1) Woah woah woah. If that’s all you got out of that post then you’re better off forgetting you ever read it.
2) I’m sure it was all supposed to be temporary.
3) …
Well, thanks anyway…
4) You’re up, B.
…
B: The letters have no correlation with who they’re assigned to. V is new; I’ve yet to hear of anything noteworthy about him. I don’t know that I’ve ever met the current X at all. He and V are two of the new ones. T’s nickname is Tick. Most of the nicknames are associated with animals.
B: P is a little strange. P is supposed to be Panda, but he wants everypony to call him Peacock. There is no Q of CUE; there’s only twenty-five of us. I don’t recall Z being sleepy. I is pronounced in conversation as one. U is pronounced as either “oo” or “un.” How big is giant? Most, if not all of us can cause ourselves to expand at least a little, it’s just never a wise decision to make yourself a larger target.
5) B: Yes. Alphabet. As in Human English alphabet. The ponynet may be relatively new, but we’ve known about you humans for quite some time.
6) B: Well, there’s a reason everypony says D is a [omitted].
He really is. When does he retire?
B: Next year.
You know, I could give Sweetie Belle some lessons in wrestling.
1) Should I? Does it update or something?
2) I guess CUE would be more like Majestic 12, but it’s not like they’re secretly running the country. They just protect ponies from the things they don’t need to worry about. No pony should have to live in fear.
3) B!
B: Why do you want to know? Huh? What difference would it make to you?
B! Get.. off!
B: I’m watchin’ you.
4) Princess Celestia was never elected.
5) Well, if I’m performing, that means I’m making money. And considering my less than ideal financial situation, I’d have to pick that one.
6) Evidently it’s not the knowledge itself, but proving the possession of the knowledge…
Don’t ask.
7) I guess so. When you get older your reflexes get slower. You don’t want to lose control and accidentally crash into somepony, possibly hurting not only yourself but them too.
8) That sounds like a good idea to me! I’ve been trying to help her with boxing, but another martial art would be great!
Sorry, everypony. I got behind. Going to take a while to catch up.
1) Sorry. I don’t have any experience with insomnia. I used to have Hypersomnia but it seems to have mostly gone away. Do you have anything to add B?
B: Yeah. Quit [omitted] and count yourself lucky.
2) Neigh?
B: I suppose “buzz buzz” would be appropriate.
3) B: The [omitted] is that?
I don’t know. I think some of my followers are under the assumption I speak this human language called japanese.
4) Oh, okay.
5) Such is the difference between somepony with power and somepony without.
Of course, these days I’m capable of defending myself.
B: Within reason.
Within reason.
6) I looked it up, but the game is still in alpha. Why are you using explicit past tense on a game that hasn’t been released yet?
I have not, though.
1) No. I’m fine. Just… uh… stuff.
If you have any questions about CUE, though, evidently I can answer them now.
2) B: Impersonating an officer of the law is a serious offense.
Oh, and uh… B will be around sometimes now too.
No seriously. Change your password, Lyra. Don’t just change the 0 to a 1. Change your password, you idiot.
Lyra Edit: Go the hay on, B!
Might want to change your password, Madam Melodrama. (Animated)
By having a smile. Also by having good posture, sitting in the front row, doing volunteer work, getting exercise, and practicing extensive hygiene.
B: See? I like this guy.
Lyra Edit: Real cute, B.
1) B: We were never involved in any official capacity, no. We knew better than to try. Too different.
2) B: Oh, I’m sure.
3) B: My apologies; I thought we were having a conversation. I wasn’t aware you were just raving like a mad mare.
Kinky.
1) B: There isn’t even a B in my real name.
2) B: If you’re asking why I don’t like you, it’s because you have too much power for somepony that wields it so carefree.
3) B: Actually, yes.
B: And, Lyra, I would like to take this time to note that I am not saying we’ve ever had sex, as per your request.
1) B: She and I have come to a number of understandings over the years. Mostly I’d just rather her not be dead. I don’t have very many friends anymore. This job takes up most of my time and all of my identity.
B: Any outside friends or family I used to have think I died two years ago.
2) B: Stupidity like that is how I’ve become so jaded.
3) B: I have a difficult time grasping how you came to that conclusion.
4) B: What do you mean, the shapeshifter?
5) B: Must be some kind of computer code. I’m not that great with computers.
1) B: No.
2) B: I used to be a guard, yes. And B is code, right again. It doesn’t stand for anything, though. I am B because I replaced the last pony that was B, just as they replaced the last pony that was B. Every year a small portion retires and a few more are brought on.
3) B: And yet you receive it anyway. Police forces are the only reason gangs don’t go house-to-house busting down doors, taking whatever they want, and killing anypony inside they can’t use, whether they resist or not.
B: And if that’s bad news for you, if you’re a criminal yourself, the guard still protects you. We’re the only thing stopping some would-be vigilante from going out and planting one between your eyes for lifting their air conditioner.
4) B: She’ll get over it. I screw with her as a friend and she knows it.
B: We are employed by Princess Celestia. We work for Equestria.
B: Observe, communicate, report, and then take action if necessary.
B: And since that answer is short and boring, here’s a message Lyra had left in her inbox for some reason.
Lyra Edit: Nothing here.
1) B: Sure, sure. That parking ticket gets you real upset, until you’re the one that needs help.
2) B: You’ve misunderstood. Regular ponies that carry evil tendencies aren’t our concern. It’s the guard’s duty to maintain order and protect the princesses. Our job description is a little more narrow, but that focus is how we handle the larger threats.
B: But to directly address your question, Tartarus is a prison. Anything outside of Tartarus is a larger threat to worry about.
1) B: You step into Tartarus more than a few times and you start to see what evil looks like. You can see it in their eyes- in the way they move. And then you start to see it everywhere. Evil is a state of mind, and it’s a little too common, even now.
B: But generally we leave the darkness in the hearts of ponies to the guard. We have larger threats to worry about.
Lyra Edit: The nonsensical musings of a bitter, old stallion who thinks himself above the rest.
2) B: Human moves around like a robot.
B: Just sounds like a lot of noise to me, more so than most of the noise ponies call music. I’ll let Lyra see it when she gets back. I’m sure she’ll probably have some young, hip view point to impart.
Lyra Edit: Certainly not something I’d just sit and listen to, but I can see the appeal, yes.
1) B: I believe the whole point of Lyra leaving somepony else in charge of her blog was to allow her and the bear to have some time together. Wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense if he was the one answering for her, now would it?
B: You may refer to me as B. Or Bee of you feel like unnecessarily spelling something out for no reason.
2) B: Oh, that was a special occasion. We met in a dimly-lit, classy little alleyway where I dragged her, at the time, skinny little [omitted] out of an open window and arrested her for breaking-and-entering and attempted theft. She didn’t put up much of a struggle; I think I may have hurt her pride a little more than her tailbone from that landing. Oh, and imagine my surprise when I discovered she was a repeat offender.
Lyra Edit: I still remember your sweet, sweet eyes that evening. I wanted to tear them out of your skull.
