You want to have this out right now? With me sick as [omitted] and medicated into a haze? You disappear week after week and you choose now to press me? Fine.
I don’t know what the [omitted] I want anymore! I thought I did. I was positive for an eternity. But I don’t know anymore…
The idea of just traveling with a band from place to place, without a care in the world for anything… It was an escape. It was an escape from the reality that I’m stuck here. Or stuck there. Or wherever I’m assigned to go!
I never wanted to leave the castle! I was told months in advance about being relocated… And it still came too soon! I never wanted to come to Ponyville! I… I hated this place! And that escape? That little notion of abandoning it all and getting out? That’s what kept me going!
But… Things changed… I have friends now… Real ones. Or, at least I hope real ones… And Sweetie Belle. How could I ever leave her? She’s my life now… She reminds me so much of myself… I have to make sure things turn out different! I can’t let her live through the horrors I faced!
And Krastos… he isn’t just a nice bear, he’s a family man! I’ve seen him with foals and… [sniff] I wish I could be like that… I’ll be honest, I don’t love him as much as I’ve loved in the past. But I feel like I can! I really do! Please don’t take this the wrong way, Krastos… You make me feel… like… like-
[Cough] [Cough]
Like the world isn’t such a dark place…
But you? Now you’re a teacher here in Ponyville now? You actually live here now? I wouldn’t ever have to wake up and you’d be gone?
…
Now that I could actually be with you… I don’t know that I want to… I don’t know that I ever wanted to… You were always perfect to me. The perfect escape. But now I don’t want to leave, and you couldn’t take me if I did…
…
It’s not fair… It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to you…
[Sniff]
That night… When I looked out the open window to the courtyard far below? It was you. That perfect escape is what I held on to. You’re the one that steadied my nerves… You’re the reason I’m here today.
[Sob]
And I’ll never be able to thank you enough for it… You really are perfect…
[Sniff]
But I can’t have you… I could never love you like a pony. You’d always be that thing; that idea that saved my life. I could never, and can never find any fault in you…
And that’s not love… That’s worship…
…
I’m sorry…