Forgot to censor the griffon
Anonymous
Mare, don’t screw with me. I literally went back to check that!
I was all “You gotta be [omitted] me!”
And then… It was…
…
I should probably stop posting right now… Little too much to drink…
On a scale from one to ten, with one being "So vanilla it would drive Celestia to tears of boredom" and ten being "so disgusting it would make Discord hurl in disgust", where do you like your ice cream?
Anonymous
Is this Pinkie Pie?
…
Or Screwball?
…
Or Flappy?
Of course. I understand. I just hope that one day you can do something you really love...
And I do.
Just not as a sustainable career.
Anonymous
I had to look up what that even was.
I thought maybe it was the fear of Tetris.
You’re not drunk. It’s just been one of those days.
Thanks.
At least I have work all this week.
I hear you're a mare drinking a beer at a house which belongs to a bear. Is this the truth here?
Anonymous
No.
It’s a wine cooler.
Edit: Well… Three wine coolers.
You carried a six hundred pound bear to the hospital.
Anonymous
For thirty minutes.
There’s a rapid decline when you try prolonging strength amplification spells.
Oh my Celestia... you are really strong... the only other thing I could imagine is you being my research assistant, which is mostly reading and note writing for me, but I don't know how well you could stomach tedious research.
I appreciate it, Strawberry. I really do. But if I do this, I gotta do this.
I can’t work for a friend. It just doesn’t work out.
Repost because I’m not a clever pony.
Or maybe I am drunk. Whatever.
Forgot to censor the griffon
Anonymous
[omitted]!
Thanks for letting me know, though! You ponies are really nice for letting me know.
Goose Egg? I don't think I know that saying. I could like hire you to clean the houses or something, but most ponies aren't willing to pick up another's mess. I know you can do it though, your a strong pony.
No I’m not. I’m a lazy, weak nothing. I couldn’t last a day doing real work.
I can punch a tree out of the ground and send it flying, but I can’t do physical labor for more than an hour or so before I can barely move.
Edit: Oh, sorry, Goose egg means zero.
*time travels into the past and then steals lyra's dinner before she can eat it, drastically altering the time line, causing this to happen instead of the present equestria we all know and love: yqOK8EPsNDI *
Anonymous
No idea what that garbled gibberish at the end is. Thought maybe it was a Youhoof link, but I tried to plug it in and it doesn’t work.
Lyra... I wish I could help you... The only job I could really offer you is being a manager for one of the houses I rent out... but I don't know how much business you know...
Goose egg on the business experience.
For now I don’t have a choice. But maybe I should start looking around for a job again.
If you ever get desperate enough, I hear Prufrock Prepatory is hiring. They're severely understaffed, which should guarantee a well-paying job, but the headmaster is a huge jerk so you might end up quitting.
Anonymous
Lemony Snicket again?
I wouldn’t have known, but I Yahoof’d it.
