1) Having resided in decidedly unpleasant living conditions, I have no interest in immersing myself in an imaginary iteration. If that makes sense.

2) Oh havens no! Wrestling is dangerous!

I like boxing.

3) I was friends with her right here on tumblr.

And I was three out of four of those things myself growing up. Shouldn’t be hard to see how I can relate.

4) … Heh heh…

Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh.

No. That’s silly.

5) No, because that sounds like one of those jokes that violate personal space.

What’s a 1950s? Haha. I love doing that.

6) All Hail The One True Maize!

7) My Eyeballs.

Can’t really do things quick when I answer this stuff in the order I receive it.

1) Wait, what? Carnie? Like Carnival folk? Is that a rampant problem?

2) How about Mumm-Ra-’ve already done this joke.

Could always go back to the tried and true.

3) Not in particular. Doesn’t sound very wholesome.

4) Why would anypony working in erotic videos go by an alias that sounds like or contains their name?

5) I don’t know anything about the comic. I don’t know anything about Persona 4. I don’t know anything about Persona. Heck, I don’t even know anything about SMT outside of Nocturne and the little I played of the MMO. And Nocturne was sort of an alternate dimension deal, so it had little to do with SMT proper.

I was excited at first, but SMT4 doesn’t look interesting to me. I think I might have just liked Nocturne rather than the series.

6) Wouldn’t that be “To make Hell look worse?” Or is this commentary on segregation?

7) Not something I’d advertise. Littlest Pet Shop just means less room to house the animals, which would mean a smaller selection.

1) Oh no you didn’t! Winnie the Pooh is braver than a-a bee! And smarter than a tree! An-and just you wait! In the last Kingdom Hearts game he’s going to be the final companion and he isn’t even going to fight enemies will just fall to their knees and weep in apology and he’ll forgive them because he’s cool like that!

Oh, and you’re stronger than you seem.

2) Okay. That just means you’ll be surprised.

3) You can read whatever you want. Just don’t apply it to me.

4) Spoiled children, rotten though they be, tend to not be that flippant about the life of another. Takes a few years.

5) Well, Lyra Dancer would be interesting. I’d never go by Slow, or anything other than Lyra, though. I’m Lyra and I like being Lyra.

6) I’ll make you a coffin.

7) This is just about the only thing I will never so much as comment on.

Ever.

8) You must really want me to say… neighgatory.

1) Woah woah woah! I said I didn’t do very well. But that was mostly because I rarely had time to do homework. And I didn’t flunk out of anything, thank you very much! I left for personal reasons. I could go back!

2) … Okay. I could have saved you some time on that, what with the horns, wings, abnormal strength, and heightened intelligence.

3) Magic can be used to generate heat. Does that count?

4) We speakin’ in whale?

No thank- Nnnnooooo tttthhhhaaaaannnkkkk yyyoooouuuuUUU!

5) Welp.

6) Excuse me? (Caution: rewinding the video leads to explicit language/adult situations)

I know you’re trying to get me to… reply with an antonym to yes, but you’ll have to work for it!

1) Fine. I’ll just drink your milkshake.

I DRINK IT UP!

2) I might have been willing to share, but you can bite me.

Krastos might tell you what I made him, if you ask.

3) I know. I had aspirations once. Hard to imagine now, huh? Good on you for remembering that, though!

4) Not that I know of. Background checks, I’m sure. Evidence of enough income to pay for the adoptee’s well-being. Maybe a house inspection, just to prove there’s a place for them to stay. I don’t know for sure, though. Was always on the other side of the matter and never really got that far.

5) Likewise, it can be heard to tell that there’s anything about your world that isn’t dark and nightmarish.

But there’s more to a lake than its surface and there’s more to a book than its cover.

6) Uh… huh… Well, going back to your original question, I don’t really have any thoughts on him. Just sounded like some guy that did some stuff. Doesn’t really involve or interest me.

7) I already don’t care for abridged/parody-style works. From the one episode I managed to sit through, the characters are one-dimensional and uninteresting, like pretty much every abridged/parody.

To me, it’s not the destination. It’s not even the journey. It’s who you took the journey with. And if those characters are just engines to tell a joke, then the jokes had better be incredible. They weren’t.

Congratulations, Fluttershy. You’re the new Twilight.

1) Really? Never thought I’d see the day a civilization was so excited at the notion of being effortlessly forced into unconditional surrender.

2) No. You’re misunderstanding the scenario. You don’t get to choose at what point in your life you get placed into my situation. The only way you’d be in my situation is if you were born as me. And if you were born as me you’d have experienced life the same way I did and ultimately become me giving this very explanation.

I know what you meant, though. But-

3) Guess that’s why it’s nothing more than a quote. Means no more than anypony is willing to give it.

4) Oh… kay. You drop nukes on yourself because they live where you live everywhere on your planet. Great job, commander.

Ponies and griffons don’t get along as groups, but individuals are individuals. We’re permitted to behave however we feel. And Gilda’s really the one putting herself out there by surrounding herself with ponies. She’s really very patient.

5) Well, I like Garfield Minus Garfield. But I like Family Circus more than regular Garfield. But the few times Garfield would go on some sort of atypical adventure, he and Odie could be revealed as fairly intricate characters worthy of empathy. But those were so few and usually pinned by other authors.

It’s way more complicated than it has any business being.

6) This is me acknowledging that I received the message but am not commenting on it because you deliberately did nothing more than reiterate your already argued point. Don’t expect me to give you the same privilege again.

1) Person, place or thing?

