Bon-Bon: See? This is exactly what I’m talking about. Lyra: Uh huh. Bon-Bon: My Hobbies: I love sports. I love driving. I love taking a walk, comics, cartoons, shopping, watching movies, television, books, games, studying. Studying?! Who is going to pick studying? Music, internet, camera, videos, social networking- where is cooking? Lyra: Yeah. Bon-Bon: Lots of people like cooking, Lyra- it’s very popular! But driving? Taking a walk? How can you consider taking a walk a hobby? Lyra: Iunno. Bon-Bon:
Exercise is the word you were looking for and it’s a lot more involved than taking a walk!
And watching television? That’s a pastime not a hobby. Hobbies are constructive. Photography is a hobby, music is a hobby, watching videos is not a hobby! Lyra: Boy howdy. Bon-Bon: Boy how- Boy howdy? Are you even listening?
Lyra: I… am building a tower… out of titanium blocks. But I need… carpet. Bon-Bon: See? Now that’s a hobby! Work your mind! But this right here is nonsense and I for one am appalled at the very notion that-
Lyra: I come to a party to socialize, eat, and have fun. Not to work.
Bon-Bon: Lyra, why do you always do this?
Lyra: Do what? Complain about something stupid?
Bon-Bon: Complain about something when you had fun. You were laughing, and smiling, and having fun. The decorating was fun! All those things you came for you did while helping somepony decorate that massive foyer she inherited. You got to help somepony and enjoy yourself at the same time! What more could anypony ask for on Hearth’s Warming Eve?
Lyra: … Nothing… Though technically, it is after midnight.
Bon-Bon: Happy Hearth’s Warming, Lyra
Lyra: Happy Hearth’s Warming, Bon-Bon.
We won! Ya~y!
And here’s a picture of the main team!
Raindrops and B (not pictured) carried us through much of the early game. Blues (not pictured) and Vinyl did a lot of heavy lifting in the mid-game. Blossomforth and I were invaluable in the endgame. And Octavia maintained a strong presence throughout and participated in the most operations.
But overall MVP (and team leader) was Bon-Bon! She had a rough start and a number of early injuries, but by the last mission her accuracy was unparalleled. Her crack shots were the entire reason we won!
Lyra: We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! But-it’s-clearly-marked-so-we-already-know-who-it’s-from.
[Paper ripping]
Lyra: Look! It’s a letter from our friends! Mostly.
Bon-Bon: Mostly?! That’s a letter from Princess Twilight!
Lyra: I’m just kidding! Mostly. We’re invited to a Hearth’s Warming party at Twilight’s Palace! There will be food and decorations-
Bon-Bon: Actually, that says decorating.
Lyra: I’m sure it’s just a typo. So yeah! That was pretty cool. Not a bad day!
Bon-Bon: Are you sure you didn’t want to stay, especially with word that everypony is on their way back from the Changeling Kingdom? I’m sure Princess Celestia would have liked to hear your speech much more than an imposter. Lyra: She knows where we stand. Besides, it’s better if the Elements don’t know about our involvement when we can help it. Plus, I kinda like the idea of Raindrops being celebrated as a big hero that saved all of Equestria. Bon-Bon: Ha, she certainly deserves it after the courage she displayed.
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Quite an eventful few days. Lyra: Yeah. Feels like it was way longer. Ugh… Bon-Bon: Is your side alright? Lyra: No worse than Vinyl, probably. Did they get you any? Bon-Bon: Just a little dusty from when they blew the pillar up. Lyra: Lucky.
[Pause, Light breeze]
Lyra: B? B: [Deep breathing] Lyra: B! Where have you been?! All Tartarus was breaking loose in Ponyville and Canterlot! We needed your help and you were gone! B: Where…? I… was in the Crystal Empire… FIGHTING A [omitted] VOLTRON DRAGON MADE OF CHANGELINGS! [Deep breathing]
Bon-Bon: Uh… How did that go? B: Unsatisfactory.
[Violent gust of wind]
Raindrops: I’M NOT A DOG! Bedbug: Where did she-?! Ladybug: Up there! Raindrops: I’M A WONDERBOLT-! Bedbug: Ooof-! [Loud crash]
Ladybug: Hah! You think you’ve won?! You think my back’s to the wall?! You’re not even in the same league as me! Lyra: Ugh! OW! Ladybug: The days of friendship and laughter are over! This is our time! [Laser] Lyra: Ug-! Ladybug: And from the ashes of your burnt-out kingdom; a new hive. My hive! Lyra: Gah-! Ladybug: That’s right! I will be queen! And your descendants will be grain for my bread! Lyra: Ah-! [Thud] Ladybug: But you don’t have to worry. You won’t live to see it!
