Bon-Bon: There you go, all set up.

S: You have my gratitude, madam. First of all, thank you for your continued cooperation. Transporting operations will begin in the morning. Though I am not directly involved, I would estimate the relocation process concluding before the day’s end. The cargo will be handled swiftly, but with care.

S: Now then, different research teams are compensated at different levels. Your field of study would be a greater determining factor then any other, and to that end I’m afraid I have no basis to measure. CUE is not directly involved and I am presently in communication with you as an intermediary, nothing more. If accepted among the initial applicants, which in all likelihood you would be, then you would have the opportunity to ask any further questions to whichever individual team is interviewing you. I can assure you, however, that as a government position the benefits would be substantial.

S: Regarding the Celestial Unified Elite as an organization, I am not particularly comfortable with the level of transparency that has already been established. Of course, I understand the apprehension that some may feel at the notion of a government body keeping secrets from the public. But one must never forget that knowledge, as a tool, may be used as a weapon. And as defenders of this nation it is a priority to keep weapons out of the reach of those under trained, or undisciplined, to properly handle them.

Bon-Bon: A kiss, hmm? Haha! But I don’t individually wrap them. I just put them in a segmented container. I also can’t call them a Kiss, so they’re chocolate drops.

Bon-Bon: Lyra will eat a single potato chip. It’s kinda freaky; I’ve never seen anypony else do that.

Bon-Bon: Also, hi Lyra! Hope you’re enjoying yourself! The dog is doing fine without you! Love the pictures you took!

Bon-Bon: She has a second photoset queued for tomorrow morning, too!

1) Bon-Bon: Strictly candies? The molded, powdery stuff can be pretty tough. But outside of candy I have a pretty tough time with truffles for some reason.

Bon-Bon: … Wait, I think I misread. Oh. Sorry, I don’t give out recipes. That’s kinda how I make money.

2) Bon-Bon: Ha ha, okay, I think you win.

3) Phase-style like Disgaea or per character-style like Final Fantasy Tactics?

4) You’re not real.

5) I don’t own one, but I borrow one from time to time.

1) Nope. My nightmares tend to have closer ties with reality.

2) Interesting. So is it, like, an action game? An RTS? An SRPG?

3) Bon-Bon: Cooler than cool… is icing!

Lyra: No. Bad, Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon: Oh, don’t be such a… sour-tart!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, stahp.

Bon-Bon: You just wish you could be one of the… smarties like me.

Lyra: BoN-BON!

4) This is why I say things like “I don’t know a whole lot about government.” I know plenty about things I’m well-versed in, but stuff like this is completely beyond me. There might very well be an office dedicated to helping foals get their cutie marks. That’s really stupid if there is, but I honestly have no idea.

5) Whoops! My bad! Must be something in the water.

1) No… I mean, I don’t even have… Or… Does hearing and seeing things…? Are flashbacks hallucinations?

2) Bon-Bon: Are you kidding? I make candy!

Lyra: She mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.

3) Lyra: And then you just speak into it. It already recognizes your voice, I just have to tag it when you’re done.

S: Very well then. Black Strawberry, I believe it was. Lovely to make your acquaintance. I understand you’ve come upon quite a collection you’re willing to part with. Canterlot, Equestria, and the Princess herself appreciates your willingness in this matter. Now, first things first; make no attempt to transfer the books yourself. This would create a massive security issue on our end as far too many factors would be left unaccounted for. As security is our utmost priority that would be undesirable. A number of high ranking and trustworthy individuals will aid in the transport of your library beginning directly from your place of residence.

S: With that out of the way, due to the sheer size of the collection you have amassed, ordinary payment would be quite an insult to you. Regulations place a very concrete limitation on purchases between the royal family and any financial transactions wherein that which was purchased was not an explicitly commissioned service; or in other words, goods. Thus, we are pressed to come to an agreement on some other form of payment for the materials in question.

S: To that end, I would like to begin the transaction by asking what you would deem a suitable replacement for legal tender in our bartering process.

