askscootabot:

sweetiebotreplies:

Flowers are living life-forms, which is more than can be said for Scoota-bot! She must be terminated!

(( Decided to do a Scoota-bot post since Putuksstuff has done numerous Sweetie Bot posts. Go give his stuff a look! ))

You’re right!

What have I done?

Reblogging because Earthbound. No further explanation needed.

1) I believe an airborne object can be unidentified, yes.

2) Raising the sun takes like thirty seconds. That wouldn’t really free up her schedule much.

The time she sacrifices everyday is what makes her great.

3) Awwww~! Thanks! That was nice!

Also, this Lyra doesn’t have any asks. She’s cool though. Draws too.

Help me help her.

1) I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time.

2) Why would you try to get away with that? I feel betrayed that somepony would attempt to slide something like that past me for no evident reason outside spite.

3) …

I’m sorry, filly, but I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about. You lost me at background pony. But ignoring that I still have haven’t a clue how I could know the answer to… whatever it is you’re asking.

Have you been watching too much television?

4) Thanks for sharing.

Come to think of it, that sounds familiar. Have I got that exact message before?

1) Okay, I had a relative idea what you were talking about before. Now you’ve completely lost me.

2) I’d be more than a little disappointed in Spike, but I can only protect Sweetie Belle so much.

Sometimes-… There are ponies in this world who will use you to fulfill their own means, then toss you aside when they’re done. She’d have to learn that putting yourself out there runs the risk of getting hurt.

I doubt I’d be friends with Spike anymore, though.

3) Nope; you’re the one. Like I’ve said, whatever ponies want to do that doesn’t hurt anypony is of no consequence to me. Just wish it wasn’t of me.

[Audible Sigh]

Okay, look. No levelheaded mare is really going to fault anypony for fantasizing about them behind closed doors. Just about all of them would rather not be told about it, but some may still be a little flattered. But when you go that far? No. That’s repulsive. In every situation, on every level, on every plane. And that’s all I’m going to say or address on the subject.

4) Ponynet. While I have you for the moment though, you may want to lower the saturation on that yellow you’re using for your page. It’s blinding.

5) I was evidently the only Lyra that watched instead of participating. Felt sort of bad. Been going out and walking more. Maybe I’ll participate this year.

6) I’m not saying that, and I’m not agreeing to it. You folks just need to stop looking for gratification in everything you enjoy. Don’t seek out a label to live under. Just be yourself. If somepony asks about something, let them know. Don’t be afraid, stay positive, but accept rejection if it comes and remain upbeat. Your opinion isn’t some grand battle to be won or lost through the conversion of others; it’s just your opinion.

7) Not bad. Little heavy-hooved in social commentary sometimes, but I can’t tell if that’s intentional or not.

8) I’d be glad the damage wasn’t so widespread, but I can understand.

1) I doubt most ponies know what the Olympics is, let alone Jamaica. See it, Shorty?

2) Yea! Woo! What’s happening?!

3) But… How? It started off as just a theater troop’s performance. How did you guys even see it? The first “season” wasn’t even televised, it was just a local show.

4) No.

5) Big, grown humans wanting to feel special for watching a little girl’s show.

You “bronies” are precious.

6) Oh, you know. We caught a burlesque show, harassed the elderly, robbed a liquor store. You know, upstanding citizen-type things.

1) If I’m the middle ground, then why don’t I just keep it the way it is? AskLyra. Sounds neutral to me.

2) Not really. If anypony does, it’s usually in jest.

3) Friendship Is Magic? The locally produced spoof documentary? I wasn’t aware you humans even knew about that.

But what does that have to do with real life? It’s just a low budget show about topical stuff around town.

4) Is that to say you’re a dolphin that can pilot something or a pilot for a dolphin?

5) You better bust that if you’re gonna pull that.

6) Everypony makes fun of everypony else; try not to take it seriously. You make it worse when you react.

7) Not single-space! Don’t! I’m sorry! Please don’t! Please? I said please!

8) Had to look up what that even meant. Since gay marriage has always been legal in Equestria, no pony really cares.

9) Like I said last time, I don’t care about another porn tumblr. I have nothing against the pony running it, but I’m not posting about it.

10) My Little… Pony? Don’t you mean Human? Or… I guess that would be the human version of the foal’s show… Huh… Never thought about that before.

So, what shows up on My Little Human for us has a pony version for you? And it’s a full franchise? Show hasn’t even been on more than a year or so in our world.

Wait, why aren’t little human girls bronies too?

11) Mostly swapped back and forth playing Tera. You used your fingers.

1) I had a nightmare about scorpions. But hey, at least that was unrelated to anything I’ve actually experienced.

2) I uh… I meant like a hoof prick! Ow, it hurts! You can’t tell on me!

3) I don’t know. It’s just a pony thing.

4)

5) Plenty of donkeys live here!

6) Oh. Well, that’s not so bad. Could have been worse, anyway.

