It would be, if I wasn’t dating a bear and didn’t get death threats and messages saying they’re going to “rape” me.

I don’t post all the threats I get anymore.

I do not, no.

None of those are really true…

I just wish they were. I wish I was normal…

Go ahead. Not like I can stop you.

Tech guy fixed mai computa!

Back in business! And I can play City of Ponies again!

I’d tell you, but then I’d have to destroy you.

Honestly? It’s not a secret. I have a tag devoted to it.

We’re just normal friends. I’m not any better than you or anypony else.

It’s still not something I’ll ever be comfortable with.

Thanks, though.

Shut up, baby, I know.

Seriously though, you gotta stop calling me that. There’s no way for me to respond to that.

I don’t work today, so feel free!

You hold the tears back and tell the crowd about your legendary sighting. When you get to the part about its worth, everypony starts to look around frantically. You get ready to blame somepony for pushing you and then run away crying when the pony you were going to blame helps you up. It’s an old foalhood friend of yours. She escorts you away from the crowd, savvy to your misdirective ways, and hoofs you a peppermint stick. Before asking how you really are.

It’s been a while since you two spoke. A year or so at least. Nothing bad happened to drive you away. Time just has a way of slipping by.

Your nose is still bleeding.

I think so. I’m never positive, but I should be able to.

Haven’t I mentioned that before? I figured it was obvious.

No.

…