Spectacular.

I’m sure you won’t mind paying for my food, insurance, medical. Hey! Why don’t I just retire and stay at home all day on tumblr while you work for the both of us and still don’t get any! After all, I’m a magical unicorn, I could beat the poop out of you if you dare refuse any whimsy that happens to cross my mind!

I get the strangest sense that you didn’t think this through.