Bon-Bon went up there to sing a song. Which honestly surprised me. I didn’t think she would. But she said this was the whole reason why she brought me here. With her taste in music I have no idea what she’s going to sing. She is very into pony and very not into human.

Weirder part is that things seem to be winding down, like this is the last song of the night. Did she set this up special or something? They’re messing with the lighting. I mean, of course she’s an incredible singer, but I never saw her as a closing act.

Alright, I need to shut up. It’s starting.

Oh [omitted]. I recognize this…

Lyra: Haha. You know, out of context, a lot of these aren’t even obviously gay.

Bon-Bon: Well I said I didn’t know. Are you sure you want to do this?

Lyra: Sure! You brought me here. They can listen to me caterwaul for a while. Now clear the way. I need space to move for this.

Bon-Bon: Okay! Good luck! And have fun!

Lyra: … At first I was afraid. I was petrified!

[Applause]

Lyra: Okay. So I think I figured out it.

Bon-Bon: Figured what out?

Lyra: Why I’d never been here. Never heard of it. It’s a gay bar.

Bon-Bon: It is not.

Lyra: We caught the tail end of I Kissed a Girl and just sat through I’m Coming Out.

Bon-Bon: That’s just a coincidence.

Lyra: Oh really? Not up on human songs, are you? Never heard this one then?

Bon-Bon: No.

Lyra: Two seconds for the lyrics to kick in… Still going to deny it?
Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia… I’ve been coming here for like two years…

Lyra: Now you’re going to pretend like you didn’t know?

Bon-Bon: Honestly I didn’t! I’m not trying to embarrass you! I want you to have a good time! I wouldn’t have brought you here if I knew!

Lyra: Oh I don’t care. At least there’s not a lot of ponies here.

Lyra: And here I thought I’d been to every bar, diner, and restaurant in Ponyville. Door leading straight into a basement? This place is a real hole-in-the-wall. Also possibly in violation of some zoning regulations, being in a residential area.

Bon-Bon: Everything’s fine. Stop being nervous. You babble when you’re nervous.

Lyra: I… I’m not nervous… So, we just…?

Bon-Bon: Yup. Just sit at a table. Somepony will come over in a minute.

[Applause]

Lyra: So, the stage. Local talent?

Bon-Bon: It’s a karaoke bar, so something like that.

Lyra: Oh. Huh. I didn’t think Ponyville had one of these. And there’s quite a few couples here. Guess I’m just out of the loop.

Bon-Bon: Guess so.

Waitress: Hello there! How’s the evening treating you? What can I get you started with?

Bon-Bon: Get up. Here. Put this on. We’re going out.

Lyra: Is this my black dress?

Bon-Bon: Yes. Dry cleaned and pressed. You should really take better care of your things. It was wadded up in the corner.

Lyra: Why am I putting this on? And where are we going?

Bon-Bon: When you started staying here over five years ago, we had an agreement. I didn’t hold you down. I didn’t twist your hoof.

Lyra: Bon-Bon, I-
Bon-Bon: I didn’t even count that agent pony because you only went out with him once. Now it’s been at least a year since you broke up with Krastos. I didn’t press the matter. I didn’t harass you over it. I gave you all the time in the world to cope. But you’ve had time enough and a promise is a promise.

Lyra: I’m really not-
Bon-Bon: “If things don’t work out in my next relationship, I’ll go on a date with you.” I’m paraphrasing, but something like that.

Lyra: I-I mean, I work tomorrow.

Bon-Bon: You work night tomorrow. You’ll be fine. Now no more excuses. Get up. We leave in five. You can walk beside me or I can drag you by your tail.

Lyra: I… Ugh… Alright just, make it somewhere there’s not a lot of ponies! Like I don’t get enough rumors…

Lyra: Ribbon? What are you doing in Ponyville in the middle of the week?

Ribbon: Can a mother not be there for her daughter on the first week of a new school year?

Lyra: N-no? I mean, are you here to buy your ticket home now?

Ribbon: Of course! A smart mare purchases her ticket early to avoid the rush.

Lyra: But… this is rush hour…
Ribbon: So it is! But, about that conversation we had earlier. You recall, yes?

Lyra: Is this really the best time? I’m kinda working-
Ribbon: You’re with a customer, so you still are. Now I believe I made a very generous offer…
Lyra: You did.
Ribbon: And…?

Lyra: I appreciate the consideration, but-
Ribbon: Ugh! Why am I not surprised?

Lyra: Look, I know why you’re doing this and I’m not against it.
Ribbon: And how do you-…!? Wait… what?

Lyra: I don’t like Bon-Bon sitting around waiting for me to suddenly fall in love with her! She’s wasting her life away! There’s a hundred thousand ponies out there that could make her happy and she needs to get over me!

Ribbon: I… Well, yes that-
Lyra: But bringing her suitors isn’t going to work. She’s an entrepreneur, a self-starter, an independent workhorse. It has to be her that finds somepony.

Ribbon: Hmm… Yes that does sound like Bonnie. A change to the encounter then? Stage a meeting perhaps?