4) Things are fine, but I don’t get to see him a whole lot right now. He’s super busy working on his doctorate. But if there’s anything in this world I can wait for, it’s him.

1) Bon-Bon: Well, sure! Who doesn’t? Assume too much and you’ll embarrass yourself. Assume too little and you’ll embarrass yourself. We can’t be perfect!

Lyra: Of course, embarrassing yourself and feeling embarrassed are two different things. Things aren’t usually as bad as you think they are.

Bon-Bon: Like many ponies in Equestria, I took a nickname after I got my cutie mark. My birth name is Bonnie Bohun, of Canterlot’s Bohun family. Not the rich side, mine you, but we were well enough off growing up.

2) Have I been asked this before? Sounds familiar… Is this code for something, like that “stairs in your house” thing?

3) B: Of course you want compensation. Heavens forbid you do anything for the greater good without expecting something in return. But you’ll get your payment. I doubt it’ll be as much as you’d like, but Canterlot can only afford to hand out so much under freelancing circumstances.

I’m proud of you though, Strawberry. I know this couldn’t have been an easy decision to make. Thank you for doing this!

4) Depends on how you interpret “personally.” I spoke with dozens; held casual conversations. Had less savory involvements with others. Some of them were every bit the vile, merciless, scourges of society you’d expect. Others could appear normal enough. Sometimes you’d get the feeling that if things had been only a little different they could have been upstanding, charitable citizens. Maybe they even regretted it.

But then you’d see that expression on their face, and all at once death would be too good for them.

1) I think I just didn’t like the battle system, though to be honest it’s been so long I can’t even remember why.

2) Lyra: CC:GG!

Bon-Bon: Ennn… Ponyville is a smaller market. Black licorice is a little too niche. I mean, I could produce some upon order, but it’s not something I’d just stock. I’ve never heard of those jelly beans before. Frankly, it sounds like a pretty terrible idea. But then again I hate buttered popcorn jelly beans and I swear regular variety packs are full of them.

3) Oh certainly! I’ve been working on a pen and paper system of my own on and off for a little while now. Haven’t physically touched it much lately but I’m still rolling around ideas.

Also, if you were wondering why, I still consider that slang to be a swear.

4) B: If the idea is that no one will ever see them again, then there’s no reason not to destroy the copies and the originals, unless you want them intact so that someone can come along for them later. If that someone doesn’t wind up just being you.

B: Alternately, if you turned them in they could be researched, categorized, and stored in a much more secure location. Should the day arise that the contents are ever needed, as authorized by the royal family, they would be intact and easily located amongst the vast, restricted, royal libraries.

1) Bon-Bon: Haha! Well, I don’t know if anypony is eating the stuff, but candy corn is a pretty reliable seller around Nightmare Night.

Lyra: I like candy corn!

2) Well, there isn’t really that much to maintain. I’ve never had to replace anything on any of my lyres other than the strings, and I don’t physically touch them so even then only rarely.

I saw Battle Network being played quite a bit when it first came out. The combat style was completely uninteresting to me. The whole reason I played Network Transmission was because it didn’t play at all like Battle Network.

3) B: How very illegal for you to possess. Also convenient that you’ve no desire to share what you shouldn’t have in the first place. Though I suppose if you were responsible enough to realize that you wouldn’t be attempting to justify it. In vain, if you were wondering.

Strawberry, I thought these were just old spell books. B’s right; that stuff is outlawed and illegal to own. You have to get rid of them. Turn them in, destroy them, whatever you have to do.

4) I’m sorry, but I already know how to bowl! I’m not pro or anything, but I almost got a 150 last time I played. And that was after not playing for a lo~ng time.

1) Oh, I’m far from great; as things could certainly be better. I said I was close to spectacular.

2) B: The public doesn’t really know much about us. To be honest, I haven’t the foggiest what they think. PR had never been a concern in the past. I also wouldn’t call it fair to say we work outside the law.

3) Not that I know of, but ponies don’t talk about it much. I doubt anypony that was ever involved wants to be reminded of it. I certainly don’t.

