So, I had an epiphany yesterday and have decided to turn this into a regular blog.

It will be about the only kind of video game with any merit; Shooters! But not just any shooter. Online Shooters you’ve probably never even heard of so can’t possibly relate to!

So sit back while I yammer on about Blacklight: Retribution, Firefall, and Warframe; using condescending terminology that you couldn’t possibly comprehend unless you already played the game!

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1) Satisfying.

2) How about something less derivative?

3) No. But if I did, I’d wave it around most unsexually. When appropriate.

4) I’ve seen a few. Has a sort of Superjail vibe to it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to work very well. The pilot for it was pretty good.

“Oh no. Undo. Undo.”

5) Hey! That’s not fair! It’s perfectly fine to play pretend. An escape from reality can be very refreshing!

6) Simple is fine. Doing what I can to keep him active. Blue Heelers need a lot of exercise.

7) Poor, home-entertainment recording quality. Sorry.

Lyra meets Easy Pete and remembers common knowledge that!

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askdashanddo:
“ Oh, Lyra… this ball doesn’t talk!
-Rainbow Dash
”
Was worth a shot!

askdashanddo:

Oh, Lyra… this ball doesn’t talk!

-Rainbow Dash

Was worth a shot!

Meeting Victor the Robot!

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1) Not very. Hard to swing a bat.

2) B: Any purpose can be made nefarious, if taken to the extreme. We exercise restraint.

3) B: Not at all. Most decline right away, or take it as a joke. And that’s fine.

4) B just sort of shrugged and left. He’s never had a problem with Simple, though.

5) I wouldn’t know.

6) Being insulted is stressful. And stress doesn’t discriminate. It can hurt anyone over anything.

Choose Your Own Adventure: New Vegas

Exposition and heading out into the wastes after the break!

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1) Hmm, implications. Would be interesting if GTA turned out to be more than just parts of a whole.

2) I preferred Sonic Adventure over the sequel in just about every way. Cept for Epsilon’s missions. Tails/Eggman’s mechanics from 2 were more refined. And Harbor Metal.

3) Well, what sinister plot could they be advancing? All they do is protect the country.

4) Once again, I’m not following.

5) … I don’t want to.

6) B: As far as anyone is concerned, you’re dead. Forever. Nopony can ever know who you once were. You lose your family; your friends. You have no home; no possessions. You’re on duty 20 hours a day. You can be called at anytime for an emergency. You have years shaved off your life expectancy, with the average being more than just a few.

B: Limitations.

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1) Neither. I just ignored you the last time you said that because it sounded so stupid. They’re just a national defense force.

2) Li'l Brudder?

3) Yeah… Gonna go be sick in the corner now.

4) You mean to say the only reason we die is because we accept it as an inevitability?

5) No thank you. You go on ahead.

6) Looks like this will be a regular thing, at least for a while. Already got the second one.

7) Assuming you’re talking about GTA: SA. Can’t see how any of that would be able to hold a candle to Little Jacob, though. I was so expecting them to reduce him to incidental character once you did all of his missions, but they kept him around all the way through the ending and it was a much richer experience for it.

Even if that last mission was unfairly difficult.

Submitting due to a text limit

Also kinda long so I put it after the break. I’ll put my reply up here, though.

That is the stupidest anime [omitted] I have ever heard in my life. The Crystal Empire is the most highly protected, but also the most sought-after provenance in Equestria. To expand it would only make it a bigger target for malicious forces. But if Princess Cadance really wanted to, they could just make the protective bubble bigger and turn more of the arctic into habitable land.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: New Vegas!

This is pretty long, so I threw it after the break. I answered everything after the Strengths/Weaknesses, though!

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1) Good ol’ George.

2) … What in Luna’s Nightie are you talking about?

3) I didn’t say there wasn’t. You don’t fish for an answer very well, do you? Very opaque, my friend.

4) B: You don’t just become one of us with the clop of a hoof. There is a substantial training period. Things are revealed slowly. A possible promotion. The limitations are thrown upfront to deter those who may decide against joining somewhere down the road. More is revealed as things progress. Few ever decline by the end.

5) Yeah… Got a message with a little more detail than that on the subject… U~gh…

6) Because of your internet. Most ponies that use the ponynet just go directly to your internet. It’s so much less restricted. Why did so many pony blogs sprout up at once? That’s when we were allowed to start interacting with you!

7) Alright. I’d worry, but you’re like, super powerful. Plus you can teleport. I’m sure you’ll be around.

Good luck!

8) I see! Thanks! That explains this too! Sorry for the late reply!

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1) I’m sure upon review the Cutie Mark Crusaders will recall snickerdoodles, seeing as I’ve given them some before.

2) And?

3) Is that how this is going to end in 14 days? Well, guess I got nothing to worry about then!

Aside from the freak snowstorm.

4) Nah. I don’t like the spin their reporters put on things.

5) Then maybe I would have. If I’d gotten that far before getting tired of it.

6) I wouldn’t expect there to be. It’s a constellation and I’m a pony.

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1) Sounds like a band name.

2) So that’s what I was doing wrong. Thanks, Intro Voice!

3) I can’t believe I didn’t tag this properly.

4) Well, that certainly puts a damper on things. But sure, go ahead! Unless you were the one that sent that other ask I haven’t answered yet and you wanted to do that instead.

5) Contact the guard? Probably contact the guard.

6) Oh really now? An entire civilization’s history on war, weaponry, disease, medical practices, development, populations, military outposts, water reservoirs, military training, average civilian condition, farming, trading, transport, caravan paths, port locations, government capitals, urban centers; and you don’t think there’s much that can be used to somepony else’s advantage?

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1) B: You think most ponies would choose to sacrifice so much out of a sense of justice? Once your time is finished you never have to work again. You’re taken care of for the rest of your life. As for how we manage with such little down time, I cannot say. I recommend not attempting it yourself.

2) You didn’t ask about the internet; you asked about the ponynet. We use the ponynet to connect to your internet. Once there there’s no way to track exactly what we do on your internet. We could only be traced back to various IP signals from around your world.

The ponynet itself is not a toy. Very few ponies are permitted to deposit information there themselves. Nearly everything there is technical information categorizing our world; hidden behind passwords and other various security measures. It wasn’t some college students’ project, it was created by government employees.

3) The vagueness of your statement gives me pause.

4) Oh! I was sitting here for like 3 minutes. I get it now! Taxes and Taxidermy! That’s funny!

5) We failed. Bon-Bon was gettin’ down, but the hustle is too long and complicated for me!