Bon-Bon: Okay, so adequately explaining the mood we were walking into during the wedding requires some context. So-

Tootsie: Is this the pirate story?!

Bon-Bon: Yes, this is the pirate story.

Tootsie: I love the pirate story!

Bon-Bon: I know. I know. Okay, so. Well over a thousand years ago there lived two orphan siblings- a brother and a sister.

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1) Bon-Bon: Well, uh. Indirectly? I would say the world would have indirectly been in danger, had we failed.

Lyra: Hold up. After everything I’ve been through, I never saved the world. You’re saying you did?

Bon-Bon: Indirectly.

Lyra: Excuse me, I’m going to go bury my head in the dirt.

2) Lyra: We got hea~a~arts; hearts strong as horse~s!

Bon-Bon: Ugh. Half the town has been singing that song since Saturday. I mean, it’s an alright song. Great work by the fillies for making it up. But all day in the shop it’s like every pony that happens by is singing or humming that song!

Lyra: We’ve got de-ter-min-ation; to rep-resent the nation- For. The. Wi~n!

1) Bon-Bon: Now now. That’s just cruel. Surely something at least half as awesome a series of events, that stretch well beyond imagination, will happen eventually. You know… Somewhere.

Lyra: … A bunch of vines from the Everfree Forest spread throughout town and wrecked up the place.

Bon-Bon: Poo. Who told you?

Lyra: Carrot Top.

Bon-Bon: Never cared for her much…

2) You really want to know?

3) Lyra: Everypony in Canterlot was pretty worried about it. I seemed to be the only one that paid little heed. I guess being undaunted by theatrics has its downsides.

Bon-Bon: Good heavens, no! We would never destroy a priceless artifact! It wasn’t even enchanted. It was more like… Well… I guess like a key.

1) Bon-Bon: Well, we already had a relic of sorts, so I’m going to go with the second one.

2) What? The griffon thing? What does it matter?

3) Sorry. The same thing happened to me too.

Oh! Did you get to the market and the ham-ham behind the glass? Using Scrit-T there was my favorite part of the game!

4) Simple can usually be trusted outside, but once he got out and herded a group of foals into the yard and wouldn’t let them leave.

Pretty funny looking back, but some of the kids were crying.

1) Sweet potato casserole! Woo!

Sorry about Black Friday; I went out myself. I don’t usually risk it, but I needed a new mattress. Seventy percent off and a twenty year warranty. Pretty much determined what I could afford.

2) First of all, why do you care? Secondly, how many times to I have to answer? I already said yes.

3) Lyra: Ham-Hams Unite? Well I had some issues personally, but it was an alright game. I definitely enjoyed it!

Bon-Bon: You’re freezing! Go in the other direction!

4) Absolutely! Of course, it would have been a lot more genius if collecting the words wasn’t the whole game. I mean, You don’t even use a bunch of them. Also, I feel Hamtaro and Sandy have poor characterizations. Which was a shame, because all the others were spot on (near as I can remember anyway)!

It was also missing that certain duality that the show had; switching from Hamtaro and his friends, to Laura and hers. I mean, the humans weren’t even in the game.

5) Somepony talking about a show other than Doctor Who? On this website? Unheard of.

Simple is a Blue Heeler. I think they usually call it something regional in your world. He’s beautiful, playful, smart, obedient, and very active. So very active. There is no way I could take care of this dog by myself.

1) What? I don’t watch Doctor Who.

2) Bon-Bon: Enemy camp? Wha- What does that mean? Oh! But I bet Lyra would be interested in that last part!

Lyra: …

Bon-Bon: You get it? ‘Cause your music and… Ugh, what a face on you.

Lyra: I’m gonna bite you.

3) Bon-Bon: You’re getting colder.

1) Bon-Bon: Honestly, I don’t know whether to go along with this or stick to the truth. They’re both winding up pretty funny!

Lyra: It’s not the truth!

2) Well, a princess would have martial training, wouldn’t she? I’m sure she can do more than just toss a toy.

3) Bon-Bon: Not in the traditional sense, but going to go with a yes.

Lyra: What does that even mean?!

4) Speaking of things with cryptic meanings… You mean the Everfree Forest? What about it? There’s always things to beware from there.

5) It’s easy to focus on the bad in the world. I try to find something positive to think about instead! Like children learning! Or how happy everypony is on payday!

Of course, you could try to take up a cause and fight for change. But you shouldn’t feel like you have to. Those can be long battles that you may fight your whole life for and never win. It takes a special kind of pony to do that. Sorry to say that I’m not one of them.

1) Bon-Bon: You might say it found me.

Lyra: Don’t get sucked into this. It’s just another elaborate troll.

2) Working hard or hardly working?

3) Lyra: Oh! I put strawberry throat lozenges in a colta-cola once when I was sick! That was really good!

Bon-Bon: I don’t think that’s at all similar.

askanormalpony:

（●´∀｀）ノ*✿✧

Lyra: Bon-Bon, what do you call this?

Bon-Bon: Oh hey! I had forgot this was taken! Gosh, I don’t remember being so roughed up.

Lyra: No.

Bon-Bon: You know, we still had another two days before we reached civilization again?

Lyra: This is fake.

Bon-Bon: And even then we were far from out-of-the-woods.

Lyra: This is a mock up.

Bon-Bon: Ah memories.

Lyra: I refuse to believe this.

Bon-Bon: It was pretty unbelievable.

Lyra: Stop it!

Bon-Bon: Hmhmhm.

Lyra: I don’t know. What are the repercussions of altering the events of a book? I guess I wouldn’t know the answer to that before being thrust into the situation, though…

Bon-Bon: Probably nothing. I mean, I don’t have any special skills for that situation.

Lyra: Then why do you own your own whip and fedora?

Bon-Bon: Oh Lyra… If I was ever going to answer that I would have by now.

B: Assuming I was able to identify anything in this situation, I suppose I would act.

Bon-Bon: Act…?

B: Act.

Lyra: I got it! I would Blue Skidoo back out of the book!

Bon-Bon: W… What?

Lyra: Hey! If Blue Skidoo; we can too!