If you live in Canterlot you’re either rich or you aren’t. I don’t know what hives in 40k were, but lower Canterlot is a notch above a slum. Narrow streets, closely-nit buildings that further obscure the sunlight, alleyways crowded with stuff their owners have no place to store but no pony would care enough to take. It’s pretty safe these days, but it’s never looked as good as upper Canterlot.

4) Sure! Ponies love theater and acting!

5) Not really, because that’s still reading. While it might hold my attention better, I just prefer things that I can directly interact with.

Trying to play the new Neverwinter Online game right now. It’s got some story stuff in it but I still get to smack things and jump around. Really hard to get immersed into the world, though. D&D proper is… pretty intimidating in size.

6) Bon-Bon: All kinds! You should drop by sometime and see what I’ve got! I can do special orders to! Just let me know what you’d like!

Bon-Bon: I’m not the best, but I’ve heard of a Bon-Bon that’s really gifted!

1) Lyra: That’s fantastic! I’ve always been interested in floorplans and layouts but I’m not very good at designing them.

Bon-Bon: I think he was talking to me.

2) Too many to count. Some I knew; some I didn’t.

The assailants were thugs, criminals. Insensitive and hateful. Not incapable of being civilized, but they found instant gratification and had no desire to change. As the gang tides rose and fell many would wind up died at the hooves of one another.

Not a very bright point in Canterlot’s history, but it’s changed since then.

3) Strawberry, if you copied all the [omitted] books for yourself, then why can’t you just copy all the copies?

4) I do not. Pianos are large, heavy, and expensive.

5) Both. Manipulation subtly alters string density and amplification shifts the sound traveling in the air before it reaches your ear (or a recording device). What you don’t want to do is rapidly shift the lyre’s pitch by it’s tuning pin or by applying improper pressure. That’s damaging to the strings.

1) Bon-Bon: Infamous? Like… bad? I don’t think so.

2) Afraid? Afraid?! I ain’t scared for [omitted]! But I’ve seen it happening and I-…

I don’t… I don’t know…

3) Ah yes; self-defense applications. Amplification to boost muscle mass and manipulation to shield your body from the adverse effects.

There is a certain level of control required, but you’d start to feel pain if you pushed yourself beyond what you’re capable of. If that’s not a good incentive to stop, it’s hard to maintain a spell when your concentration is compromised.

As for casting it on somepony else, yes it’s possible. And I imagine the results could be fairly gruesome. But amplification spells become weaker the further away they’re projected. Substantially weaker. You’d pretty much have to be touching the subject for about a full second for it to even start taking effect. For that matter, amplification spells would be considered a lot more expensive than most other options. It’s just not terribly efficient.

I’ll get to the lyre part later.

4) Bon-Bon: I’ve seen that one too! I like what he does! Just the act of going around and fixing fraudulent or inept work is fantastic!

Bon-Bon: Hey! Have you heard about this new show that’s starting soon? It’s called Renovation Raiders. They do huge renovations, like the ones that take a few days or more, but they do it in only a few hours while the homeowner is out. I can’t wait!

5) Unless you plan to give copies of those books away, that doesn’t amount to anything. Knowledge you possess doesn’t help anypony else.

And while I’m sure you were only joking, a spell like that would require knowledge of the subject’s presence. B is effectively invisible to scrying, even to seers. You’ve never even met.

B: Well… He’s never been aware of it.

1) Bon-Bon: Squid ink? Really? I’ll have to look that one up. I didn’t know squid ink was edible!

Bon-Bon: A lot of the shows I watch do both. Seems to be more popular than the simple redecorating shows from not long ago. There’s this one called Love It or List it? That one’s pretty cool. You get to see a lot of houses and they renovate the owner’s house. Then they choose if they want to stay in their newly renovated house or move to a new house.

2) Strawberry! There could be important, valuable information you’re locking away! B, help me out here!

B: I deal with immediate threats to Equestria. What some selfish waste does with his ill-gotten gain is none of my concern.

U~gh!

3) Yeah. I guess. I always found their flavor to be subtle, though.

1) I’m not “lots of people in your world.” I’m just… I’m not strong enough for that. I’ve been through a lot; but that’s too much.