Lyra: I’m not helping you play matchmaker. I’m just letting you know I’m not standing in your way.

Ribbon: Fair enough. And this should be fare enough for a ticket. And a good day to you.

[Pause]

Lyra: She’ll be happier when she gets past me. I just… want her to be happy…

I knew it! I knew all that kindness and honesty garbage was made up!

camo-pony:

More like a tumbling

Requests are available! (but low quality)

Thanks! I’m sure phoenixswift will be happy to see it!

1 & 2) In a bit of a Homestar mood lately, hmm?

“Somebody get this frickin’ duck away from me!“

3) I haven’t seen it yet, no. It looks cool. Just been doing a lot of stuff lately.

4) No, I think youths with attitude are what got us into this mess to begin with. Older folks wouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken.

5) I don’t even live there and I’d vote for him!

6) Shadow the Hedgehog was alright. Everything is alright. Except maybe those fanfics. I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that.

What about my “bobbie s”?

phoenixswift:

asklyra said: The avatar itself reminds me of the avatar portraits from Final Fantasy Tactics. Which is awesome!

Heeey, it kinda does!

That made me wanna try that style out a bit. Check it out. It’s not pixel, but whatevs, you can see it better this way.

Yes! YEEES! This pleases Lyra!

phoenixswift-art:

It’s so fluffy! I’m gonna die!

1) That’s terrible! The State of Michigan deserves better! I’m gonna send you a bunch! Everypony send The State of Michigan a bunch of questions too!

2) I’m kinda sick of not living to stay alive myself.

3) Well, I mean, clearly it’s a trick to get me to move away so I’m out of the picture and she can set Bon-Bon up with some rich jerk. Ribbon couldn’t be more transparent if she chucked a brick through glass. I’m just… having trouble figuring out if that would be a bad thing or not…

4) The Sonic franchise gets a lot of flak, but really there’s some decent games. Even after Sonic 3.

5) B: … I’ll consider it.

Lyra: Say, Bon-Bon? Have you ever thought about moving?

Bon-Bon: What?

Lyra: You know, moving away from Ponyville.

Bon-Bon: Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?

Lyra: Oh no. I was just wondering.

Bon-Bon: Lyra, Ponyville is where my business is. I can’t just drag it around behind me. If I moved to another small town I’d have to start all over again. And if I moved to a big city I’d be driven out of business by competition. I know because that’s exactly what I would do.

Lyra: What about, like, franchising and chains?

Bon-Bon: I suppose that’s possible somewhere down the road. And sure, I’d have to at least move temporarily to help get it started. But I’d have to have a lot of money stored up. And that’s just not happening anytime soon. If ever. Why do you ask? I thought you loved Ponyville.

Lyra: Oh I do! I was just curious, you know, about the future.

Bon-Bon: That’s a lo~ng ways away. I’m focused more on the foreseeable future right now.

Lyra: Oh, okay.

Ribbon: Hello, Lyra.

Lyra: Ribbon! Uh, hey! Bon-Bon’s not here right now-
Ribbon: I know.

Lyra: Liza is out playing, if you need me to-
Ribbon: Oh, no. I came here to talk to you.

Lyra: Oh. Uh…. Okay.

Ribbon: You see, I’ve begun to feel like Tootsie and I don’t spend enough time together.

Lyra: Well, yeah.

Ribbon: Yeah? Like-you-have-no-manners-what-so-… Anyway. I do a fair deal of typing, record keeping, scheduling- you know, things of that nature-
Lyra: Uh huh.
Ribbon: And I thought to myself, “I spend so much time on these details when really, I could hire somepony to do this for me-!“
Lyra: Okay.
Ribbon: And why would I hire just any old pony when I could hire somepony I know? Somepony who I trust with my very child?

Lyra: I don’t think Bon-Bon is going to-
Ribbon: How well do you type? You run your little blog thing, surely you have considerable experience.

Lyra: Well I-
Ribbon: So you type well? Fabulous! How would you like to work for me?

Lyra: I don’t-
Ribbon: I can assure you compensation that far exceeds your current position. And, if you want, I could even begin to teach you some law. Expand your skill set? In time, maybe take over client interviews. Perhaps sit in on a few cases. Maybe even become an attorney yourself.

Lyra: That’s-
Ribbon: And the money! Not just for yourself either. I bet there’s more than a few causes you could help support with bits to spare! Think about that. The opportunity to help others. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Lyra: Well, yes-
Ribbon: Splendid! You can pack your things and we’ll find you a nice place in Manehattan to stay.

Lyra: Wait. Leave Ponyville?

Ribbon: Well, of course. I can’t very well have a secretary working way out here. Oh, but you grew up in Canterlot, yes? Manehattan is so much more interesting! The shows, the shopping, the scenery! And so much more secure. How often does this little backwater village get attacked, set on fire, or turned inside-out?

Lyra: I’d… I’d have to-

Ribbon: Think about it? Oh of course! I wouldn’t expect you to just up and leave. No, of course not. But do give it some real consideration, would you? This is no small offer, after a~ll!

Lyra: Yeah… Sure…