1) Sorry, everypony. I think you’re all gonna be in danger.

2) You can never call me that again. That’ll certainly help.

3) I answer these questions in the order I get them. According to tumblr I got this question twenty hours ago. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Be more specific.

4) Well, you’re a financial success now. If you can’t help yourself or your family, maybe you can donate a small portion of your profits to help others so they don’t have to suffer the way you and your family have.

5) Go behind the waterfall, then talk to the guy there and wait for three minutes. Then… Wait. No. Sorry, there’s no way to become a pony. You have to be born this way. Magic could transform you, but eventually it would run out.

6) The last place you look.

7) I believe ponies telling me situational things over the internet.

8) Because sometimes words have other meanings and you’re not meant to know them until you psychologically mature more.

You’ll just have to accept that answer for now.