Octavia: Vinyl-… Vinyl if you-… If you could just slow down a tad-! I can’t see a thing when you zoom the vision around like that! … Oh haha. Very funny.
Lyra: It all just looks like a lot of dreamscape nonsense. How does Princess Luna actually go in there?
Octavia: Different spell, different properties, I imagine.
Bon-Bon: Even when she holds it still I can’t make out anything. Lyra: It’s like watching one of those time-lapse videos, through a telescope, from a foot away. What are we even looking for? Octavia: Bare in mind I’ve only read about how this works when changelings are involved. Not much opportunity to practice it.
Raindrops: Woah. Bon-Bon: Everything went dark. Lyra: Did it break? Octavia: Changeling dreams. Inky, amorphous blobs that draw in anything healthy and absorb it. They can fool us in the real world, but they can’t hide the darkness in their hearts.
Lyra: So it is changelings. That’s a relief. [Pause] I mean, at least we can fight back without hurting the ones we’re trying to save. Right? Octavia: I’m not so sure. We’re three against seven. And that’s being generous. Raindrops: Don’t you mean five against seven? Octavia: I’m not counting ponies that can’t defend themselves. Raindrops: That’s… That’s fair.
Bon-Bon: So what do we do? Round up as many ponies as we can and rush them? Octavia: Ponyville ponies? If this were Cloudsdale or Manehattan perhaps. But Ponyville has about the meekest residents in Equestria. Lyra: What about Zecora? Bon-Bon: This is the last time we need somepony to get lost in the Everfree Forest. Raindrops: So what do we do?
Octavia: I’m afraid I don’t have the answer… The only way S.M.I.L.E. could have been compromised is if the Seeker Network was taken down. And if the changelings got that far… They must have the princesses as well. Which means they have control over the entirety of the EUP. Even CUE… Whatever course of action we take had better work… Because we may be Equestria’s last line of defense…
Bon-Bon: [Sigh] B is very strange. He does… something… When you look at him, you see a pony. It doesn’t look remarkable. Nothing about it stands out. And when you look away, you won’t remember what the pony looked like.
Bon-Bon: I’ve tested it before. I’ve wrote down a characteristic about
him, like “long mane”, then held it up next to him. And periodically
it’ll make sense. But then it… won’t? I’ve even tried writing down
something while looking at him, but I could never even finish a word
before I disagreed with what I was writing. Same thing with his voice.
Bon-Bon: He’s very serious. Not that he looks very serious, but…
Bon-Bon: I don’t really like him. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he’s just this… intimidating… thing… I don’t think anypony should have the kind of power he has. I don’t even like him being in the house. But let’s face it, there’s nothing I could do to stop him. At least this way I can see him. Sometimes… Even if I don’t know what I’m looking at…
Big question with a big answer after the break. Lots of information, though!
3) Lyra: And then you just speak into it. It already recognizes your voice, I just have to tag it when you’re done.
S: Very well then. Black Strawberry, I believe it was. Lovely to make your acquaintance. I understand you’ve come upon quite a collection you’re willing to part with. Canterlot, Equestria, and the Princess herself appreciates your willingness in this matter. Now, first things first; make no attempt to transfer the books yourself. This would create a massive security issue on our end as far too many factors would be left unaccounted for. As security is our utmost priority that would be undesirable. A number of high ranking and trustworthy individuals will aid in the transport of your library beginning directly from your place of residence.
S: With that out of the way, due to the sheer size of the collection you have amassed, ordinary payment would be quite an insult to you. Regulations place a very concrete limitation on purchases between the royal family and any financial transactions wherein that which was purchased was not an explicitly commissioned service; or in other words, goods. Thus, we are pressed to come to an agreement on some other form of payment for the materials in question.
S: To that end, I would like to begin the transaction by asking what you would deem a suitable replacement for legal tender in our bartering process.
4) Things are fine, but I don’t get to see him a whole lot right now. He’s super busy working on his doctorate. But if there’s anything in this world I can wait for, it’s him.
1) I swear to Celestia, if this is another grimdark tumblr…
… [Omitted]! Stop sending me this stuff!
2) Well, yes and no. Yes, waiting a little bit can give tempers a chance to cool and make apologies smoother and more sincere. No, you can’t just pretend nothing ever happened. Those can become these things called “grudges,” and those are bad.
Of course, I’m assuming the question is about if you’re sorry for making them mad. If you intentionally cheese somepony off to force them around or make a point, I don’t know what to tell you.
