1) I’m just saying, all this mention of fire kinda makes you sound like a burnout. Or an arsonist.

2) I’ll admit, after I read about what this means, it was kinda funny in a perverted way.

But, I mean, Jefferson Davis was no Nero. Why are you expecting me to know who this random American was? Forget your audience?

Also, spoilers, I don’t think things ended well for the south.

3) Sure! You lay down flat and I’ll throw a bowling ball at you.

4) I wore a pair of pants once, for a Nightmare Night costume. And even then they weren’t jeans. The line just doesn’t work; the cultural divide is too great.

5) I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder all night, haven’t I? Guess that makes me too cool for you.