2) Bon-Bon: Great! Yeah, I don’t really make any effort to watch all the episodes of any of those shows. Add in the home decorating shows and there’s just so many. I’ve seen Chopped too! I don’t see Bizarre Foods too much, but that’s probably because I don’t normally watch the Travel Channel. It’s interesting, though!

3) Oh… Well, and this might sound crazy, what if you contacted Canterlot instead and informed them of the location so they can transport and take care of the books? Wouldn’t want some vandal to come along at a later date and steal/destroy them.

4) I got commissioned once and made a little money, but he doesn’t even have an account anymore. Everything else I’ve just done to do them. At one point I considered it the x-factor for my tumblr, but I don’t even do them enough anymore for it to matter.

I’ll answer the second part of your ask in another post. It’s getting kind of late for me to be working tomorrow.

1) Bon-Bon: Oh! It’s no trouble! Just wasn’t expecting so many questions all in one message. The only reason I didn’t mention a few of the shows I watch is that they’re Equestrian shows.

Lyra: Drama shows. You know, the ones with the two-hour season premiers? Who has time for that?

Bon-Bon: Anyway. I watch entertainment-style cooking shows. I already know what I’m doing; I don’t need anypony teaching me. Sounds like it would be a good instructional tool though!

Lyra: I watched Iron Chef with Bon-Bon a few hours ago, and they forced the contestants to put peanut butter and jelly in their dishes. It was so stupid I couldn’t look away.

Bon-Bon: You were invested because it was interesting. They came up with some really creative stuff! I plan to try making strawberry jelly noodles myself sometime soon. It could be the next big thing!

2) A library? That’s interesting. Certainly not what I would have expected. What are you going to do with it?

3) A little. Applejack dated him for a while. Not sure what happened but I haven’t seen him around lately.

4) That’s probably why I like it. I don’t care for Friendship is Witchcraft. I do have to admit to not liking the new updated art-style, though. It’s a case of artistic direction perverting the environment. You can obviously tell she’s a robot now. Regardless of her not knowing she’s a robot, how has she not been arrested by the robot police if that’s what she really looked like?

5) Once again.

I don’t want to think about the latter, but it ran a sizable gambit.

1) It could. The only reason I stopped was from inactivity. Things were about to get more complicated (psychologically), so I waited for more messages. Only ever got a second one four months later. Took that as a sign there wasn’t enough activity to continue, and no pony would want to go back and read through all the updates. I could write a summery, but there would be a lot of subtle nuances left out that would impact things later on.

But yeah, I could pick it back up again, if I had a reason to believe anypony would care.

2) Huh? Why would you have been talking about me?

… Meta powers says, “No apology necessary.”

3) Playing by ear is a really hard skill. It’s not as common as some think. But I do several recordings of parts or sections, timing and counting out beats if it’s really hard, then overlay them. Factor in my field of magic and in theory, I could record just about anything as long as I had the sheets for it. Takes a lo~ng time, though. Lot of prep work.

4) I can understand that position; I’ve thought it myself for others before. Trouble is, I can just play simple things on my lyre and enjoy it. But the stuff I upload is work. I don’t enjoy doing them. I can enjoy the finished product. I can enjoy others enjoying it! But it’s work. Work is work. It’s exacerbating and exhausting and if nopony is going to listen to it, I’d rather just screw around and enjoy myself.

5) Bon-Bon: Goodness, you ask a lot at once! Well, I like Big Bang Theory and-

Lyra: That show sucks.

Bon-Bon: Hush. I watch Equestria’s Got Talent and Equestrian Idol. There’s all sorts of really great home decorating shows. Cooking shows like Bizarre Foods and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. I’ve watched a few cooking competition shows too. A few other shows here and there but nothing you’d recognize.

Lyra: We used to watch Stable MD together before it ended. A few CSI-style shows too.

Bon-Bon: I work professionally on candy; like I said I own my own business. But I find it’s helpful to the creative process to experiment with all types of food. The Cakes and I collaborate a little. Share a few secrets, combine a few things; you know.