Lyra: Hello! Today on AskLyra we have a special guest: Fuselight!

…

Lyra: Say something.

Fuselight: Oh, it’s going already? Uhm, something! Hello, miss Lyra’s Tumblr!

Lyra: Pay attention, dude. Okay so we’re- Well, usually when I answer questions I cut it up. Like, this is an answer. Okay we’re done. Start the recording the next one. Sometimes there’s multiple takes. Sometimes I’ll, like, write an entire script and I’m basically just reading off of it. But uh… [nervous laughter] We’re-we’re just going to try recording this all in one uh… uh… thing. One take, yeah. So here we go!

Bon-Bon: Wow, couldn’t have picked a better one to start?

Fuselight: Oh dear, they get right into it, don’t they?

Lyra: This is my world. Tumblr world.

Fuselight: Well this is what I’m here for. Okay, well you start miss Lyra. I’ll go after you.

Lyra: Well, I’d say that wouldn’t be a typical reaction. If such an event occured, despite what any movie might depict, that’s just not how a normal pony’s brain reacts.

Fuselight: I think it depends on the pony’s mentality beforehand. I mean, you and I haven’t had the best childhoods, but we’re not insane killers.

Bon-Bon: Yeah, it just doesn’t make sense to me. You’d have to already be suffering some some mental disorder. I mean, right?

Lyra: I would think so.

Fuselight: Maybe not a disorder, but a pony needs to be seriously unstable first to become such a thing. One event wouldn’t do it. Annnyways, that’s enough of this one, don’t you thi-

—

Okay, so. The whole thing went way too long. So I cut it up into pieces. There’s no editing other than that, though. The other three parts will be posted over the next three days. So look forward to it!

1) Lyra: THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU TOOT! THE MORE YOU TOOT, THE BETTER YOU FEEL! BEANS, BEANS, FOR EVERY MEAL!

Bon-Bon: I thought you didn’t like beans.

Lyra: I don’t.

2) I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your mother. Sub work itself isn’t so bad, but low pay/few hours is definitely a downer.

I wish this was the first time I’d heard this story before. Seems to happen too often. School systems seem reluctant to hire somepony who’s highly qualified because they can just hire somepony else for cheaper. And I’ve seen positions never get filled at all, and the school just take a sub for the position everyday for the entire school year. It’s criminal, or should be.

3) If I may make one point: when you bring up child pornography with me, remember who I am and where I came from. That’s not child pornography. That’s a drawing. A drawing never held somepony down and caused irreversible harm, nor was it made during such a horrid event.

But this has reminded me that I’d grown tired of that tumblr a while ago. It just wasn’t what I thought it’d be.

4) Yes! But it might be confusing. Boscov is Krastos. I just stopped calling him Boscov a while ago. Sort of grew out of it.

5) I had to look it up, but yes I’ve seen a few things about it on tumblr. However, I still don’t know anything about it. Just what some of the characters look like.

askrubypinch:

Guess the game challenge!

Reblogging because Gitaroo Man!

1) Woah there, friend. You might need to slow down.

Bad stuff can only happen because of good stuff. If you know about bad stuff, there must be good things for you to contrast them against. Removing all the bad would remove all the good too. We just need to bring more good into the world. And we can all do that!

Let’s get creative! Just don’t eat a heart. (May be disturbing to younger viewers. Also totally unrelated to the message behind this answer.)

2) I’ve touched upon this before. I might be now. There’s just certain things I wouldn’t want foals exposed to, even if an adult willingly chooses to ingest something illegal.

3) I would say an adjustment to the marriage law would probably be more likely. Not that I consider that particularly likely either.

4) Nonsense. Hiding Discord there wouldn’t have been a very good disguise if other statues were criminals too. And really, who else would require such an imprisonment? Discord is immeasurably powerful.

5) The drugs were finally traced back to the Griffon nation. Borders were closed. A few well placed raids and a little time and there was nothing left.

See, the biggest narcotic in Equestria during that time was a salt-like rock called Arid. To the pony body it could serve as a replacement for salt, only it was a poisonous hallucinogenic as well. But the main ingredients for it don’t form in Equestria.

Edit: Oh yeah! Fuselight came over and we did a few asks with him as a guest! Those will show up in the morning queue starting Monday.

sexxi-bbz:

i went for the mustard

In which Lyra delivered a dare.

sexxi-bbz:

for the kids: GDI stands for “Golly Doop It”

In which Lyra promised a dare.

Bon-Bon: What? He’s coming here?! Lyra! The house is a mess! Why didn’t you tell me?!

Lyra: Bon-Bon, he’s a mechanic. I’m sure he’s seen a worse mess than this.

Bon-Bon: What? Lyra, we need to clean up!

Lyra: But I hate vacuuming…

Bon-Bon: GET UP FROM THERE!

Lyra: Ug~h…

1) Lyra: I have a bunch of questions, but I wanted to get to this one now. I’m very sorry to hear that. You’ve been a delight to talk to and I wish there was something I could do to help.

Bon-Bon: I certainly hope you at least find someplace safe to say, if you are forced out. I’d hate for something to happen to you.

Lyra: I’m glad we could help ease your mind somehow. We both hope the best for you.

2) Was it last week or the week before? It wasn’t for very long. He insists he has time when I come over, but I know better. I can’t tell if I’m imagining it or not, but he looks more tired than before he started on his doctorate.