3) Oh my Cels, you ponies look for mysteries where there isn’t any! He doesn’t have a secret identity! B is his identity! The only reason he can’t tell you his former identity is because he’s supposed to be dead! How would you feel if your son died; you saw him buried. And suddenly, “Oop, he’s not dead. He’s been alive this whole time! But you can never see him again or acknowledge his existence because you might be targeted.”
4) “Oh, you know. Just hangin’ out on a volcano. Chillin’ with a dragon. No big.”
You kill me, Strawberry. For anypony else that would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. For you, it’s just “Oh yeah, there’s a blizzard too. No big whoop.”
Great to hear that you’re doing well!
—
Also, hello and bye to all the new followers I just got! Sorry if you thought this was a decent tumblr! It’s really not. Take care, though!
1) Hmm, implications. Would be interesting if GTA turned out to be more than just parts of a whole.
3) Well, what sinister plot could they be advancing? All they do is protect the country.
4) Once again, I’m not following.
5) … I don’t want to.
6) B: As far as anyone is concerned, you’re dead. Forever. Nopony can ever know who you once were. You lose your family; your friends. You have no home; no possessions. You’re on duty 20 hours a day. You can be called at anytime for an emergency. You have years shaved off your life expectancy, with the average being more than just a few.
2) … What in Luna’s Nightie are you talking about?
3) I didn’t say there wasn’t. You don’t fish for an answer very well, do you? Very opaque, my friend.
4) B: You don’t just become one of us with the clop of a hoof. There is a substantial training period. Things are revealed slowly. A possible promotion. The limitations are thrown upfront to deter those who may decide against joining somewhere down the road. More is revealed as things progress. Few ever decline by the end.
5) Yeah… Got a message with a little more detail than that on the subject… U~gh…
6) Because of your internet. Most ponies that use the ponynet just go directly to your internet. It’s so much less restricted. Why did so many pony blogs sprout up at once? That’s when we were allowed to start interacting with you!
7) Alright. I’d worry, but you’re like, super powerful. Plus you can teleport. I’m sure you’ll be around.
1) B: You think most ponies would choose to sacrifice so much out of a sense of justice? Once your time is finished you never have to work again. You’re taken care of for the rest of your life. As for how we manage with such little down time, I cannot say. I recommend not attempting it yourself.
2) You didn’t ask about the internet; you asked about the ponynet. We use the ponynet to connect to your internet. Once there there’s no way to track exactly what we do on your internet. We could only be traced back to various IP signals from around your world.
The ponynet itself is not a toy. Very few ponies are permitted to deposit information there themselves. Nearly everything there is technical information categorizing our world; hidden behind passwords and other various security measures. It wasn’t some college students’ project, it was created by government employees.
3) The vagueness of your statement gives me pause.
4) Oh! I was sitting here for like 3 minutes. I get it now! Taxes and Taxidermy! That’s funny!
1) W… What? I… What? I don’t… I don’t know. Knowing my trolling followers it would probably be something distasteful anyway.
Clearly I wouldn’t be able to post it. I wouldn’t even be comfortable hiding it behind a link. I mean I’d see it, obviously. If it’s good it’d probably get circulated around on… without naming anything, websites that circulate that sort of material. But, I guess that question is about me, huh? How would I feel? And I… I guess it would depend on the content. Sorry if that’s vague.
2) Look, I’m not going to pretend I’ve ever liked the look of… that, on anything. But human ones are just… gross.
3) B: But why the [omitted] does he keep asking me about movies?
B: Doubtful. The rules of our order are vague. Somepony who embodies laws and regulations would be ill-fit to handle the decisions we must make. The greater good rarely feels great or good.
B: A member of CUE may retire, but none ever have. A mental breakdown is possible, but has never taken place. Anything more specific I cannot say.
4) Before you ask, no, I didn’t have to censor that. I just didn’t like the content of your message.
6) Okay! Now you just have to wait for Hearth’s Warming!
7) Thanks anon who is obviously Strawberry!
1) Well, I must be just dastardly.
2) B: Our diet is largely regulated; no coffee. No caffeine at all unless it’s consumption is part of blending in during an operation. CUE operatives can never reveal their identity. That’s not to say we couldn’t meet at some point, you just wouldn’t know who I was. Maybe we’ve already met.
3) No. That’s a terrible pun.
4) Sorry, no. Changing something radical about the world can have unforeseen side-effects. It’s not something I’d risk.
Monkey Paw.
5) I think you accidentally part of the question.
And seriously? Nob-Nob? Does having a reversed personally also polarize common sense?
