[Doorknob turn]

[LOUD VIBRATION]

Lyra: Ahgh! Ga-ha-hod! My head!

Bon-Bon: Well you really did it this time, Lyra.

Lyra: Go away!

Bon-Bon: What did you just say to me?

[LOUD STOMP, House shaking]

Simple: [Barking]

Lyra: Celestia NO!

Bon-Bon: Sit! I can’t believe you came home drunk knowing full-well that Tootsie was here. She had never seen you drunk until today-

Lyra: Somepony kill me…

Bon-Bon: -Nevermind the loud bass you had shaking the house all last night. What in Tartarus happened? I thought you stopped drinking.

Lyra: I ran into my ex-coltfriend at the train station.

Bon-Bon: Which one?

Lyra: Which-? The one that’s not in prison or dead!

Bon-Bon: Don’t you raise your voice at me. If there was no excuse for your behavior last night, and there isn’t, then this morning isn’t even on the scale. Now I want an account of your actions, if you can even remember.

Lyra: I saw my ex; his whole team was there.

Bon-Bon: The soccer player. And how was he?

Lyra: Oh he was polite and very apologetic for our past relationship and wanted to make amends.

Bon-Bon: Really?

Lyra: NO! He was a complete [omitted] [omitted] with two mares hanging off of him, said he was surprised I could even land a job, and implied that the most important thing I’d ever do with my life was get [omitted] by him! So I went on break, threw up in the bathroom, finished my shift, got drunk, came home, got smashed, went to sleep, woke up with a hangover a few hours later, said “[omitted] it I don’t want to deal with this right now”, got smashed again, blacked out, and then woke up to a mare kicking my head open!

Bon-Bon: Kicking a door open. Well let me fill some things in for you. When I got up with Tootsie to help her get ready for school, we found you wailing some song I’d never heard of over-top of a completely different song I’d never heard of. Tootsie was worried. She thought you were sick.

Lyra: Where is she?

Bon-Bon: At Sugarcube Corner. There was no way I was bringing her home in the state I left you in. I’m very disappointed in you, Lyra. You know you’re better than this. Now get up, it’s almost time for your shift.

Lyra: I’m not going.

Bon-Bon: Oh, we’re not even starting that. You’re going to work like an adult, and if you have to deal with a little hangover then you may consider that your punishment. Now you have five minutes to get out of that bed or I come back with pots and pans and start the longest, loudest drum solo you’ve ever endured in your life!

[DOOR SLAM]

Lyra: Gah-ha! [omitted]!