They do have female condoms.

1) I thought the part after you took two steps forward with me on your back and fell flat on your face was pretty funny. Sorry again for laughing, but I did warn you about the weight several times.

Humans are kinda weak. It’s like they have difficulty even lifting their own weight or something.

2) How about I turn you into a newt? Or you know, any of the other things I could do as a witch to defend myself. There’s a reason why a “witch hunt” is flat-out stupid while a “wild goose chase” is only pointless.

3) Oh absolutely. Things have been going so well, it’s high time I did something idiotic and [omitted] it all up to [omitted] like a stupid son-of-a-[omitted].

I swear, it’s like you ponies want me to be miserable.

4) What a terrible name.

5) I like jumping!

6) The potential for being trampled, I would think.

7) Nah. That doesn’t sound like her. She’s usually pretty level-headed. Although, she is the sort of pony that the saying “Hell hath no fury like that of a mare scorned” came from.

8) Huh. You’d think I’d have noticed something like that in a drug store by now.