Ribbon: Lyra! What in Tartarus did you do?!

Lyra: Oh Cels… Can I go one shift without somepony yelling at me?

Ribbon: All those horseapples about “being on the same side” and you go on a date with her?!

Lyra: I had to! She made me!
Ribbon: Did she put a knife to your throat?! Because you just buried one in my back!

Lyra: It wasn’t that big of a deal!

Ribbon: Oh no? She must have talked for two hours about it! Going on and on about how much fun she had and how much she just loooved spending time with you!  You’d have thought you two were there all night!

Lyra: We didn’t even do anything!

Ribbon: You did enough! I-It’s like you rekindled a dying flame! How am I supposed to find somepony to compete against you for her affections now?! You have a neigh-insurmountable lead!

Lyra: I’m sorry!

Ribbon: Oooh, you’re not sorry yet. But you will be. You’ve made a powerful enemy this day- I’ll tell you that much! But you know what really burns my flank? Lyra? You know what really gets under my coat? How she said that it wasn’t special. That it felt so normal. Like it was just some ordinary night and that’s how things are supposed to be! It’s like you don’t even have to do anything!

[Pause]

Lyra: Ugh… I’m just going to stop getting out of bed.

Lyra: Ribbon? What are you doing in Ponyville in the middle of the week?

Ribbon: Can a mother not be there for her daughter on the first week of a new school year?

Lyra: N-no? I mean, are you here to buy your ticket home now?

Ribbon: Of course! A smart mare purchases her ticket early to avoid the rush.

Lyra: But… this is rush hour…
Ribbon: So it is! But, about that conversation we had earlier. You recall, yes?

Lyra: Is this really the best time? I’m kinda working-
Ribbon: You’re with a customer, so you still are. Now I believe I made a very generous offer…
Lyra: You did.
Ribbon: And…?

Lyra: I appreciate the consideration, but-
Ribbon: Ugh! Why am I not surprised?

Lyra: Look, I know why you’re doing this and I’m not against it.
Ribbon: And how do you-…!? Wait… what?

Lyra: I don’t like Bon-Bon sitting around waiting for me to suddenly fall in love with her! She’s wasting her life away! There’s a hundred thousand ponies out there that could make her happy and she needs to get over me!

Ribbon: I… Well, yes that-
Lyra: But bringing her suitors isn’t going to work. She’s an entrepreneur, a self-starter, an independent workhorse. It has to be her that finds somepony.

Ribbon: Hmm… Yes that does sound like Bonnie. A change to the encounter then? Stage a meeting perhaps?

Lyra: I’m not helping you play matchmaker. I’m just letting you know I’m not standing in your way.

Ribbon: Fair enough. And this should be fare enough for a ticket. And a good day to you.

[Pause]

Lyra: She’ll be happier when she gets past me. I just… want her to be happy…

Lyra: Say, Bon-Bon? Have you ever thought about moving?

Bon-Bon: What?

Lyra: You know, moving away from Ponyville.

Bon-Bon: Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?

Lyra: Oh no. I was just wondering.

Bon-Bon: Lyra, Ponyville is where my business is. I can’t just drag it around behind me. If I moved to another small town I’d have to start all over again. And if I moved to a big city I’d be driven out of business by competition. I know because that’s exactly what I would do.

Lyra: What about, like, franchising and chains?

Bon-Bon: I suppose that’s possible somewhere down the road. And sure, I’d have to at least move temporarily to help get it started. But I’d have to have a lot of money stored up. And that’s just not happening anytime soon. If ever. Why do you ask? I thought you loved Ponyville.

Lyra: Oh I do! I was just curious, you know, about the future.

Bon-Bon: That’s a lo~ng ways away. I’m focused more on the foreseeable future right now.

Lyra: Oh, okay.

Ribbon: Hello, Lyra.

Lyra: Ribbon! Uh, hey! Bon-Bon’s not here right now-
Ribbon: I know.

Lyra: Liza is out playing, if you need me to-
Ribbon: Oh, no. I came here to talk to you.

Lyra: Oh. Uh…. Okay.

Ribbon: You see, I’ve begun to feel like Tootsie and I don’t spend enough time together.

Lyra: Well, yeah.

Ribbon: Yeah? Like-you-have-no-manners-what-so-… Anyway. I do a fair deal of typing, record keeping, scheduling- you know, things of that nature-
Lyra: Uh huh.
Ribbon: And I thought to myself, “I spend so much time on these details when really, I could hire somepony to do this for me-!“
Lyra: Okay.
Ribbon: And why would I hire just any old pony when I could hire somepony I know? Somepony who I trust with my very child?

Lyra: I don’t think Bon-Bon is going to-
Ribbon: How well do you type? You run your little blog thing, surely you have considerable experience.

Lyra: Well I-
Ribbon: So you type well? Fabulous! How would you like to work for me?

Lyra: I don’t-
Ribbon: I can assure you compensation that far exceeds your current position. And, if you want, I could even begin to teach you some law. Expand your skill set? In time, maybe take over client interviews. Perhaps sit in on a few cases. Maybe even become an attorney yourself.

Lyra: That’s-
Ribbon: And the money! Not just for yourself either. I bet there’s more than a few causes you could help support with bits to spare! Think about that. The opportunity to help others. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Lyra: Well, yes-
Ribbon: Splendid! You can pack your things and we’ll find you a nice place in Manehattan to stay.

Lyra: Wait. Leave Ponyville?

Ribbon: Well, of course. I can’t very well have a secretary working way out here. Oh, but you grew up in Canterlot, yes? Manehattan is so much more interesting! The shows, the shopping, the scenery! And so much more secure. How often does this little backwater village get attacked, set on fire, or turned inside-out?

Lyra: I’d… I’d have to-

Ribbon: Think about it? Oh of course! I wouldn’t expect you to just up and leave. No, of course not. But do give it some real consideration, would you? This is no small offer, after a~ll!

Lyra: Yeah… Sure…

Ribbon: Yes, but surely you could have done it, right?

Bon-Bon: The only thing I could have done was told them from the start how unfeasible it was. A chocolate fountain fixture built into the cake is one thing, but a working chocolate waterfall? On a seven layered cake? That might not be impossible, but the cost and time associated with planning, testing and putting something like that together would cost more than anypony having a wedding in Ponyville could afford. Especially under the short notice they had.

Ribbon: Haha! Of course! That was quite a short time to plan a wedding in!

Lyra: Rarity tends to plan a little big, but she’s also not one to shy away from a challenge.

Ribbon: And it all did work out in the end. At least, that’s what the article said.

Lyra: I don’t know first hoof, but Applejack said the ceremonies went without a hitch. And you’d be hard-pressed to challenge Applejack’s word.

Ribbon: Nice to know magazines can still tell the truth sometimes. And it’s so nice of you to join us for once, Lyra.

Lyra: Yeah, I’m usually working on Fridays and the weekend.

Ribbon: Are you? I was under the impression government employees didn’t work on holidays or weekends.

Lyra: I’m actually subcontracted. I work for-

Ribbon: Subcontracted? You poor dear. I’m so sorry. How dreadful.

Bon-Bon: Ribbon…

Ribbon: Oh, it’s not her fault. It’s a terrible system designed to cut corners and underpay employees. You don’t even get any benefits, do you?

Lyra: Well, there’s been some talk about it under the new group that bought the contract, but I don’t know when it’s supposed to start. Right now we’re under probation-

Ribbon: Under probation! You’ve been working there for a year, haven’t you? See? Down right criminal treatment. Ought to be illegal. But, if it’s a government operation, who’s going to call them out on it? It’s tragic, really.

Lyra: Y-yeah…