No, not me.

In fact, there have been a hundred times where if I’d only had some kind of help, insight, even just another perspective, then maybe…

…

Maybe things would have turned out better for others.

It’s not common for ponies, no.

Typically it’d take a unicorn’s magic to maintain the balance and speed necessary to match a Griffon. But if it’s a unicorn fighting, usually they’d be throwing around magic spells at a distance. Plus, unicorns aren’t exactly renounced for their physical prowess. Takes yet another spell to give them the kind of strength to stand up against what an earth or pegusus pony would be capable of. Which means being effective in two specific fields of magic.

Pegesus can box effectively, but typically their style of combat involves a lot of dives and grabs to throw their opponent off balance.

I can’t think of any stories that wouldn’t take, like, an hour to write, or aren’t depressing in at least some capacity. I can think of one, but I wasn’t even involved when it supposedly got good.

There was this couple that was playing truth or dare with us once. They were kinda bending the rules and giving one another easy stuff to do, but everypony else was giving them really hard ones and they were doing them. They were both in the lead when out of the blue, the colt dares the filly to climb on top of a statue while Princess Celestia is marching down the street and present herself.

By the time the resulting poo-storm between the two subsided, double diamond dog dare. Filly is a pegasus, so she gets up to the top first. We saw what was coming and bolted, the coltfriend too! She won, but she got very, very arrested.

But, that isn’t even the story. The story is that the coltfriend wanted us to help break her out! After he ran off too?! But… That filly had a lot of guts.

We agreed, but there wasn’t a whole lot I could do. I couldn’t fly and I still wasn’t very good with magic, not that I am now. I drew them up some rough floor plans and left.

They got her out, but they never told me how. No idea what they were hiding, but I’d have loved to be a fly on the wall there.

See? This is an interesting question!

I’ve sort of been waiting to get something like this to be honest, though. Ever since that ponycast from Equestria Daily where the hosts talked about the possibilities behind a background character with the same name as me being a villain. You know the show I’m talking about, right? That breakout hit show for foals?

Let’s look at some information about me and the world around us.

I’ve trained pretty hard, but I’m far from an action girl. I’m more of a one-trick pony. I sort of have super strength, in a way, but it’s either limited in potency or duration. I could probably keep up Applejack levels of strength for about thirty minutes, or give one fully-sized, Basil-strength punch and be completely spent. Not exactly the kind of position a physical villain wants to find themselves in.

If I were a villain, I’d have to be a villain of subtly. Manipulate ponies and events for my own personal gain. And in that… Well… I think I could be fairly devastating. I mean, how many ponies actually dislike me? Supposing it was all a trick to gain a following large enough, and with enough sympathy toward me to direct them at others, would anypony actually see it coming?

But…

Unless you’re a psychopath, a villain has to have some greater goal in mind; something to gain. Some reason to deviate so far from society as to fall from grace, possibly to the point of irredeemability. What would I have to gain from being a villain?

No matter how much of a following I gather, I would never be able overthrow Princess Celestia, let alone both her and her sister (and all other forces involved). And I wouldn’t want to! I owe my life to her, and she does a great job running the country (the real Princess, that is)!

But… Assuming I did. Running a country isn’t all about power and satisfaction. It’s just about the most detailed and involving job there is. Princess Celestia reads almost all day everyday. And there’s always more piling up. Sorry, no desire for any of that kind of responsibility.

I’m not normal. I just don’t want anypony to suffer. The way I have and the way I’ve seen others suffer. But either way I’d never be a villain, or even do anything antihero-ish because I’d have nothing to gain from it.

As an aside (if we want to go the television show/comic book route), being that Basil is the only one that I’ve ever seen resist me so completely, he’d actually be my villain. Which would make him a hero. How hilarious would that be?

I don’t play live very often.

I preformed lyre in a large symphony with somewhere around one hundred musicians once. Pretty much every musician you’d ordinarily think of from Canterlot was there.

I was completely muffled behind talented musicians, though. I don’t think you could even hear my mistakes, let alone anything else.

If I remember right, and I probably don’t because I’m horrible at history, after Princess Celestia banished Princess Luna to the moon she wasn’t the only pony upset. The law was put into place to try and lift spirits. There isn’t really a penalty for ignoring it, but there’s a huge tax break for those that abide by it.

It’s based upon a number of puns per year, but a certain number of those puns have to be different and spaced out over a certain number of days. You can’t just say the same thing over and over again on the last day (that day always being your birthday).

It’s not really enforced, it’s just sort of tradition at this point. Even if somepony accuses somepony else of ignoring the law, there has to be pretty sizable evidence to prove it.

That or the defendant has to be stupid enough to plead guilty.

…

Once upon a time…

…

Once upon a time there was a guard…

…

He saved my life…

I talked to him. It gave me something to do; somewhere to be that wasn’t so dangerous….

…

He was one of those ponies I offered it to. But he declined. He was… virtuous. In a sense I couldn’t comprehend at that age. At that point in my life.

…

[Tap] [Tap] [Tap]

They killed him… Broad daylight, they came for him. And he still managed to save me…

[Sniff]

…

And all I could do was run…

No.

…

[Audible sigh]

Growing up, there were a few times, but it was never on any regular basis.

…

Looking back, I don’t even know if it was a mistake or not. I just wanted to give back to a few stallions that really helped me out. It was offered as a gift, and they accepted…

…

[Audible sigh]

Yeah, I know what that makes me… But I will never do it again.

When me and a few others would go clear across Canterlot to this video game store to play some games on the in-store displays, I remember this one filly, way younger than us, that would watch us play Grand Theft Carriage. She even played a few times herself.

She was in advanced classes and made excellent grades. Sorry, I just don’t buy the whole “corrupting youth” thing. Can make ponies more jaded and cynical, maybe. But she never had a problem with it.

By the way, we’d sometimes get paid bits for playing those games by the owners. We’d make them look easy and customers would get drawn in.

That’s not my place to comment.

I will say this, since I know who you’re comparing to whom. If Boscov still ate meat, I’d have never given him a chance.

This is modern times we live in. There’s not a diet around that can’t be supplemented by the pharmaceutical industry, and no excuse for rational beings capable of logical thought to still eat at the cost of another’s life.

I’m close friends with Gilda, and I care for her deeply. But that divide will always exist.

There’s a certain degree of danger any time somepony strives for power, regardless of the reason.

Not that I believe you’d ever purposefully do anything negative, but that’s the line between intentions and realization.

And that’s a far as you get on the subject.

This is still a family-friendly page. No details.

Well, let’s see.

The job I had as an atmospheric musician there was only a trial thing. The trial ended around the time I came to Ponyville.

Most of the ponies in Canterlot’s upper-end think they’re above working at a lot of places, so maybe I could have gotten a job as a grocer, a fast food attendant, or a floormare at a department store.

Tragedy is easier to deal with when you expect it.

…

…

… I don’t have any better of an explanation than that…

I…

…

Love… is a difficult thing for me… I’ve been through such horrible things… Ponies that seemed just as benign as you… Ponies that I loved…

I’m not saying I think you would ever hurt me. That’s not it at all!

…

I know I’m capable of loving you. But I can’t lie to you, Boscov. It’s just… Not there yet…

I’m… I’m sorry…