[High-pitched siren]
Lyra: TODAY OCTAVIA! Ladybug: Wha-? [Klang]
Ladybug: Uh… [Thud]
Octavia: [Panting] I liked that cello… Lyra: [Pant] I thought it was a double bass. Octavia: Don’t you get cheeky with me.
[Coughing]
Octavia: Vinyl! [Distant running] Vinyl, wake up! Wake up!
Ladybug: Fools! After you’re dealt with, we’ll just say you were the Changelings! Then, in an act of retaliation, we’ll personally march your entire military into our borders- into an insurmountable trap! You’ve only hastened your pitiful nation’s destruction!
Bon-Bon: Not if I can help it!
[Multiple lasers]
Bon-Bon: Lyra, they have me pinned down! What are we gonna do?!
Bedbug: Where do you think you’re going?! Raindrops: N-no- Bedbug: Don’t even think about moving, you dog! Raindrops: Oh-oh… kay… Ladybug: You move, dog, and you and your friends are dust. Raindrops: I-I won’t- Bedbug: Look at you. Spineless. Like a cowardly puppy! Raindrops: I’m… I’m not… Ladybug: Don’t worry, you mutt, you’ll be rewarded for your obedience. Bedbug: Sure! It won’t even hurt-!
Celestia?: … Lyra.
Lyra: That might be what my parents would have called me, but you named me yourself-! Luna?: This is ridiculous. Lyra: My real name is Liora! You can check the royal archives! Princess Celestia made my birth certificate herself! Luna?: Captain, you have not only endangered Equestria you have wasted precious time. We must mobilize the guard immediately. Our nation is being threatened by a foul plot!
Octavia: That wouldn’t happen to be all the planet’s nations declaring war on us in tandem, would it? Luna?: Ah… I… Guard: Princesses Celestia and Luna, you are hereby placed under the custody of the Equestrian Guard. Please come with us to holding.
[Pause]
Luna?: Did you think… Bedbug: Our queen wouldn’t have sent her best?!
[Deep echo]
Bon-Bon: The door! Raindrops: It won’t move!
[High-pitched siren]
Octavia: Look out! [Thunderous Boom] Lyra: Aaah-!
Luna?: Hard to imagine. Celestia?: The guard is already gathered. We’ll just…? Luna?: Captain! What is the meaning of this? You were given explicit orders! You are placing all of Equestria in danger!
Guard: I’m sorry, Princess Luna. This group arrived from Ponyville and urgently- Lyra:
Princess Celestia. Once upon a time you discovered an unattended
stroller and took in a baby. You could not take care of her yourself,
just as you cannot take care of every child in Equestria, but you gave
her a roof and saw that she was attended to. When the time came, you
insured that she was given the education that all ponies deserve. In a
perfect world, that pony would have grown up to be somepony important.
Lyra:
But that didn’t happen. She fell into a darkness and let it drive her
to do horrible things. Yet, you never gave up on her. I know it was
rarely easy. I know how frustrating it must have been. But you were
always there. You always gave her a chance to be more than she was.
Sometimes the right words didn’t come out, but in your heart… she was
never second. I… I just wanted to thank you… Thank you for saving
me.
Celestia?: Of course, my little pony. You were never a burden to me.
Lyra: There’s one thing I need to know, though. Something I have to make sure of. Princess Celestia… What is my name?
Guard: As you can see ma’am, they won’t be causing you any more trouble. Granny Smith?: Chained and muzzled? Now that’s what I like to see! Serves you harlots right! Attackin’ a poor old lady. Guard: If you could just step this way, ma’am. Granny Smith?: What? Guard: We need to have you checked out by a physician and document any injuries for prosecution while they’re still fresh. Granny Smith?: Well alright, but only so they can throw the book at you five harpies! I hope they make this quick. I need to get back to Sweet Apple Acres. Was just mindin’ my own business, shopping in the market, and the moment I round a corner- WAM! Clocked me like a tee-ball, they did. Is this going to take long? Well? Why did everypony stop?
Guard: Well you see, ma’am, when you walked through that magic disabling device it seems to have turned you into a changeling.
Hissy McFit: Oh… Could… Could I just go quietly and… non-violently? Thisss hasn’t been a great day for me… Guard: I don’t see why not. Hissy McFit: I really did get hit in the head. And then stuffed in a trunk. And that was just today. The other changelingsss in Ponyville were pretty mean too. Guard: Why don’t you get your thoughts together and tell us all about it in a few minutes? [Pause] Send a detachment to Ponyville and arrest the Elements of Harmony. Lyra, you and your friends are cleared for the throne room. All of you, spread word around the castle and secure the parameter around the throne room. Balcony included. The rest of you, on us. We’re going to bring two royal changeling imposters into custody.
