1) W… What? I… What? I don’t… I don’t know. Knowing my trolling followers it would probably be something distasteful anyway.

Clearly I wouldn’t be able to post it. I wouldn’t even be comfortable hiding it behind a link. I mean I’d see it, obviously. If it’s good it’d probably get circulated around on… without naming anything, websites that circulate that sort of material. But, I guess that question is about me, huh? How would I feel? And I… I guess it would depend on the content. Sorry if that’s vague.

2) Look, I’m not going to pretend I’ve ever liked the look of… that, on anything. But human ones are just… gross.

3) B: But why the [omitted] does he keep asking me about movies?

Just finish reading the [omitted] wiki.

B: Doubtful. The rules of our order are vague. Somepony who embodies laws and regulations would be ill-fit to handle the decisions we must make. The greater good rarely feels great or good.

B: A member of CUE may retire, but none ever have. A mental breakdown is possible, but has never taken place. Anything more specific I cannot say.

4) Before you ask, no, I didn’t have to censor that. I just didn’t like the content of your message.

5) The movie? Should I ask how?

6) Okay! Now you just have to wait for Hearth’s Warming!

7) Thanks anon who is obviously Strawberry!

1) Clearly nothing. You made pretty sure I’m incapable of doing anything with this new-found pointless form, so nothing.

2) Celestia bless the smouldering remains of the cavity that once shielded the world from your vile heart.

3) Probably not very well. I mean, prices vary so much depending on where you live.

Edit: Thanks, Kay.

4) I’d seen drawn pictures but never a photograph. Looks frightening and disgusting. Like a… Like a leech.

5) [omitted] it, Pink! Why in the name of the moon would you say that?! You knew I’d have to look it up! Ugh! U~gh! Nasty!

6) B: That information is classified.

1) Well, I must be just dastardly.

2) B: Our diet is largely regulated; no coffee. No caffeine at all unless it’s consumption is part of blending in during an operation. CUE operatives can never reveal their identity. That’s not to say we couldn’t meet at some point, you just wouldn’t know who I was. Maybe we’ve already met.

3) No. That’s a terrible pun.

4) Sorry, no. Changing something radical about the world can have unforeseen side-effects. It’s not something I’d risk.

Monkey Paw.

5) I think you accidentally part of the question.

And seriously? Nob-Nob? Does having a reversed personally also polarize common sense?

1) B: I don’t watch television or movies. I don’t play video games. I don’t read books. I don’t watch or play sports. I work for 20 hours a day. I try my best to sleep the rest of the time.

B: There’s a reason we only do this for five years before we retire. Though to be honest, I can’t imagine what I’ll do with the time.

2) Uh… I- The theme song? Not really familiar…

3) No. End myself, sure. But not everypony else.

4) No, I’m rebel scum.

5) Okay, but is thinking it’s icky really cause for a phobia? I mean, I’m afraid of bees and heights, but that’s because they can and have hurt me before.

And for the… the rape… I mean, wouldn’t that only be a fear for males? Ladies would already fear that. I’m just not following.

6) Eh. I love em. I mean, I really have no reason to complain. I’ve got into more than a few arguments, but the anons usually leave well-enough alone if I ask them to. Speaking of which…

7) Okay. Ha. That’s great. And, you know, I like to hide it a lot, but I do have feelings. Could you, you know, stop? I don’t want big meaty thighs. I want unremarkable thighs. I want thighs that nopony would have any reason to point out.

1) I wouldn’t think so.

2) B: I haven’t. There are some similarities based on this synopsis, certainly. However, the key difference is that we aren’t assassins. While taking a life is sometimes unavoidable, particularly with dragons, we do everything in our power to spare the lives of all those involved. Death is not an acceptable punishment; just a last resort in order to keep our country safe from those who cannot change.

3) Sounds good to me! I hope they continue the plotline to its long awaited end. It would be a shame to turn it into one of those forever adventures that never go anywhere.

