1) You caught me. I’m not really a pony. I’m actually a pygmy elephant.

2) You know what? Yeah. I’m a virgin. I believe that wraps up your one-track line of questioning.

3) How half baked of you to say. This and the previous answer are brought to you by the National Foundation for the Advancement of- You’re Trying Too Hard.

4) I wish I made A’s back in school. Thanks though!

5) I’m not commenting on this unfounded accusation.