Lyra: Thanks for trusting us enough to prove our innocence. Guard: Foalnapping was never your M.O.. Now, you understand we can’t imprison the Princesses without explicit evidence of their involvement. At best we can occupy the throne room and follow them against their will. Lyra: Yeah. This is the hard part.
Lyra: Funny, from where I sit upon the chest you’re locked in I’m feeling like this was a triumph. Don’t see your friends coming to look for you either.
Lyra: That kinda sounds like the problem, don’t it?
Hissy McFit: We don’t need friends! We control your country! We took every princess! And even if you somehow rescue them- hiss-! we’ll destroy Equestria!
Octavia: We hear your bluff, we’re just not sold on the tone alone. I mean, destroy Equestria? Really now.
Hissy McFit: If Queen Chrysalis sends the signal to the changelings posing as the princesses, they’ll declare war on every nation on the planet! Only- hiss-! they’ll make it look like Equestria is the one being attacked! The Equestrian Military will be split up and deployed immediately! By the time anyone in authority returns, it will be too late! Equestria will be doomed! Ha ha hiss-ha!
Bon-Bon: That’s quite a contingency… Octavia: Stopping the changelings posing as the Elements of Harmony is no longer the priority. Raindrops: So, we’re going to Canterlot to stop the imposer princesses? Octavia: If we can even reach them. No doubt they’ve heightened security to limit their exposure to the public. Lyra: I think I can take care of that.
Octavia: Vinyl-… Vinyl if you-… If you could just slow down a tad-! I can’t see a thing when you zoom the vision around like that! … Oh haha. Very funny.
Lyra: It all just looks like a lot of dreamscape nonsense. How does Princess Luna actually go in there?
Octavia: Different spell, different properties, I imagine.
Bon-Bon: Even when she holds it still I can’t make out anything. Lyra: It’s like watching one of those time-lapse videos, through a telescope, from a foot away. What are we even looking for? Octavia: Bare in mind I’ve only read about how this works when changelings are involved. Not much opportunity to practice it.
Raindrops: Woah. Bon-Bon: Everything went dark. Lyra: Did it break? Octavia: Changeling dreams. Inky, amorphous blobs that draw in anything healthy and absorb it. They can fool us in the real world, but they can’t hide the darkness in their hearts.
Lyra: So it is changelings. That’s a relief. [Pause] I mean, at least we can fight back without hurting the ones we’re trying to save. Right? Octavia: I’m not so sure. We’re three against seven. And that’s being generous. Raindrops: Don’t you mean five against seven? Octavia: I’m not counting ponies that can’t defend themselves. Raindrops: That’s… That’s fair.
Bon-Bon: So what do we do? Round up as many ponies as we can and rush them? Octavia: Ponyville ponies? If this were Cloudsdale or Manehattan perhaps. But Ponyville has about the meekest residents in Equestria. Lyra: What about Zecora? Bon-Bon: This is the last time we need somepony to get lost in the Everfree Forest. Raindrops: So what do we do?
Octavia: I’m afraid I don’t have the answer… The only way S.M.I.L.E. could have been compromised is if the Seeker Network was taken down. And if the changelings got that far… They must have the princesses as well. Which means they have control over the entirety of the EUP. Even CUE… Whatever course of action we take had better work… Because we may be Equestria’s last line of defense…
Octavia: Bonnie. Bon-Bon: Octavia. She checks out then?
Lyra: Her and Vinyl both.
Bon-Bon: Whatashame. Octavia: Likewise. Is this all you’ve managed to gather?
Bon-Bon: Of course not. It’d be too suspicious to have everypony together, so we- Octavia: Sent everypony away, to be prayed upon individually. You no longer have any indication they are or aren’t reliable. Possibly compromised any passcode distributed as well. Raindrops: Oh no… Octavia: Still haven’t taken any lessons from the past, Bonnie? Bon-Bon: Hey! We saw something you didn’t! Octavia: You acted first. I try to take a more informed approach. We no longer have that option.
Lyra: Stop it! Both of you! Whatever we’re up against; they took Spike! A baby! So unless you can clap your hooves and make it better- Octavia: No qualms with targeting children… Given their selective approach it sounds like changeling tactics to me.
Bon-Bon: I thought so too, but Lyra brought up mind control as a possibility.
Octavia: I can’t think of anything capable of that on so specific a scale. Targeting some but not others. At least, nothing with a motive. But it is something we can test for. Even changelings have to sleep.
Bon-Bon: Nyx Eye… But that’s a fairly advanced spell. We don’t have time to- Octavia: I think our DJ friend here can handle it, if she remembers how.
