1) Being alpha is a consuming chore. I’d rather do something to enjoy myself.

2) You and most of Ponyville.

3) I… Suppose it’s possible.

4) Oh hey, it’s this message for like the forth or fifth time.

5) The abscess or the horse?

I don’t know of anypony ever named Carbuncle, and as far as I know the condition doesn’t exist in Equestria. Or if it does, it’s called something else.

6) What part of “I live in Equestria” are you not getting?

7) I was asked once before and I sort of joked about it, but I figure if I’m being asked again I might as well answer. We use both forelegs!

Two bent forelegs, outstretched but pointed downward (as though a heavy weight tied around the hoof is weighting you down) is rock.

Two straight forelegs is paper.

One bent and one straight foreleg is scissors.

8) I was only a thief out of necessity. I stopped because it was no longer necessary.