I’m not going to beat up a little filly. What kind of example would I be setting for Sweetie Belle?

A rap battle? You need to stop watching so many awful faux-street dance-off movies.

Where I’m from, the only thing you throw-down is your opponent’s body before you stomp on ‘em.

That describes what I think of, too. Not that I’m always trying to think of you and Krastos together, though.

That’s one of the reasons why I prefer ponies thinking that.

I’m gonna retire, sport.

Say, young colt, wanna mow my lawn for a shiny bit of your very own? Why I remember when you could spent one bit on a full course dinner…

I’d prefer ponies thinking that, to be honest.

I got infinitely more style than you, dawg.

Sweetie Belle’s I-can-never-tell-when-she’s-going-to-log-in-so-I-can’t-say.

Oh hai doggie.

I did naught hit her!

I did na~ught!

Cute. Bit of a stretch, but not bad.

You are certainly not a chicken.

…

Cheep cheep cheep!

Make a fort? Who do you think I am, Twilight Sparkle?

I guess I could put Sweetie Belle’s-…

Uh…

Nothing.

Nope.

Didn’t I already say I’m not familiar with that show?

Oh, but it gets better. If you do a search for Snowflake Jake, you get a fillies dress-up game about decorating a snowman.

Snowponies are so much cooler.

You do realize that was quite a while ago, right?

And in Canterlot.

Most would think that I look like a pony.

Don’t put words in my mouth.

Riding a train is cooler than riding on my boyfriend’s back. Faster too.