Answers after the break.

1) And that’s when I grabbed him by the foreleg and shoved his hoof in his eye.

2) That’s a human joke, isn’t it?

Or is it a joke because I’m not human?

3) Not even going to bother.

4) Not entirely sure who you’re talking about, but if it’s that gray, rosy-cheeked earth pony who’s name escapes me, I don’t think he’s fat. I think he just has an Endomorphic body type.

5) I initially figured as much, but it seemed very deliberate, not like a mistake.

6) I’m a little deaf in one ear, you’ll have to speak louder next time

7 & 8) It’s almost like in a horror movie where the main characters suddenly realize it was one of them the whole time. Only not, because I control what you say.

If I feel like telling everypony that all you did was send a message that said “I’m a little pegasus, short but spry, give me a pinch and I will fly,” and the other message contained instructions to bleep out both messages and elongate the first to make it look like it said more, that’s my business and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Srs bsns.