4) Only one Billy I know of that could have sent that message…

5) I don’t hate anypony based on their species. I might have to resort to unfair judgements under short-term conditions, but you don’t even have to prove to me that you’re a kind person for me to change my opinion.

Just that you aren’t out to kill me.

6) Huh.

I mean, it’s none of my business either way. I just never thought about it before.

1) B: You are dumb as a board and twice as entertaining. Too bad boards aren’t entertaining or you’d be in business.

2) B: Hey stupid! It’s the question about the thing!

I haven’t seen it!

B: She hasn’t seen it.

3) B: Got a list here. You, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Krastos, Krastos’ brother Harry, Sweetie Belle, Rarity is marked as a maybe, their parents, Tootsie Flute, her parents, York, Black Strawberry, Fuse Light, and something called a “Sexxi Bby” whatever that is.

B: I won’t be present. Unless I need to be.

4) B: She’ll let you know who actually shows up, I’m sure.

5) B: I’m just helping out while she and the household are busy getting ready. But I do check her account from time to time.

6) B: Hey stupid-!

I said I hadn’t seen it!

B: No, the other one!

That doesn’t have just one definition!

B: She needs more clarification.

B: Oh, and I’m supposed to link this song.

1) B: I don’t know the first one, but sunrise for the second. Not that she’s ever up early enough to see one.

2) B: Sounds like the opening to a playset commercial.

3) B: Why are you asking?

4) B: And how exactly do you plan to distribute this theoretic blight of boredom?

5) B: That was funny.

6) B: How does she deal with this [omitted] every [omitted] day?

I always figured B was farther away. If he’s not, you might need more indication that it’s him since this is transcribed

a bit confusing; I figured B was always smaller (unless he was clearly going solo), but sometimes you can figure from context. Sometimes.

no, i could tell.

Okay. Wow. If anypony couldn’t easily tell right away which of us was talking, everytime, without fail, then I gotta do something. I don’t want anypony thinking I’m rude because of him.

B: It’s your fault for caring.

So, as you can see, B will now have a bold B: tag before his lines. I’ve also added the Bee of CUE tag to every instance since he started hanging out where he speaks so if you were ever confused or something sounded out of place you can go ahead and check to see who was talking.

In other news. I’ve had my computer wiped and switched graphics cards and my computer is still crashing (I’m in safe mode right now). I don’t know what’s wrong with it, my computer friend doesn’t know what’s wrong with it, and I don’t have the money to replace it, let alone play “guess which part is broken.” So… I’m sort of dead in the water here. I can’t do drawings. I can’t record music. I can’t even listen to anything with sound in safe mode.

All I can do is reply to messages once I turn this thing off and switch to my laptop (can’t do it here because the resolution is screwed up and everything is stretched out). So… That’s where I am right now. Felt like I was really starting to do better with this tumblr thing, but it’s out of my hooves.

1) You mad? You mad. Look at mad. So mad. Drippin’ mad. Just mad as mad. Mad everywhere. Lookat all dat mad. Trackin’ in da mad. Mad all ova da place. Just mad mad. All dat mad. Just mad. Who mad? You mad.

Mad.

…

Mad.

2) Oh yeah. That’s what gets me goin’.

B: …

And this isn’t funny to you.

B: Would it be funny if it were reversed?

Pfft. Get over it.

3) -ou wanted to say somethin’?

B: I’ve always liked conspiricy theorists. Makes it harder to pick out which improbable things are true.

Makes your job easier?

B: Not as much as you’d think. Just a personal preference.

4) Shut up, baby. I know it.

5) B: I was talking to the filly beside me. I don’t even know you.

6) I don’t think anypony’s ever asked me to rate their music. I have a few videos or links submitted to me now and again, but I rarely post them anymore unless something in particular catches my eye.

I’ll reply to just about any ask, but submissions are subject to closer scrutiny.

7) I found a short article about this Black RX, but based upon what’s there, he wouldn’t stand a chance. I get the feeling there’s more to it than just that, though.

