I just spilled dried cereal all over the carpet and Tootsie Flute is already in bed.

I’m afraid a vacuum will be too loud.

What do?

Well… I suppose I have been lucky thus far. Most of my questions have at least an ounce of tact, even if they were baselessly insulting.

I’ve been in my share of fights. I’ve been beat up, thrown around, had my life threatened more times than I can count.

How about you, little foal? Everything been just daisy with you? Did you have parents to tuck you into bed at night? I know I didn’t. Somepony to look out for you if you got in trouble? All I had was a place to rest my head at night. Sometimes I didn’t even make it back there. And no pony came running; no pony looked for me. If I showed up, I showed up. If I died, no pony would have cared. I’m not asking for sympathy, I’m not even asking for tact from you.

I guess what I’m saying is…

Is insinuating that I’m both male and a eunuch really the best you can do? I’ve slept through worse in an alleyway while being stepped on.

Nope, sorry. Haven’t seen em.

Uh… Not unless I’m wearing them right now. What color were they?

This is flippin’ unbelievable!

This is why I subscribe to Equestria Daily! Best newspaper in Equestria!

It was Gilda’s decision before it was yours.

Beyond that…

I don’t know, but meta powers keeps yammering on that it’s Gilda’s decision, not ours.

I hate that, it’s like I’m having a conversation that I’m not actually involved in.

Well, I know that Gilda has met that Luna before. But I have no idea what was involved for them to meet.

For that matter, whose to say we even wake up in the same reality every day! Sometimes I don’t see Bon-Bon for an entire day or two, and that doesn’t seem out of the ordinary somehow!

All of that assuming that Luna did, in fact, slaughter a town and isn’t just completely nuts.

You mean like go crazy, your highness?

No, no, I’m on the same page with you. But I have no idea. I’ve seen Luna, so I know what she looks like, but I’ve never met her. I certainly wouldn’t expect the Luna I saw after Nightmare Moon was defeated to be as aggressive or impatient as this one. I wouldn’t even expect her to be all that present in day-to-day Equestrian life!

That’s up to you, cowboy.

I look after my friends, but I don’t deal with the majority of the psychotic nonsense that goes on around here.

…

Canon-shattering…

Meta powers wanted me to add canon-shattering.

All I saw her say was that she heard about it. I figured she heard about it from that Luna that pushes folks out of windows. If she received word from her own country, that would be different.

I mean, she thought she was pregnant, and that turned out not to be true.

It’s possible that it might not be true. And not so much that she’s lying as it is that she seems to be, well, nuts. She may have just imagined the whole thing. I’d have no way of knowing for certain for a quite a while.

…

What are you wearing in your profile picture?

Nope. I have no idea, how it works.

You say that as though I can see you doing it.

Does that sound crazy to anypony else?