1) B: I don’t watch television or movies. I don’t play video games. I don’t read books. I don’t watch or play sports. I work for 20 hours a day. I try my best to sleep the rest of the time.
B: There’s a reason we only do this for five years before we retire. Though to be honest, I can’t imagine what I’ll do with the time.
2) Uh… I- The theme song? Not really familiar…
3) No. End myself, sure. But not everypony else.
4) No, I’m rebel scum.
5) Okay, but is thinking it’s icky really cause for a phobia? I mean, I’m afraid of bees and heights, but that’s because they can and have hurt me before.
And for the… the rape… I mean, wouldn’t that only be a fear for males? Ladies would already fear that. I’m just not following.
6) Eh. I love em. I mean, I really have no reason to complain. I’ve got into more than a few arguments, but the anons usually leave well-enough alone if I ask them to. Speaking of which…
7) Okay. Ha. That’s great. And, you know, I like to hide it a lot, but I do have feelings. Could you, you know, stop? I don’t want big meaty thighs. I want unremarkable thighs. I want thighs that nopony would have any reason to point out.
1) Who decides what constitutes being rich? Is wealth not worth working for? And if not, why ever strive for advancement?
No. I’m no fool. I’m just bitter because I’m poor.
2) I haven’t seen more than a clip or two but the answer is Freddie.
5) Okay! Not that you’d be able to tell the difference, of course.
6) It’s not bad. Kermit’s just a whiner.
7) Elite guards? You mean CUE? Their job isn’t technically to protect the princess. It’s to protect the country. Most of the things they do are handled before the public ever knows about them.
1) Well I don’t want you to cram. I’d rather you be at ease when I see you than shell-shocked. Great news about those days off, though!
2) She knew. I don’t know how long she knew, but long before I ever got wrapped up in things. As for when, that’s actually easy to trace. When she closed the borders between us and the griffon nation it cut both ends of the supply-line. Nothing to gain on either side anymore, so the gangs starved.
4) Of course not. You didn’t choose your life anymore than I did. You haven’t squandered opportunity anymore than I have. Those opportunities and their potential outcomes may have a difference of night and day, but you can’t control that anymore than the next pony. Live your life. Do with it as you wish, so long as you harm nopony but yourself. But if you live with regret or hate, you’ve nopony but yourself to blame.
5) No no. CUE certainly had an impact on my life, but B was never that involved. He was around, but he had different tasks to attend to. He’s just a friend.
1) I could maybe see for recreational purposes, but that’s one expensive toy.
2) I could be! But I’m not… It’s hard to type and dance at the same time.
3) Unaware? Why do you think it didn’t spread? Do you have any idea how much worse it could have been? What do you think caused it to end? Though it doesn’t seem like you know much of anything on the subject.
If it’s any consolation, the ultimate implications of the acts in question aren’t hidden. Be pretty hard to hide border’s between two countries being closed.
4) Heh heh, Big McLargehooves.
Eh-But I dunno. We’ve never spoke.
5) Okie dokie. Not exactly something I’d ever call a group of ponies.
I tried to find what a group of humans are called, but couldn’t find anything that wasn’t referring to a societarian collection of individuals.
6) You have to be a unicorn with a massive magical affinity and serve for several years in a regular branch of the guard. Then you have to be hoof chosen; there are no auditions. If you accept you serve for 5 years and then retire. When it’s over you can never work in any branch of the guard ever again.
Oh yeah, and if you accept you’re considered deceased. Even after you retire no pony can ever know who you once were.
1) Sorry, can’t fake enthusiasm. When you’ve hung around CUE as long as I have- it takes more than a few short-duration age spells to catch my attention.
As for the fate of Ponyville, I don’t think so. I’m sure Twilight’s reputation would have taken a hit if she couldn’t solve things before Princess Celestia showed up, but that’s about all that was ever at stake.
2) What you’re probably referring to is their face and size, I’d assume. And those differences are because, like zebras, they aren’t ponies. They’re still equines, but Arabians are horses. You’ll also note they have no cutie mark.
3) Eh… Don’t think my “stats” would translate very well into the Fallout universe. Probably safe to assume I’d just suck.
4) Sure was. Mostly it was nice to have a break from mining stone for Trixie’s stupid statues.
5) Thanks! I do my best between salon trips!
6) A powerful mage in her own right, but she lacks a solid foundation. She knows some more advanced spells that you wouldn’t expect, but she’s never gonna get much better without going back and focusing on the basics.
