Bon-Bon: I can’t stay here, I have work in the morning!

Lyra: This is ridiculous. We’ve been out here for like fifteen minutes. They can’t just hide in there! We have valid questions that need answering!

Berryshine: Yeah! It’s like they think they can just sing a song and it’ll solve everypony’s problems!

Lyra: Oh that is so Twilight too. Just sing a song and walk away.

Rose: There she is! They’re coming out!

[Ravenous uproar]

Twilight: Everypony please! If I can have your attention!

Reporter Pony?: Princess Twilight-!
Twilight: I am so sorry, but we will not be taking questions at this time-
Reporter Pony?: My pencil…

Twilight: Everypony, we would like to let you all know just how thrilled we are that The Friendship Journal was such a hit among so many ponies! So much so that you’ve taken a break from your everyday lives to gather here. It is for this reason, and many others, that I invite you all to return to your homes and reread the work! But this time, do so at a slower pace. Reflect upon the many lessons found within, but only one-at-a-time. Maybe only read one lesson a day!

Rainbow Dash: But mostly just go home!

Reporter Pony?: And what if we don’t?!

[Cries of approval]

Twilight: That is a very good question! And if I could just direct your attention to the center of Ponyville-! [Zap] Which is where you now are. For those of you remaining, I can’t promise you you’ll all end up in the same place if you stay, but I can assure you it won’t be here.

[Pause, Grumbles of Dispersal]

Twilight: Thank you! Thank you for reading! And if any of you find your way to Sweet Apple Acres on your way back, be sure to let everypony there know they are trespassing on royal land, gifted to the Apple family, who have the sole authority to prosecute!

Lyra: No doubt about it, Lisa, you were right! Applejack is the best!

Tootsie: Thanks!

Bon-Bon: I’ve always felt welcome on Sweet Apple Acres, but I’ve never just… you know, relaxed before!

Tootsie: You should relax more often!

Bon-Bon: Maybe I should!

Applejack: [Pant] Sorry the… the plate’s empty… All the other guests already… Do you fillies need anything?

Lyra: We’re fine over here, Applejack!

Bon-Bon: Thanks a bunch, Applejack!

Tootsie: We love you, Applejack!

Dinky: And how! Yee~haw~!

Applejack: [Dejected Sigh]

Lyra: Did that sigh sound, I don’t know, dejected to anypony else?

Bon-Bon: Those don’t sound like relaxing thoughts.

Tootsie: Hey everypony! I’m-
Lyra: Say what again, filly! SAY WHAT AGAIN!

Bon-Bon: Rarity is a selfish, self-centered, manipulating-
Tootsie: totally not surprised…
Bon-Bon: -with an ego only rivaling Rainbow Dash!

Lyra: Oh yeah?! Well guess who’s an eccentric, hyperactive, stalker; and at least three times more controlling than even Twilight Sparkle?! Knock knock, it’s Pinkie Pie!

Bon-Bon: [Gasp] How dare you take the Ponk’s name in vain?!

Lyra: You’re just a-!
Bon-Bon: I’ll have you know-!

[Unintelligible Yelling]

Tootsie: “Say, Lisa, who gave your favorite friendship lessons?” Oh, I really liked Fluttershy’s because I know what it’s like to feel small and anxious about speaking out. I found her lessons to be the most relatable. “Gee, Lisa, that’s so mature and adult of you!“ Thanks, but my favorite lessons were Applejack’s. You know why? Because she actually CARES ABOUT FAMILY!

[Door Slam; Pause]

Lyra: Um… Lisa’s home.

Bon-Bon: You don’t say?

Bon-Bon: Oh, so you got a copy too?

Lyra: Huh? Oh yeah. I wasn’t gonna, but Twilight was literally just giving them out.

Bon-Bon: That’s funny, I got two. One for me and one for you.

Lyra: You could give one to Lisa.

Bon-Bon: I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t already have a copy by Monday. Rumblings I’ve heard is that The Friendship Journal’s selling like cider all across Equestria.

Lyra: I guess it’s not every day a princess publishes a book.

Bon-Bon: It’s not everyday you actually read a book either.

Lyra: If you can call Fluttershy’s entries reading. Make an ant squint. And Rarity’s might as well be wrote in Saddle Arabian.

Bon-Bon: You mean Arabic. You know, if you’re having trouble, I could always read to you.

Lyra: Get off me ‘fore you break the stool!