Lyra: Oh, say Bon-Bon.
Bon-Bon: Mmhm.
Lyra: Remember that time Rainbow Dash flew in out of nowhere and ruined our souvenir photos while screaming like a mad mare?
Bon-Bon: Well, if I ever manage to forget we have the photos to remember it by.
Bon-Bon: I can’t stay here, I have work in the morning!
Lyra: This is ridiculous. We’ve been out here for like fifteen minutes. They can’t just hide in there! We have valid questions that need answering!
Berryshine: Yeah! It’s like they think they can just sing a song and it’ll solve everypony’s problems!
Lyra: Oh that is so Twilight too. Just sing a song and walk away.
Rose: There she is! They’re coming out!
[Ravenous uproar]
Twilight: Everypony please! If I can have your attention!
Reporter Pony?: Princess Twilight-!
Twilight: I am so sorry, but we will not be taking questions at this time-
Reporter Pony?: My pencil…
Twilight: Everypony, we would like to let you all know just how thrilled we are that The Friendship Journal was such a hit among so many ponies! So much so that you’ve taken a break from your everyday lives to gather here. It is for this reason, and many others, that I invite you all to return to your homes and reread the work! But this time, do so at a slower pace. Reflect upon the many lessons found within, but only one-at-a-time. Maybe only read one lesson a day!
Rainbow Dash: But mostly just go home!
Reporter Pony?: And what if we don’t?!
[Cries of approval]
Twilight: That is a very good question! And if I could just direct your attention to the center of Ponyville-! [Zap] Which is where you now are. For those of you remaining, I can’t promise you you’ll all end up in the same place if you stay, but I can assure you it won’t be here.
[Pause, Grumbles of Dispersal]
Twilight: Thank you! Thank you for reading! And if any of you find your way to Sweet Apple Acres on your way back, be sure to let everypony there know they are trespassing on royal land, gifted to the Apple family, who have the sole authority to prosecute!
Well, seeing as I have no more questions, I guess I gotta end early again. Had a lot of ponies scheduled that never got to do anything. I’ll just address this one message.
Lyra: My speech recognition program has two settings. It either detects who is talking or it just writes down everything that’s said. Now first of all, I have to go in and manually program it to detect each new pony, which is a long, painful task. Doing that for every single pony is a chore and runs into time constraint issues, as most guests only have so long to be here. We already have to pick out the question, throw some ideas around about what would be a good set-up or-
Rarity: Be so ridiculous that… it’s just silly.
Lyra: Rehearse it, record it, usually several times. It would just be one more step we don’t have time for. Especially when some of these guests might not come back. The other reason is that some of the supposed “answerers” aren’t really here. Obviously I couldn’t really get Chrysalis from last year. And Sombra-
Rainbow Dash: Evaporated.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Vaporized would be more accurate.
Lyra: I couldn’t get Trixie last year, but she did come this year. A. K. Yearling formally declined. Scooby Doo and Shaggy are completely out of the question, seeing as they’re cartoon characters-
Discord: [pirate accent] You’d best start believin’ in cartoon characters…
Lyra: … Right… Anyway… Actually I think I’m done. Thank you to everypony that participated, with special thanks to our princesses! Happy April Fools and regular updates will resume whenever I get a message!
Uh… Hmm… This must be one of those smart questions, right? Where the answer is, like, something to do with how the question is worded? Alright. I got this.
Rainbow Dash.
Don’t tell me! I got this!
Rainbow Dash.
I said hold on! I just need a minute! I read books! I’m smart now!
Rainbow Dash! I don’t think it’s a smart question. I think it’s supposed to be a joke. A corrupted amalgamation of two phrases.
… Amalgamation. Right. I was gonna say that.
Awesome! So did we!
Oh absolutely. We really must get together and do it again sometime soon. And please don’t fret over any communication issues.
Yeah! We came to play! Not trade life stories.
Not that I would be opposed to trading a few tales.
And could I ever tell you some stories! Like this one time-
Ah haha. Perhaps another time, dear. Oh, but you poor thing! I meant to warn you about that. Those things are simply dreadful! I don’t think Rainbow Dash and I together could bring them down reliably!
Yeah… They kinda hurt. It’s just a shame that my gaming partner is so bad at that game.
Excusez-moi?
I said I’m sure I could have done it with somepony who’s better at video games.
… I will destroy you in Tetrisphere!
Make it Hawken!
It. Is. On!