7) I suppose on a Roy G. Biv scale, my coat is more green then blue.

8) Not me.

Yes, I’ve lied a few times. Usually if I do, it’s just to simplify things because I can’t legally talk about them. Sometimes it’s because I don’t want to think about them.

9) What do you mean “more or less?” What else is there to it?

10) That’s an oxymoron. I’m not changing my URL.

11) …

What the [omitted] are you on about? You huffin’ paint thinner or somethin’?

12) I am a piggy bank. Feed me money!

1) We got ourselves an edgy rebel over here.

2) Prick.

3) Fool me once.

4) If I remember right, in the first month or so after foalbirth, the child’s horn grows harder.

5) That’s great. Thanks. Now what about your memory? Is it just hazy during the time you were a human or is everything messed up?

6) How can somepony have a tragic past that happens on a regular basis? The past is the past. That’s why it’s called the past. And the only time I ever bring it up is when all of you bring it up.

Bon-Bon and I don’t live in poverty, I just don’t have any disposable income.

And what horrible illness? Because I got an upper respiratory infection twice? Because I broke my ankle? I’m sorry; have you never been sick or hurt before?

You seem to think everything can be identified as either dark and gritty or blind-saccharin happy. There’s this very common middle ground called real life. Some of us have to live in it.

7) I do not. In fact I haven’t read a book since I left college.

8) Humans that like ponies, right?

9) Whatever.

10) Go ahead, if you want. I’ve only had 6 unfollowers between Friday night and now.

Answers after the break.

Keep reading

Answers after the break, except this one.

10) I agree, of course. I might not agree with how he explained it, but the point is that it doesn’t have to be science or magic anymore than it has or be science or religion. The two are forever entangled. There are scientific ways to explain magic, even if we don’t always know how yet.

Keep reading

1) Do you want me to bark like a little dog; Arf Arf! Or a big dog; Woof Woof!

Sorry, that incredibly obscure reference is the best I got. Though really, how is anypony ever supposed to top this?

2) So a group of bronies calling themselves a corporation. Six of one, half a dozen of another.

3)

4) Pretty awesome.

5) I say we let him go!

6) I don’t think I understand the question. If you don’t already, why would you want to?

7) Why does that sound familiar…?

8) I’m afraid that’s not really how this sort of thing works.

9) The world is perfectly content to be left in blissful ignorance. Why would anypony want to ruin everypony’s lives by telling them things they have no control over?

10) Sort of have a full house already. Sorry.

11) Really? That soon?

12) Thanks, but I already knew. I was sidestepping the question because I’ve never watched Avatar and have no interest in it.

1) Google image search says Super Robot Wars, which I’ve heard of, but never seen.

If you’re only going by the caption, the answer is complicated.

2) I’ll admit I’ve made some mistakes, but what should I do? Post nothing? I was getting tired of ponies asking about me and Krastos. I don’t know how somepony pieced together what happened that night, but what was I supposed to do? Just lie about it? Why? It wasn’t my fault.

And Mister Cake is my friend, I don’t want to lie to him. I’m still worried about him and Gilda and his wife, but I’m holding out for him; holding out that everything will turn out okay.

3) Explain how you came to this conclusion.

4) I mentioned seeing a colt in my class playing a Gameboy before school started once when hanging out with some foals in the alley. A few of them took me to the game store I’ve brought up a few times before.

5) If Princess Celestia had been empowered herself-!

…

Nothing’s changed. I’ve heard rumors of increased patrols; possible promotions and greater incentives to enlist in the guard, but nothing concrete. Over half of the country has no idea beyond an attack having taken place and are better off not knowing.

6) CVSP doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.

7) No.

…

I mean, I don’t think so.

8) What a silly question.

1) Not anymore.

2) Fear, usually.

3) Uh… Benders? I don’t know much about robot philosophies. Maybe ask Scootabot?

4) FROM THE STREETS!

5) This one time, I hanged out with prostitutes and we all started a rock band.

6) I got a thing for good questions.

7) No no. I evolve into Mothra. I digivolve into Kabuterimon. Everypony digivolves into Kabuterimon. Even Kabuterimon digivolves into Kabuterimon!

…Ouch

1) I thought it was spelled with two N’s. At least call me Johnny B.

2) That would be the reason.

3) They thought of the answer before the question and were merely using the ask as an engine to try and lead the question to the specific conclusion they wanted.

If I were to hazard a guess, that is.

4) Well… Speaking entirely technically, we’re not equal. Even isolated from society, mares and stallions have physiological and psychological differences. Same with unicorns, pegasus, earth ponies, zebras, griffins, donkeys, mules, dragons, what-have-you. To me, it’s not about equality; you can’t create equality from an inequality. It’s about approaching ponies without expectations. Be cautious if you must, I know I am, but draw conclusions based on actions and the situation surrounding them.

5) I thought humans had manes! They’re bald?

6) From this, into this.

7) Darn it! I’m not trying to hurt anypony’s feelings! Can we please just stop talking about this?