B: Consider your residence back under your ownership. Any animals that were once there are not any longer. No traces of any chemicals were recovered either. No obvious structural damage was reported, but if you find any it will not be covered by the Equestrian government as you were not a taxpaying citizen at the time of the incident.

B: You are not to be found in the sole possession of any unapproved creatures from this day forward. You are not to be found in the sole possession of any unapproved chemicals from this day forward. No structure under your ownership is to be found trapped or enchanted from this day forward. You are not to be found preforming magical experiments outside of designated, government-funded facilities from this day forward.

B: I can reveal very little about the operation and it’s results. Something happened, which resulted in something happening. The building and it’s surrounding area are now considered safe for entry. I would recommend, however, that you choose to live in a more populated area for safety’s sake. But that is legally up to you.

B: Consider S’s part in this over. No one ever looked into your report. Your claim was dismissed because your house was never confiscated. No one from Canterlot even knew it existed.

B: You are to tell me where you lived, and you are to maintain a vast distance from the location. I repeat with the authority of Princess Celestia herself, you are not to engage.

Listen to him, Strawberry. There are things that-

B: Not another word.

…

1) What’s fim?

One of the most interesting things about humans is how different they are. You aren’t hamsters. It’d be like if a show about cartoon dogs were all the same shape.

2) Hmm… Interesting. I think the answer is probably more complicated, though. The orderlies lost a war to her, right? She’d have to be self-contained then. And from this post; Defty Hooves doesn’t sound like one of the orderlies. Just seems to me like there’s a lot more going on. I just have no idea what.

3) I don’t think we could if we tried. Sorry.

4) And that at least makes sense within it’s own setting. But if your setting is a high school, how can there not be a single scene involving an active classroom?

There was one song I liked, though. That sounded like a real pep rally cheer.

S: [Audible sigh] Well, now that he’s gone, allow me to try and re-record this.

S: I, of course, meant no offense to you as a pony. You were merely preforming your job, as was described to you, and to the best of your ability, I’m sure. However, that does not alter the facts that lay before us. The very formation of the group you belonged to was a horrible idea, even for its time. It was unregulated and lead to a number of other, similar organizations as members came, went, and continued their work elsewhere. The repercussions of which are the subject that began this very dialog. It was a immeasurable breach of security and due to its goalless, unguided nature yielded little to nothing of practical value by its eventual and merciful closure.

S: It was a large expenditure at its time and a failure overall. By today’s standards, it was downright criminal (speaking from a legal position, of course). Tens of thousands of bits are spent annually to this day in efforts to recover the dangerous, inefficient, and sometimes incomplete spells produced and distributed during that time. I can only assume its founding and operation was a combination of misinformation and numerous oversights. However, that is not the subject of this discussion and I only add such a digression in direct reply to your notably defensive comment. I mean you no disrespect, but this was most certainly not “necessary at the time.”

S: As a potential legal witness, I’m going to pretend I never read that second paragraph, as there is very little contained within that is not incredibly illegal. It also does not touch upon the only subject I requested information on; the act of entering. You only mentioned exiting during an automatically activated emergency (which, to me, sounds like a fire escape hazard for a single resident). At this particular moment, I’m lead to believe your residence was seized due to the contents found within, which would make it very difficult to overturn. As vague as you were, these are not things meant to be under the ownership of a single, unregulated individual in an isolated environment.

S: However, either before, during, or after his rather large, loud, and considerably vicious rant, B relayed that he still required some sort of timetable for this series of events. Did it happen a month ago? Possibly a year? Several years? He considered this of at least moderate importance from his tone. I had difficulty following his somewhat unexplored line-of-thinking, so I myself cannot explain exactly how or why this may be of value. But, regrettably, I would consider whatever he may have in mind your most likely chance of recovering your home at this particular juncture. My condolences in that regard.

1) I read this thing once about this “inner thigh cutie mark.” I laughed forever. It’s so completely ridiculous, and yet so incredibly creative. How does anypony even think to make something like that up? I like that one because, while a little adult, it’s mostly benign.

There are some ponies that seem to think your world’s culture is comprised entirely of American/Canadian and that you only have one language.

2) But why a line of toys designed as that particular age group marketed toward foals? Adults I can understand, but why an age where most still live with their parents and have to go to school? For that matter, why design it around school at all? Don’t kids hate school?

3) Fortunately for me, I like first and third pony shooters. So even if it’s garbage I can still play it. It’s just the “period accurate weapon” ones I hate. I don’t want to fire an inaccurate weapon that takes forever to reload and keeps jamming. That’s annoying. I’m trying to have fun, not get an authentic experience for murdering others.

I don’t really play JRPGs anymore. I used to be really into them. I think the last one I played was a pirated copy of Etrian Odyssey 3. Which was okay, but the pace was so dreadfully slow. Very grindy.

The only sports games I liked were the arcade-y ones. I don’t even understand the more accurate ones. Why don’t you just watch sports if you like it that much? Aren’t there recordings going back decades? Or better yet, play it yourself!

4) Bon-Bon: Well, I’m certainly not trying to change your mind or anything. I was just giving my opinion. Being around candy as much and as long as I have you start to be more careful about what and how much you take in. I would never eat a single candy bar in one or even two sittings.

Lyra: I haven’t tried that, no. I can’t afford candy much these days so when I do I just stick with Starburst, Skittles, Candy Corn; things like that. There’s loads of them and you can buy them up in bags for pretty cheap!

Okay, so let me get this straight. You humans made a movie about a pony that goes to a human world. Only it wasn’t a human world, it was some anorexic dimension where everypony (or one or whatever) had disproportionately large heads, the arm thickness of a macaroni noodle, and boots surgically attached to their legs.

