breathing]
Lyra: B! Where have you been?! All Tartarus was breaking loose in Ponyville and Canterlot! We needed your help and you were gone!
B: Where…? I… was in the Crystal Empire… FIGHTING A [omitted] VOLTRON DRAGON MADE OF CHANGELINGS! [Deep breathing]

Bon-Bon: Uh… How did that go?
B: Unsatisfactory.

[Violent gust of wind]

Raindrops: I’M NOT A DOG!
Bedbug: Where did she-?!
Ladybug: Up there!
Raindrops: I’M A WONDERBOLT-!
Bedbug: Ooof-!
[Loud crash]

Ladybug: Rrrr-! I’ll fry you!
[Sparking electricity]
Lyra: No~!
Ladybug: Ugh-! Ah-!
Bon-Bon: Lyra!
Lyra: Help Raindrops!

Ladybug: Hah! You think you’ve won?! You think my back’s to the wall?! You’re not even in the same league as me!
Lyra: Ugh! OW!
Ladybug: The days of friendship and laughter are over! This is our time!
[Laser]
Lyra: Ug-!
Ladybug: And from the ashes of your burnt-out kingdom; a new hive. My hive!
Lyra: Gah-!
Ladybug: That’s right! I will be queen! And your descendants will be grain for my bread!
Lyra: Ah-!
[Thud]
Ladybug: But you don’t have to worry. You won’t live to see it!

[High-pitched siren]

Lyra: TODAY OCTAVIA!
Ladybug: Wha-?
[Klang]

Ladybug: Uh…
[Thud]

Octavia: [Panting] I liked that cello…
Lyra: [Pant] I thought it was a double bass.
Octavia: Don’t you get cheeky with me.

[Coughing]

Octavia: Vinyl! [Distant running] Vinyl, wake up! Wake up!

Ladybug: Fools! After you’re dealt with, we’ll just say you were the Changelings! Then, in an act of retaliation, we’ll personally march your entire military into our borders- into an insurmountable trap! You’ve only hastened your pitiful nation’s destruction!

Bon-Bon: Not if I can help it!

[Multiple lasers]

Bon-Bon: Lyra, they have me pinned down! What are we gonna do?!

Bedbug: Where do you think you’re going?!
Raindrops: N-no-
Bedbug: Don’t even think about moving, you dog!
Raindrops: Oh-oh… kay…
Ladybug: You move, dog, and you and your friends are dust.
Raindrops: I-I won’t-
Bedbug: Look at you. Spineless. Like a cowardly puppy!
Raindrops: I’m… I’m not…
Ladybug: Don’t worry, you mutt, you’ll be rewarded for your obedience.
Bedbug: Sure! It won’t even hurt-!

Celestia?: … Lyra.

Lyra: That might be what my parents would have called me, but you named me yourself-!
Luna?: This is ridiculous.
Lyra: My real name is Liora! You can check the royal archives! Princess Celestia made my birth certificate herself!
Luna?: Captain, you have not only endangered Equestria you have wasted precious time. We must mobilize the guard immediately. Our nation is being threatened by a foul plot!

Octavia: That wouldn’t happen to be all the planet’s nations declaring war on us in tandem, would it?
Luna?: Ah… I…
Guard: Princesses Celestia and Luna, you are hereby placed under the custody of the Equestrian Guard. Please come with us to holding.

[Pause]

Luna?: Did you think…
Bedbug: Our queen wouldn’t have sent her best?!

[Deep echo]

Bon-Bon: The door!
Raindrops: It won’t move!

[High-pitched siren]

Octavia: Look out!
[Thunderous Boom]
Lyra: Aaah-!

Luna?: Hard to imagine.
Celestia?: The guard is already gathered. We’ll just…?
Luna?: Captain! What is the meaning of this? You were given explicit orders! You are placing all of Equestria in danger!

