Anons don’t follow rules, you seem to be forgetting this.

I guess you need to travel around town with an adventurer team. Everypony knows that adventurers always go everywhere together! Even the grocers!

Oh yes. You’re all terrible lovers too, and penniless bums.

And you smell.

I think I’m enjoying this too much.

That’s good against one or two anons, but say, 5? Wouldn’t work. They’d outnumber me.

Rule of RPGs, Carrot Top: Don’t try to fight them all at once, single a target out until they’re down!

Or, you know, you could be realistic and beat one, then use its body as a shield.

I know, they’re liable to just up and disappear for days on end with no excuse.

askcarrottop replied to your post: Well, I’ve got news for you! You are mine now! You belong to me!

This makes me realize that if a couple anons wanted to beat me up I’d be pretty defenseless without magic.

You’re a terrestrial pony, Carrot Top. Shatter their shins with your superior might. Or the chins!

Spectacular.

I’m sure you won’t mind paying for my food, insurance, medical. Hey! Why don’t I just retire and stay at home all day on tumblr while you work for the both of us and still don’t get any! After all, I’m a magical unicorn, I could beat the poop out of you if you dare refuse any whimsy that happens to cross my mind!

I get the strangest sense that you didn’t think this through.

The waifu thing is unfunny enough. If you’re going to start making it a chore to respond to these, I’m just going to start deleting them.

If I had a bit for every time I’ve had to censor an anon…

I have no idea to what you refer…

Any pony out there that can just talk normal? Dialogs start at the beginning, not the middle.

I remember a time when I could just direct you to Twilight…

Look, you know I only speak Unified Equestrian. Can’t you just ask in that language, or toss that through a translator?

She stays alo~ne.

Never sheds a single tear~!

Edit: Too obscure?

Oh.

I’m not very good at directions. I’m sure Twilight could get you there pretty fast!

Apparently you did not know about my latest technology to get the red out.

Uh…

What?