1) Good morning! Or what’s left of it anyway.

2) Well… I don’t want to tattle on her, but evidently at some point she had placed both of your children under an overturned playpen and even tapped it down. Your son was able to generate enough lift to pick the playpen up off the ground, tape and all.

Also, he accidentally slapped your bath faucet and broke it clean off. Gonna wanna watch out for that right hook.

3) Stupid adverts are getting more evasive everyday.

4) Excuse me?! What are you accusing Mrs. Cake of?!

5) For the love of- [Sigh] Hasn’t somepony already given a genetics course on tumblr? It’s just as reasonable to believe those two foals are in fact his. When one recessive trait comes up, life just has a way of rolling a few more. You may also note that the foals share neither of their parent’s eye colors.

6) Tempting, but I’ll have to decline.

I’ll be sure to watch over Spike from now on. Been shut up in this house too long anyway.

7) No.

Granted it is pretty rude for ponies to constantly bring up and mock you for how you choose to type, but you’re kinda mean.