Guard: I’m sorry, Princess Luna. This group arrived from Ponyville and urgently-
Lyra: Princess Celestia. Once upon a time you discovered an unattended stroller and took in a baby. You could not take care of her yourself, just as you cannot take care of every child in Equestria, but you gave her a roof and saw that she was attended to. When the time came, you insured that she was given the education that all ponies deserve. In a perfect world, that pony would have grown up to be somepony important.

Lyra: But that didn’t happen. She fell into a darkness and let it drive her to do horrible things. Yet, you never gave up on her. I know it was rarely easy. I know how frustrating it must have been. But you were always there. You always gave her a chance to be more than she was. Sometimes the right words didn’t come out, but in your heart… she was never second. I… I just wanted to thank you… Thank you for saving me.

Celestia?: Of course, my little pony. You were never a burden to me.

Lyra: There’s one thing I need to know, though. Something I have to make sure of. Princess Celestia… What is my name?

Guard: As you can see ma’am, they won’t be causing you any more trouble.
Granny Smith?: Chained and muzzled? Now that’s what I like to see! Serves you harlots right! Attackin’ a poor old lady.
Guard: If you could just step this way, ma’am.
Granny Smith?: What?
Guard: We need to have you checked out by a physician and document any injuries for prosecution while they’re still fresh.
Granny Smith?: Well alright, but only so they can throw the book at you five harpies! I hope they make this quick. I need to get back to Sweet Apple Acres. Was just mindin’ my own business, shopping in the market, and the moment I round a corner- WAM! Clocked me like a tee-ball, they did. Is this going to take long? Well? Why did everypony stop?

Guard: Well you see, ma’am, when you walked through that magic disabling device it seems to have turned you into a changeling.

Hissy McFit: Oh… Could… Could I just go quietly and… non-violently? Thisss hasn’t been a great day for me…
Guard: I don’t see why not.
Hissy McFit: I really did get hit in the head. And then stuffed in a trunk. And that was just today. The other changelingsss in Ponyville were pretty mean too.
Guard: Why don’t you get your thoughts together and tell us all about it in a few minutes? [Pause] Send a detachment to Ponyville and arrest the Elements of Harmony. Lyra, you and your friends are cleared for the throne room. All of you, spread word around the castle and secure the parameter around the throne room. Balcony included. The rest of you, on us. We’re going to bring two royal changeling imposters into custody.

Lyra: Thanks for trusting us enough to prove our innocence.
Guard: Foalnapping was never your M.O.. Now, you understand we can’t imprison the Princesses without explicit evidence of their involvement. At best we can occupy the throne room and follow them against their will.
Lyra: Yeah. This is the hard part.

Hissy McFit: Hiss! Stupid equestrians! You-ugh-… already lost!

Lyra: Funny, from where I sit upon the chest you’re locked in I’m feeling like this was a triumph. Don’t see your friends coming to look for you either.

Hissy McFit: Changelings don’t have- hiss-! friends!

Lyra: That kinda sounds like the problem, don’t it?

Hissy McFit: We don’t need friends! We control your country! We took every princess! And even if you somehow rescue them- hiss-! we’ll destroy Equestria!

Octavia: We hear your bluff, we’re just not sold on the tone alone. I mean, destroy Equestria? Really now.

Hissy McFit: If Queen Chrysalis sends the signal to the changelings posing as the princesses, they’ll declare war on every nation on the planet! Only- hiss-! they’ll make it look like Equestria is the one being attacked! The Equestrian Military will be split up and deployed immediately! By the time anyone in authority returns, it will be too late! Equestria will be doomed! Ha ha hiss-ha!

Bon-Bon: That’s quite a contingency…
Octavia: Stopping the changelings posing as the Elements of Harmony is no longer the priority.
Raindrops: So, we’re going to Canterlot to stop the imposer princesses?
Octavia: If we can even reach them. No doubt they’ve heightened security to limit their exposure to the public.
Lyra: I think I can take care of that.