So it wasn’t a movie about a pony going into a world of humans, it was a movie about a pony going into a world of adolescent dolls that might as well have lived in a school. And this is all marketed toward young children for some reason.

I can think of no more fitting a response than this link.

P.S.: Minotaurs have hands. We know what hands are.

S: “Spell Creation Team”? Why, Equestria hasn’t funded anything that bloated and directionless since-

B: Nevermind. Get on with it.

S: Right then. I’m afraid I will have to request further clarification if I’m to be of any assistance. You see, there are certain methods of home defense that are considered unsafe and excessive. If your residence possessed any such instance… there is little that can be done. If you are worried about the security of the structure, then you may indicate so and I will keep such a message from the public eye.

B: Alternately, I need to know when this happened, who exactly you contacted, and how you contacted them.

S: Alternately? Are you insinuating that one ideology is to be chosen over the-?

B: Just answer the questions and then you can get back to your political whatever.

S: As much a delight as ever, I see.

S: That certainly does not sound like proper procedure, but perhaps the answer lies in the question: How exactly was your front door not accessible via “normal methods”?

S: Further, did you ever contact Canterlot directly about this issue? I feel there’s a detail obscured somewhere in all of this.

1) Is that really important?

2) Bon-Bon: I prefer the smoother taste of milk chocolate, but I see where you’re coming from.

Lyra: I like white chocolate. I know it’s not chocolate, but it’s awesome.

Bon-Bon: Nougat that you find in candy is usually table sugar, corn syrup, and what is known as a whipping agent. There isn’t a uniform recipe for it between businesses, but some of them use egg whites. After you have the core substance together, you can flavor it a number of different ways.

Bon-Bon: I don’t personally care for nougat; it’s basically filler so that a candy bar is cheaper to make. If you want to eat chocolate and caramel with possibly some nuts, I’d recommending eating a little chocolate and caramel with possibly some nuts. If you want to eat something filling, I recommend eating food. But money is money. Whatever ponies eat is what I stock.

Lyra: For the record, I like Milky Way and I think it would taste awful without nougat.

3) For some reason, the demand for “gray-[omitted] shooter” is large enough for multiple companies to fight over. There’s even room enough for the same type of “gray-[omitted] shooter” and have several still be successful. That’s not the companies’ fault; that’s the consumer. When folks stop buying crap, companies will stop making it.

If Soul Reaver/Blood Omen left any legacy (of Kain), it’s evidence that the demographic for action/adventure/puzzler doesn’t want competition. Which is great for Neightendo! For everypony else… Well, sometimes we get a new Deus Ex game.

1) Bon-Bon: Of course it’s upsetting and of course everypony has every reason to think less of her for it. But it doesn’t change her as a cook. It’s okay to like somepony’s ability to do a job without liking who they are, and the other way around too.

Bon-Bon: Now, if you’re boycotting something, that’s different. That’s saying, “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, this is not acceptable past, present, or future.”

Lyra: I feel that ponies get too attached to somepony they’ve never even met. Separate the job from the pony.

Bon-Bon: But no pony asked you. It’s specifically addressed to me.

Lyra: Yeah, but I’ve said some extremely hateful things in the past. Some of them I didn’t even know were hateful at the time! I’d be [omitted] if I lost my job over it.

2) In Snake’s defense, he’s usually involved in negotiations on a much larger scale. He brings his experience, which can make things more difficult, but also his leverage. He’s sort of involved as a favor, but he can get you more out of this than anypony else.

B: He’s also involved in negotiations with a number of other entities at any given time. I guarantee you are his lowest priority.

S: Consider your letter already added to Canterlot’s research division’s equine resources. Though perhaps if you let me know where your interests lay, I may be able to save you some time. Some divisions are more exclusive than others and the application process can be somewhat lengthy due to the number of candidates.

S: I would require more specifics about what series of events brought about the seizing of your residence, as I do not ready possess access to any such file. Are you aware of it’s present use or is it vacant? Condemned perhaps?

1) What, again? It’s barely been 24 hours!

Just one, though. No “S”.

2) Alright, I suppose. Hasn’t been very Luigi-esque over here, though. I don’t seem to own the appropriate systems.

3) So that’s why the moon was so bright Saturday! Other than the moon being really bright when I went on a quick market run, no. The Summer Sun Celebration was the day before, but I missed it. I think it was in Baltimare or something this year. They seem to get a lot of events there.

4) Bluh; meat.

Bon-Bon: Many, yes! Everything from soft-shelled chocolate bites to chocolate wafer bars!

Bon-Bon: There’s a lot of chocolate.

Back home. Tired. Do stuff later. Good night.

Edit: Oh, I have some more flower pictures though! I’ll sort through that later too.

Found this on Something Awful.

“Somehow I don’t think this Deus Ex ending is canonical.”

That’s the trouble with Dentons these days. No sense of Proportion!

1) Well, I’ve only seen Binding of Isaac, which is needlessly crude, violent, and explicit. I also tend to not like roguelikes for the same reason I tend to not like fighting games; I’m not very good at them. Based upon that, not really a fan.

2) It’s alright. It was fun while it lasted! From what you showed me it seemed like a much more interesting story than Fallout 3 was. I may yet play it someday. And if I do, it will be because of this.

3) The Everfree Forest isn’t controlled by magic, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist there too.

4) Sorry. I’ve never held an allegiance. I concede that the PS2 and SNES were the two best video game systems thus far, but that was due to their available library. Many, if not most of the games that made those systems great were created by third-party developers. And with the regrettable direction video game development continues to spiral towards (that is, one focused on visuals and movie-esque narratives), it’s doubtful any future system will ever approach what those two systems achieved.

I’ll probably wait a year or so and pick whichever system has what I want to play the most. If I can even afford it.

And it’s fine! I probably just misread something.