1) Woah woah woah. Slow down there Jane Row. I’m not that smart. Let me bust out dictionary.com.
“Well wishes, evil-doer or criminals! I am attempting to put to use wrongly the collection of formulas for the preparation of affordable articles of food. Who will join me!?”
… Are you trying to sell drugs for food?
2) Sure, Strawberry. Want to answer a question or two with me?
3) Lyra: Seems amazing? It’s definitely showing age, but that game was the hottest of the hot for its time.
Lyra: And clearly I would be the keen-eyed spotter to Bon-Bon’s quick-hooved digger.
Bon-Bon: Alright, sure.
Lyra: Really?
Bon-Bon: Lyra. Once again, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t play video games.
4) I’m not sure what implications are even attempting to be made by that statement.
5) Well, you just went completely out of your way to insure no pony could do the whole “lol! you can’t read cupcakes!” joke. Spoiled sport.
Well, quite a while ago I noticed a trend; a considerable drop in followers after every batch of messages I answered separately in succession. I came up with the thesis (because I’m not as dumb as everypony thinks I am) that the cause of those unfollowers wasn’t the content, but the method of its distribution.
After comparison, I found that taking a screenshot of the questions and answering them all in one text post takes up way less space on a follower’s dashboard than answering each message separately, even with the picture (the one containing the question) expanded. While I have no concurrent control group to compare my findings with, the results have been pretty groovy (though I have received one or two notable complaints, specifically regarding viewership through mobile devices).
This has all lead me to the conclusion that the majority of ponies would rather have all of their information from a single source condensed into a compact newsletter-style format that they are free to either read at their leisure in a centralized location, or bypass at once if they have more important business with which to attend.
AskLyra: Taking into account concerns you didn’t know you had, and then using them against you like a soulless machine.
Okay, so yesterday after I threw up, I most certainly was not fine.
But this time I know for absolute certain
That everything is certainly fine
Welp, I just threw up.
Feel fine now.
1) I don’t know. All those closing parenthesis are making me uncomfortable.
4) Oh-Eighth Em Ess Team sounds right. Heero was kind of boring as a central focus. He wasn’t an awful character, but I’d have liked it better if any of the others had more screen time than him (preferably Duo).
I liked a lot of the old Zeon models. Zaku II, Gelgoog, Dom, Efreet. But my favorite in Wing were the OZ’s Virgos. Those things were vicious!
I don’t get why everyone makes such a big deal about my hands. What did you expect me to have under there?
#fitting that Lyra should as ask him about hands huh
No. No, it’s just another coincidence, right?
…
Bon-Bon, do I have a problem?
1) Well, I’ve always liked green for what should seem like obvious reasons. My two favorite characters to play in City of Heroes were villains (Fire/Dark Brute and Electric/Force Controller), which was also known as “red-side”. And my first Pokemon game was Pokemon Blue.
2) Lyra: A full-time job. Which I think is the same as last year.
Bon-Bon: I don’t know. This heavy workload half the year is starting to wear on me. Maybe I’ll see about expanding my business a little to afford hiring an assistant.
3) It’s okay! I didn’t see it as being disrespectful or anything! It’s always nice to hear from you!
4) Bon-Bon: Why thank you for asking! Here at Sweetie Drops you can indulge yourself in all the sweetest, most delectable candies you can imagine. From the richest or creamiest chocolates, to the most mouth-watering fruit-flavors known to moral tongue! We’ve got everything from peanut brittle to real liquorice! Sugar treats! Cinnamon treats! Mint, gum, taffy, and caramel! Ingredients are hoof-picked and locally grown (when possible)!
Bon-Bon: On a budget? Not a problem! We stock all the major manufactured candy! But take just a few seconds to try a sample test and you might be surprised at how a little difference in price can equal a huge boost in flavor!
Bon-Bon: Where is this magical place you ask? Narnia? Why, just trot right up to town hall and turn to your right! We’re the first door to the left! So why shop anywhere else for your confectionery needs?
Bon-Bon: Sweetie Drops!Sweet to the last drop!
Things you regret sending to somepony on tumblr while drunk at a party
Sorry, Sexxi-Bbz. I hope that didn’t make things awkward.
I mean, I’m sure it was pretty awkward. I just hope it wasn’t too awkward.
LMAO. LYRA.
omg i shouldnt be laughing, im so sorry.
no omg it was fine haha. you didnt say anything weird lol. gOD, i feel horrible for laughing. its not because of your message, its becvause youre drunk. at a party.
and u should know by now, that i definietly see you as a goody-2-shoes. if you didnt know, oops, you do now.
#oH MAN #HAD A BIT TOO MUCH #BETTER GET ON … MY PONY ACCOUNT #AND SAY HEY TO BBZ
Things you regret sending to somepony on tumblr while drunk at a party
Sorry, Sexxi-Bbz. I hope that didn’t make things awkward.
I mean, I’m sure it was pretty awkward. I just hope it wasn’t too awkward.
Oh my gosh! You gave me such pretty eyes! I can’t stop smiling! Thank you!
1) Sorry! I wasn’t at home last night or I’d have snagged that first like. I was at a Hearth’s Warming party. Second one this season! Feels great to get out of the house!
2) Bon-Bon: Well, of course it is. It’s just not something you get to choose. If I could choose I’d be known far and wide for my incredible candy store, Sweetie Drops, and the delectable candy I produce!
Lyra: Nice advert.
Bon-Bon: Why do you think I originally agreed to answer questions on here?
3) Duo is my favorite Gundam character, but there was this one series I thought was pretty cool that took place on Earth in some sort of guerrilla war. I don’t remember what it was called.
Marty was a good- uh… I guess man is the word. He looked to be having a little trouble and I hope he managed to get things sorted out.
I remember that Scootaloo… things seem so different now.
1) Bon-Bon: Unfazed? Everypony already thinks she’s better than me.
Bon-Bon: I’m just boring ol’ Bon-Bon. Never to be seen without Lyra. I can’t tell if that’s worse or better than being known as the human-obsessed pony.
2) Happy Hearth’s Warming! Merry Christmas!
3) Lyra: Thanks! The socks are great for this cold weather!
Bon-Bon: I love it! Harrison Ford is the best character ever!
Lyra: Don’t you mean Han Solo is the best character ever?
Bon-Bon: I know what I said.
Lyra: I don’t think Tootsie watches the show, but she loves the little dog thing!
4) Krastos is my special somebear. I guess my reaction might have been a little uncalled for. But we can’t get married. We haven’t really been spending much time together lately, to be honest. He’s always so busy studying and I don’t want to interrupt.
1) Oh! Why thank you!
2) If I may stop time for just a moment. Given the information that you are a human, the answer to the first posed question would be yes. You.
I saw a human once. His name was Marty.
3) Lyra: Thanks!
Bon-Bon: Thank you! You too!
4) Things would have to have taken a grimdark turn if those were discussed regularly. Also pancreas is a funny word.
5) Not that I know of. I mean, I’m sure they’re symbolic of something but I don’t know it. Hands are just a strange thing. Some ponies, like humans, are interested in things that are foreign to their understanding of the world.
Or maybe I imagined the whole thing and there is no such thing as a glass minotaur hand. I have some… I have some kinda dreams.
