Bon-Bon: Ugh eventually. They had us waiting in lines so long they stretched into parts of the building I’d never even seen before! There was a leak or something and for some reason Applejack just up and fixed it? I figured there would be legal issues involved with that in case something went wrong, but I guess she’s friends with the owner or something.
Lyra: Mmm.
Bon-Bon: Anyway it was wonderful once I got in… What did you mean “silly steam-whatever”?
Lyra: You know, that thing where you go into a hot, humid room and sweat for no reason.
Bon-Bon: There are a myriad of physical and psychological health benefits to a good steam! That thing you sit in front of a computer and stare at for hours on end is a-a “silly steam-whatever”!
Lyra: Well, I won’t argue. But my silly steam-whatever doesn’t involve sweating with a group of smelly strangers in an atmosphere that benefits the spread of infections.
Bon-Bon: You must think you’re so smart.
1) I remember you, and if you ever want to talk I’ll be right here!
2) Sorry if it doesn’t make any sense, I just thought it was funny.
3&4) Bon-Bon: She’ll be fine. She’s only just barely prehypertension. But it’s good that we caught this early.
Lyra: Prehypertension… This is garbage.
Bon-Bon: And the serving size on this box is just one. Will you stop eating Hot Pockets now?
Lyra: Yeah alright fine! This is ridiculous! How can I possibly be having too much salt!? I’m a pony! I didn’t even know we could get Hypertension!
Bon-Bon: And more water! I’ve been telling you for years you don’t drink enough fluids at all, let alone water!
Lyra: Aaaugh! I hate dietary change! I don’t deserve this!
Bon-Bon: Sorry you had to miss the show.
Lyra: Hey, no problem. Somepony had to, uh, deal with that stranded cargo. And one of us just had to be there. And I know that Liza wanted to watch the show, so it only made sense. I’m just glad that thing was so agreeable. Seemed like they were willing to forget the entire incident.
Bon-Bon: I’m sure quite a few ponies will be happy to hear that. Things cleaned up pretty nicely on my end as well.
Lyra: Nice picture by the way!
Bon-Bon: Thanks! It’s a gift!
Lyra: Great! We’re doing great! Everything is great! Yep, everything is- Nothing is broken.
Bon-Bon: Are you seriously doing that right now?
Lyra: What? I’ve had this question for like a week. Which is about how long we’ve been sitting here.
Bon-Bon: Oh my gosh…
Lyra: So yeah! We’re doing great! Great to hear from you! Thanks for aski- [Thunderous Boom] [Eldritch screech from a distance] Bon-Bon: Let’s move! Lyra: I’m on it!
Lyra: Because he doesn’t want to risk interfering with his sister’s life.
Bon-Bon: That doesn’t make any sense
Lyra: It makes perfect sense. He doesn’t want to be a burden.
Bon-Bon: That makes less sense. We burden ourselves with others everyday. He’s not even going to give his sister the choice?
Lyra: The choice is already a burden. She’s fine. It’s better this way.
Bon-Bon: Does it feel better?
Lyra: It’s not supposed to feel better. It’s selfless. It’s right.
Bon-Bon: It’s selfishly denying family an opportunity. If he would really drag her down, which I highly doubt, then it’s her right to make that choice.
Lyra: You don’t understand. You never grew up rejected. Shielding others from yourself is how you show you care.
Bon-Bon: No, Lyra. I don’t think you understand what it means to have a family. I hope you never deny me a choice like that.
1) Lyra: From me? Certainly! Probably not from Bon-Bon though.
2) And now it’s time for a very special reading of… The Meme That Never Was.
Chapter 1. Milhouse was walking home from school with his friend Bart. “Gosh Bart, those DE-motivational posters you showed me in computer class sure were funny!“ “Yeah,“ Bart replied, “But they’ve kinda gotten stale. They’re an old and tired meme.“ “What’s a meme?“ Milhouse asked. Bart raised an eyebrow at the question, but answered with a smile all the same, “They’re groups of funny pictures or ideas that are, you know, related.“ Milhouse’s eyes grew large, “Do you think I could be a meme, Bart?“ Bart laughed. “You can’t be a meme, Milhouse! No one person can!“ And with that Bart lighted upon his skateboard and sped off home. Milhouse stopped and watched Bart leave. But there was a fire in his eyes. “What if…“ He said to himself quietly, “What if…“
1) Wow! Thanks! Gosh it’s been a while since I’ve got a message like this. Sometimes I feel like nopony really cares anymore.
But yeah! Thanks!
2) Lyra: I can do a rear hoofstand for days, but I can’t do a fore-hoofstand.
Bon-Bon: I can! It’s easy! Tada!
Lyra: That’s great, earth pony.
Tootsie: I can do one too! TA-DA!
Lyra: What? But you’re a-
Bon-Bon: Ou! One-hooved!
Tootsie: Me- Woah. Me too!
Bon-Bon: Good job, Liza!
Lyra: I can see when I’m not needed.
Bon-Bon: One-hooved pushups! Liza do not try this. Tootsie: Okay! Bon-Bon: One! Two! Three! Fo-
1) [Sounds of Laughter]
Bon-Bon: Oh go dunk your head…
2) I’d heard the word before. Is it just sped up house/trance? That’s kinda weak.
3) Lyra: I do have a little kickstand up there with my horn, don’t I? By all accounts it should be easy, especially considering how big pony’s heads are. But no, I can’t.
Bon-Bon: I have in the past, and I’m sure I could now, but I’m not going to risk neck injury over it.
I made you and Bon-Bon in the XCOM 2 character pool.
In case you’re unaware, XCOM 2 has a new feature called the character pool, which lets you create characters in advance so that they can show up randomly throughout the campaign. Depending on how you set them to show up, they can be soldiers, scientists, engineers, and even “anti-VIPs” that you have to capture or assassinate in certain missions. It also lets you save characters you create in the main game so they can show up again in future playthroughs.
So far, you’ve appeared as one of my starting soldiers and became a sharpshooter. I admit I’ve done some savescumming to keep you alive. Bon-Bon has yet to to appear.
Lyra: Cool! I didn’t know you could do that! Can you, like, delete all the default stuff and replace them with all your own characters?
Bon-Bon: Aw, you even got my name. And I like that coat color!
Bon-Bon: You know what really bothers me about that, Lyra? It’s not that you lied. I’m honored that you’d devote so much of your income toward my business. You knew I would never ask that of you, but you went out of your way to help me financially. That touches me, Lyra. It’s not even that you tried to keep the truth from me for so long. I mean, it’s not like it mattered. I found out the very next day. But let me ask you something, Lyra. Do you think I’m stupid?
Lyra: No! I was-
Bon-Bon: Did you think I would just take what was given to me at face-value? That I wouldn’t research this grant extensively? This is my business we’re talking about. For lack of a better phrase, this is my life. I wasn’t about to risk some loophole ruining everything. I would have read every clause- talked to lawyers, financial advisers. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to get an audience with Princess Celestia, but you can bet your flank I would have tried! If anything I’m a little disappointed you didn’t put more effort in to cover your tracks. You’re a very lazy liar.
Lyra: So… You’re not mad?
Bon-Bon: Why would I be? You’ve given me something that few ponies ever have. Trust. That’s not something I take lightly. I feel like we’re really in this together, Lyra. I hope you understand how valuable that is to me.