P.S.: You guys can tell who’s talking, right? The big/small is just how far away we are from the mic. Usually I’m closer, but sometimes B is. Is that confusing or can you tell who’s talking?

1) B: Arresting officer? Is that how you see me?

B…

B: You certainly hold a grudge, Lyra.

That was a long time ago. Before I even moved to Ponyville. B is just a friend.

2) It’s fine, Strawberry. We’re cool.

3) Sorry. I have no money and I don’t have Steam. Sounds like a deal, if anypony else is interested!

4) Like, just us? We have lunch together now and again. She, I, Boscov, Tootsie, Sweetie, and the dog all went to the beach not long ago. Or… Or did Tootsie go…? I know she was there when we went bowling.

5) Always an option, I suppose. Just, you know, clean up afterward. Don’t litter.

6) Okay!

…

…

…

I’m back!

7) I think you missed and grabbed B.

B: … What? Now I pretend something’s happened and overreact?

[Audible sigh] You suck.

B: It just isn’t funny.

1) Not what I was looking for, but good enough.

2) Alcoholism.

3) B: The [omitted] should I know? I don’t even know them.

You’re the one they asked.

…

B: The [omitted] should I know? I don’t even know you.

4) B: Yeah, I bet you did.

I had a lovely night, Boscov. Thanks for making me feel better.

B: Yeah, I bet he made you feel better.

You are how old?

5) Strawberry, I do go back and read anything that B answers. Thank you for trying to comfort me.

6) Old games were good. Never really cared for the comics. Show was okay.

…

Pizza time!

7) It’s called consolidation.

The computer trouble saga continues as I have my computer wiped and the troubles persist! Hardware issues are the best issues!

1) Eh. Makes sense. You know, in that doesn’t make any sense sort of way.

2) I guess if you use “your” enough you’ll eventually get it right at least once.

3) B: I’m not gonna chastise the colt for trying to do the right thing.

4) B: So does everypony.

5) There’s all kinds of websites about how to recycle old VHS tapes.

6) I’ve beaten Contra without dying, but probably Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. Blaster Master was pretty tough too.

7) Uh… Yeah. Okay.

1) B: You mean the one that tried to comfort his friend? Yes. Shame on him. He should have done what you’re doing.

2) B: Be glad I got to this ask and not Lyra. For the first portion, allow me to direct you here. For the second, the notion of grimdark derives from there being absolutely no hope. Things certainly didn’t go well for that filly, but she made it through. She found the light at the end of the tunnel and followed it out. Well, mostly.

3) B: Not being Lyra, I’d be fairly confused. Figured her demographic was a little younger.

4) B: She knows you meant well.

5) B: When I heard she made friends with a griffon, I was more than a little surprised myself.

6) B: Pretty sure Lyra doesn’t believe in ghosts. I believe in spirits, but you don’t want to hear about me.

7) B: I can’t tell if you’re calling Lyra a social justice… whatever. Or what exactly you’re doing.

1) Now? What happened to dinner?

2) If she and Tootsie are interested, I could see about that.

3) Not exactly what I had in mind. And it looks like you already knew the answer anyway.

4) …

Nothing.

…

I’m sorry.

5) Sure! Not tonight, as I already have plans, but we can arrange something!

6) …

I have to go get ready. B, can you…?

B: Sure, Lyra.

…

B: Until the day comes, if it ever comes, that you fully understand what that mare’s gone through, it’s best that you don’t compare your life to hers. There are more complicated and painful things to live through then accidentally killing a friend.

1) I don’t think it’s illegal.

2) Technically twice. I went to bed in the A.M. Then I had some stuff to do around town this morning.

3) Pretty young. Wasn’t forced to or anything, but… Well I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

4) Stop asking stupid questions.

5) Hulk Lyra’s friend.

6) Seems to.

7) I know this one. They’re usually shorter words, like Ant, Bee, Cat; that sort of thing.

B: Z is Zander and U is Urchin. You were right about S being Snake, though. From the reports, he does a lot of negotiations these days.