3) You’re fine, but why would you wear an eyepatch?

B: It’s been almost two months. You mean you’ve already been hired? That was fast for a government position.

But that’s great, Strawberry! Congratulations!

4) Lyra: Absolutely!

Bon-Bon: Of course! Can’t wait!

Lyra: Wait… the weekend is tomorrow… oops.

Bon-Bon: Plenty of notice, I’m sure.

1) The posts have been pretty much all over the place, but I assume you mean the human thing. What about it?

2) I don’t know what that is, so… maybe it already does?

3) Bon-Bon: Well, I don’t typically sell perishable produce; doesn’t keep for long enough. At the same time, I don’t know of anypony that grows strawberries and sells them with chocolate. Like I’ve said though, I can do special orders upon request. So you’d just come on down to Sweetie Drops ahead of time, and I’d make it happen. High quality and for cheaper than you’d suspect!

4) I hear that. I’m still paying off the the last two visits I had when my leg was petrified and then later broke.

I feel tired a lot right now, but that’s mostly because I don’t really have anything to do. Once school starts back up next week I’m hoping to change that. Still hoping I can get on permanent as an aid.

Lyra: What type of horrible conditions are we talkin’ about here? Horrible working conditions? Horrible sanitation conditions? Or are we goin’ full on soylent greens is ponies?

Bon-Bon: Not gonna lie; done that before. Well, I mean not cookies, but with candy. Don’t really do it anymore. There was a mix-up once. Was supposed to be for a bachelorette party but wound up being some minors for a sleepover. Was sort of lucky to have not been sued by the parents.

Lyra: “And I bet you thought you could get away with putting Scootaloo in the hospital didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?! But I was wise to your games, Monsieur French Fry; if that even is your real name.”

Bon-Bon: Wow, that was a horrible Sweetie Belle.

Lyra: Shut up.

Bon-Bon: Considering her intake, I’m pretty sure Pinkie’s teeth are as indestructible as her stomach.

Lyra: I want to say Krastos told me he was a cheerleader in high school, but I can’t remember if that was him or not.

Bon-Bon: And I don’t know who that Beyonce is.

Lyra: I promise you you’ve at least heard Single Ladies before. And it’s Beyoncé.

Bon-Bon: Well excuse mé.

askfuselight:

((That’s right everyone, I’m back and ready to go again! If you want a refresher on what’s been going on, there’s always the story tab on the sidebar there. In addition to that, I also made a summary page on that same tab for a quick recap. (I’ve been at this for a year and a half after all! Stuff gets forgotten!)

Thanks to those who helped with guest posts and keeping some content going while I was recovering, but I believe I can do well enough to at least do my own now. It may be a little delayed sometimes but I’ll be back to my once-a-week format. Thank you all as well for sticking with me! <3))

My good friend (who doesn’t visit enough) is feeling better! You should send him a message!

1) I saw when these were sent last night, but I try not to post too much all at once. But hey, gave me plenty of time to ponder.

2) I most certainly do not.

3) You mean like, right now or overall? ‘Cause the only pony that I know was up when I got these is Sir Lintalot ('cause he posted immediately after I did). And while he does follow me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t actually read anything I post.

Sorry, just having a difficult time thinking of who would bother being cryptic.

4) In my bedroom, but I swear if I start hearing a rapping upon my chamber door I’m gonna pee myself and you’re cleaning it up.

5) If this is for the million bit grand prize, I’m gonna say because you’re bored and know I’ll eventually respond.

6) Okie dokie! Take care!

Edit: By the way, great job sending these backwards! This is how they showed up in my inbox and that made things a lot easier on me.

asksirlintalot:

<3

(( Thanks yee everyone for wishing Linty a happy birthday~ >u< ))

I realized that somehow I never reblogged this, and that makes me sad. So I’m fixing that.

1) Not trying to be disrespectful if this is legit, but I’ve got a virus from a website before and it’s not fun. This seems sort of spammy so I need some evidence that I’m not going to regret going there.

2) Yeah, but medical bills can be killer. But if you can afford it I’d go. Could be something simple, but threatening as Anemia caused by dietary iron deficiency. I had that for a little while when I was younger. Felt tired and sick all the time.

3) There were plenty of games that were playable, just not a whole lot that were memorable or didn’t have superior sequels that negated their predecessors.

I do miss the minimal load times of cartage games from that era, though. Start game. Pick mode. Pick character. Start race. No load screen. No awkward pause. Nothing. Even freakin’ New Leaf has load screens.

And it’s cool. Ya just doesn’t has to call me Johnson.

4) Bon-Bon: Yeah… A shame. I mean, what mare wouldn’t want to be called Drops. Or Doctor Oops. But you can call me Bonnie, if you’d like.

Bon-Bon: And sure, I have some regular suppliers. I don’t grow anything myself, if that’s what you were asking. But I also might shop around on occasion. You know, make sure I’m not being gouged. You’d be surprised how little years of loyalty means until a supplier loses a big customer. Then it’s all, “I’m sure we can work something out.”

agentcoffeeseer:

Saw this and was reminded of Lyra.

Though I’m not sure if she can really jam with the console cowboys in  cyberspace.

I bet I could if I tried.

Also, she’s pretty good at acting!