2) Well, I had a nanny for at least part of that time. Or so I’m told. Don’t remember much from when I was that young. Pony/human development doesn’t really sync up time-wise.

3) Just looks like photo manipulation with text thrown on.

Although, you had me rollin’ at Ladylike Fruit Snacks.

Oh my! It’s nightmare night-themed axe-murderer angel food cake!

Or how about some neurosurgery corn-on-the-cob?

4) No. Nope. Not at all.

5) Aren’t those folk legends of sheep origin?

Well, I’m glad my hasty [omitted]-uppery could be of assistance, sticky-buns.

Fixed by the way.

1) And who does get to make that decision? You, who weren’t even present? Get a real stance or expect to be left unanswered. As one can imagine, I don’t care for the subject.

2) Walked right into that one, didn’t I?

3) Probably not, as I don’t care for the source material and I typically listen to the source around fifty times during the process of recording. Plus, it’s missing the notes for the lyrics, rendering it incomplete. But my disposition can change with the breeze; I’ll hold onto it.

Also, what the [omitted] tempo is “deceptively happy?” Is there a swing to that?

4) No you wouldn’t. If you were in my position you’d be right where I am. Because you’d be me.

Do feel the need to remind my followers that mental asylums aren’t really around even in your world anymore. Patients that require continuous monitoring and care, both mentally and physically, typically live in a specialized wing in hospitals, if not with family.

5) Who? I mean, I recognize the name. I’ve heard it before, but…

6) Okay… When I do a search on Circle Family I get links back related to healthcare. And wouldn’t Lasagna Cat just be Garfield?

7) Griffons are rare in Equestria because they don’t like us. From your perspective, think about if the majority of chickens in your world became sentient, fought back, and raised their own country. To griffons, the staple of their diet was suddenly (at least from a historical standpoint) crippled. In all the time that’s passed since our ascension, they still haven’t recovered.

1) Hey! Hey!

[Omitted] you. You weren’t there. I decide what happened.

2) I wouldn’t even dignify such a comment with an argument, as that would acknowledge the position as a valid stance rather than the nonsensical ramblings it is.

3) Judging from this page, no. Not even remotely.

4) Because humans aren’t that strong. There might be a rule against it, too; I dunno.

5) It’s alright. Sort of a running gag at this point. And at least you called me patient.

6) Because I’d cry.

After droppin’ you like a sandbag.

7) Act your age.

1) No. And neither is this, but at least it’s funny (Warning: Strong Language).

2) Aw. It used to be Vega, so I’ll count that! I like Dudley, though. Not that I’m any good at Street Fighter.

3) I might lose my cool.

4) Nah. It’s a scam. That candy isn’t free. There are hidden fees. Foals! Ask your parents about hidden fees! And parents! It’s never too early to sit your foal down and explain hidden fees! They are a dangerous, but naturally occurring part of our economy!

5) Nothing but good vibes as far as I can tell! Great track!

6) Of course! Was there ever any doubt?

7) Is it just me, or are colt bands more… forward than they used to be?

1) Well I don’t want you to cram. I’d rather you be at ease when I see you than shell-shocked. Great news about those days off, though!

2) She knew. I don’t know how long she knew, but long before I ever got wrapped up in things. As for when, that’s actually easy to trace. When she closed the borders between us and the griffon nation it cut both ends of the supply-line. Nothing to gain on either side anymore, so the gangs starved.

3) The origins of the phrase are funnier yet, if you consider how anypony could ever use it seriously.

4) Of course not. You didn’t choose your life anymore than I did. You haven’t squandered opportunity anymore than I have. Those opportunities and their potential outcomes may have a difference of night and day, but you can’t control that anymore than the next pony. Live your life. Do with it as you wish, so long as you harm nopony but yourself. But if you live with regret or hate, you’ve nopony but yourself to blame.

5) No no. CUE certainly had an impact on my life, but B was never that involved. He was around, but he had different tasks to attend to. He’s just a friend.

6) Looks like somepony needs a reminder.

Turned out to be a good game! Little disappointed at that last call. It looked like holding to me. But that was pretty good! 49ers almost made it back! And they had a tremendous recovery either way! From 22 down to 3! And they closed that gap in half a quarter!

Good game!

Okay, when the offense has the ball they pass it to the quarterback who either passes it to somepony else (who is considered a receiver) or runs it themselves. The goal of the offense is to get the ball, in somepony’s hooves, in the opponent’s end zone (Touchdown). Which side of the field they head towards switches after halftime. That’s the brightly colored part at either side of the field with the goal posts.

They only have four chances to do it every 10 yards, though. If they fail to either get those 10 yards or make the goal, then wherever the ball is, the defense becomes the offense and it’s their turn to drive the ball to the opposite side of the field. That’s why you see punts or field goals on 4th down; it’s the offense’s last chance to either get a point from their drive (Field Goal) or put some more distance between the ball and their own goal (Punt).

Defense just tries to stop the offense. Defense can’t hit a receiver while they’re trying to catch the ball (that’s pass interference), but they can hit the ball, tackle somepony on the ground with the ball, sack the quarterback (just means to tackle them before they throw or run), or catch the ball themselves (Interception).

A single touchdown is 6 points. After a touchdown the offense has one last play to either make another touchdown or take a field goal (kick the ball between the goal posts). A follow up field goal is an additional 1 (total 7) while a follow up touchdown (Two-Point Conversion) is an additional 2 (total 8). A stand alone field goal is 3. Once the stand alone field goal or touchdown follow up is over, the defense gets the ball (via a punt) and becomes the offense.

That’s the basic jest of it!